Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic Opening Line Failure

From the Bulwar-Lytton fiction contest website - worst opening lines of 2020.

Call me Ishmael, for my tale is that of the only survivor of the attack by a great white whale on the “Pequod,” our Nantucket whaling vessel, and though the story is so fantastic you may be tempted to question my veracity, I need only remind you that writers write and readers read, and you really should stay in your own lane.

John Hardi, Falls Church, VA

~~~~~~~~~~

Comments?

Well, it evokes an emotional response at least. Maybe I'm too independent but I have an immediate aversion to people telling me what to do, particularly people who haven't earned the respect to do so. In my mind, the last phrase reads as "This is going to be bad but you'd better choke it down and I don't want to hear about it."

For those not familiar with the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, it's an annual competition open to all and sundry to write a terrible opening sentence to a novel, short story, or vignette. Here's the website.

I challenge each of you to read some of these rotten gems and not laugh out loud. The 2020 winner is shown below.

Terry, thanks for the introduction to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. I hadn't heard of them before, and they're a real treasure!

My favorite, the winner of the Children's Lit category:

As Charlotte meticulously finished her egg sac on the lonely rafter at the county fairgrounds, she thought about the future day when her children would burrow into Wilbur's flesh to consume him from the inside-out, and hummed her favorite song about the wheel of life rolling on.

Robert Greer, Gilbert, AZ

The fastest way for me to lose my status as favorite aunt...

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest has announced the 2021 winners! My favorite from the Fantasy & Horror Dishonorable Mention is:


I love to read these. I always get at least a chuckle out of them.

I made the mistake of looking at the historical winners. I can't pick a favorite. Some of them are so bad they're good.

Thanks Terry!