Okay, I'm not going to keep you waiting any longer. Here's the last part.
This was inspired by a challenge originally posted by VirginiaR. I admit that it's not the episode "Metallo", but I always wondered how Clark might have reacted to Red K in the first season. To Love And To Lose
Part 3: I put down the journal. Whatever I've been expecting, it certainly wasn’t this. It's definitely interesting to read his version of our first intimate encounter. Actually, looking back to the first night, I’m not even sure why I readily jumped into bed with Superman. I guess I was overwhelmed that of all women he had chosen me. His kisses had made my knees weak and his hands had set my body on fire. I had wanted him, no doubt about that.
But if I’m completely honest, I don’t think I had been entirely ready. My experience with men had been limited. And the men I had been with had cared more about their pleasure than about mine. I thought that was just the way sex was like. Later on, Superman - or rather Clark - showed me that it could also be different. Still, in hindsight I was a bit resentful that Superman had not asked my permission, the first time. It just didn’t fit the image I had of him. Now I know why.
I look at the journal again and continue to flip through the pages. After that first night I went to Luthor and told him that I couldn't marry him. He was furious, and I caught a glimpse of the man behind the suave exterior. Luthor said that I made a mistake and that I would come to see reason. It sounded like a threat.
May, 8th 1994
I'm worried about Lois, but I'm also glad that she’s finally listening to me. She even apologized to Clark for not believing him when he warned her about Luthor.
We've started to investigate the bombing of the Daily Planet building. Jimmy is helping us, and even Perry took a break from retirement to give us a hand. Together, I’m sure we'll find enough evidence to bring Luthor down.
Working with Lois again almost feels as if nothing happened between us. I’m beginning to hope that maybe I can still win her heart as Clark before I tell her my secret.We actually managed to expose Luthor as the criminal that he truly was. Inspector Henderson had been delighted to find out who the boss was. When he had stormed Lex Tower to make the arrest, Luthor had jumped from the balcony of his penthouse. He hadn't been able to escape justice, though. Superman had caught him on his way down and Luthor went into prison, sentenced for a lifetime.
October 2nd, 1994
So much has happened in the past few months. The Daily Planet is fully renovated now. Luthor’s trial is over and things are settling back to normal. It still feels kind of strange to have Lois as my secret girlfriend. I asked her not to tell Clark about us. One reason is that I don’t want to discuss her love life with Superman or give her advice if things don’t go smoothly. The other reason is that I want to be able to flirt with her as Clark. This is such a bizarre situation. Am I actually thinking about trying to betray myself with Lois? Mom already told me that I’ going crazy. She decided to pick up her psychology classes again, just in case.
Yesterday, Lois got suspended because her source was killed. She really is devastated. When I visited her as Superman, she cried her heart out and I tried to comfort her. We cuddled on her sofa and talked. In times like these, I’m grateful that she lets me get so close to her. I wouldn’t have been able to give her a firm hug as Clark. She would have put on a brave face and told him that she didn’t need his pity.
Later, Lois visited Clark in the middle of the night with one of her brilliant ideas. I was also happy that she still turns to Clark when she needs him.
But it kills me that I can’t give her both Superman and Clark at the same time. Mom said that I should go on and tell her about Superman. I’m afraid that Lois will feel betrayed if I do. After the past few months, I’ve told her so many lies and half-truths that she won’t be able to forgive me. How can I get myself out of this mess?I pause for a moment and stare into space. I can’t help but wonder what I would have done if Clark had told me about his secret identity then. The truth is that I don’t know. I’d been shocked to find out about Luthor’s true character, because I absolutely hadn’t seen that coming. The trial had revealed even more of his wrong-doings than we had uncovered. Finding out that Superman had lied to me as well would have just been the icing on the cake, I guess.
Clark’s lullaby to Sara in the bedroom interrupts my thoughts. Perry is right. He really couldn’t carry a tune if his life depended on it. But while he might lack talent as a singer, he certainly is a good father.
Anyway, instead of giving myself a hard time about not seeing through Lex’ philanthropist act, I had been living a dream. Superman had visited me each night, spending a few hours at my place. He had supported and protected me as the Prankster had threatened to kill me. He had been there for me when Clark had been killed by Clyde Barrow.
I take in a breath. Now that I think about it, Clark couldn’t have been killed by that bullet. He had pretended to be dead! Hastily, I turn the pages until I find the right date.
November 13th, 1994
Clark is dead. My final hope that I might be able to win Lois over as Clark is shattered. I don’t know what to do. Maybe, given time, I will come to realize this is a good thing. I could stop playing this hide-and-seek game with Lois. If I was Superman full time, I wouldn’t be lying to her anymore. But the truth of the matter is that I don’t know how to become Superman. So far, he’s just an act I was hoping I could drop someday.
But what if the right day will never come? Shouldn’t I spare myself a lifetime of heartache?
But is that fair to Lois? She is suffering at the loss of her partner and friend. But how could Clark return?
I’d like to ask Mom’s advice. But I’m afraid she’s going to tell me that I’m losing it completely. Perhaps she’s right about that. I doubt there is even a psychological term for problems like mine.I close the journal and put it back onto the table. I feel a little guilty reading about Clark’s innermost thoughts. It doesn’t feel right, even though he gave me permission to do so. Thinking back at the first few months of my relationship with Superman, I was just deliriously happy. Clark’s death, however, had been a major setback. I guess it was the first time I actually realized how much this man had meant to me. I was utterly devastated. Superman had been my anchor. But I couldn’t let him see how much I actually missed Clark. It felt like betraying him, because I began to understand that he wasn’t the only man I was in love with.
Before Clark returned from the dead, I had just been incredibly sad. But when he came back, I had a huge problem on my hands. How do you love two men? I had told myself that I had already made my decision. I had thought that he was happy with Mayson…
My gaze darts back to the journal. What about her? I pick the notebook up again to read some more when Clark steps back into the living room. He’s carrying his daughter in his arms. The baby girl is resting her head against his chest, her eyelids drooping every now and then. She blinks into the light. Then she turns her head to hide against his shoulder.
“She’s hungry,” Clark explains softly. He walks over to a cupboard with several bottles on it. There’s a small water boiler, too.
“Can I help you?” I ask.
“No, I’m good, thank you.” Clark takes a bottle of water and twists of the lid. He pours some of it into the water boiler and fills an empty baby bottle with the rest. For the next few minutes he prepares a bottle of milk for his daughter, talking softly to her while she watches him.
Sara seems to become a little bolder and more awake as she waits for her meal. She’s starting to take a look around until her little eyes focus on me. A smile spreads across her face and she points to me with one small finger.
“Lana,” she says. “Lana.”
Clark turns his head to look at me. “No, sweety. That’s Lois. Lana has gone to bed. You’ll see her again tomorrow.”
“Lana,” Sara insists.
Clark shakes his head and smiles. “Ever since she saw Lana for the first time, she seems to think that every grown woman is called Lana. Except for my mother, of course. She’s Gramma.”
I suddenly feel compelled to ask, “Are you and Lana a couple?”
“No, she’s just an old friend,” Clark says. “Happily married, by the way.”
The water has obviously reached the right temperature, because Clark pours the hot water into the bottle, closes the lid and starts to shake it. He returns to the sofa and sets Sara down on his lap. He holds the bottle to his cheek to test the temperature one last time before he hands it to Sara. Hungrily, she begins to drink the milk.
“Lana and I went to high school together. I dated her a few times, but it just didn’t work out.” Clark shrugs, causing Sara to drop her bottle and stare at him. “Sorry, sweety, didn’t mean to startle you.” He bends down to pick up the bottle and hands it back to her. “When she heard that I had returned to Smallville with a little daughter, she came to see the baby. Lana loves kids as long as they belong to someone else. Sara and Lana – that was love at first sight. Lana has been an occasional babysitter ever since. But for the most part, she’s busy running her own travel agency back in Smallville.”
I feel strangely relieved to hear their relationship is just platonic. But there is still something I want to know. “And why is she here now?”
“Mom didn’t have time. She’s attending a psychology class this weekend, so I couldn’t leave Sara with her. That’s why I asked Lana if she could do some babysitting for me while I was holding the lecture. She was thrilled, because she wanted to test this hotel anyway.”
For a time we both fall silent. I watch little Sara as she drinks her milk. How do I feel about her? I certainly didn’t expect to learn that Clark is a father now. Suddenly I feel like an intruder. It’s been three days since Jimmy stormed into the newsroom to tell me that Clark was still alive. It seems like that happened in another life.
I had been hoping to find the Clark I knew. I wanted to persuade him to resume our friendship until I would eventually reveal my feelings for him. But the man I’m sharing this sofa with is not this old Clark. He’s changed. We share a history that I hadn’t even been aware of. He’s been in a war. He’s become a loving father.
I’m not sure how I feel about all this. Do I even want to be friends with Clark again? Can he forgive me? Can I forgive him? There are so many questions and I’m sure that tonight won’t be enough to find answers to all of them.
Clark seems to read my thoughts. “This is a bit much to take in, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I reply. I’m not sure what to say. There are so many questions I still have no answer to. So, where should I start?
“I didn’t think I would ever see you again,” Clark says softly. “Frankly, I didn’t want to. But for what it’s worth, I’m glad you followed me and made me talk to you. There are things I was never able to tell anyone about. It feels good to finally get them out in the open.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” My eyes dart back to the journal that is still sitting on the table. I wonder what other secrets it contains. My gut twists painfully. I had been about to search for Mayson when Clark entered the room.
“Did you sleep with her?” The words are out of my mouth before I even know it.
Clark gapes at me, taken aback. “Sleep with - who?” He blushes.
Wow, Lois, just great. I know I’m not the world’s most tactful person. But tonight I really go out of my way to put my foot in my mouth. The thought that he might have betrayed me with her just sends my emotions spiraling out of control.
“Mayson,” I mutter. I clench my hands to keep them from fumbling around nervously.
Clark shakes his head. “No. I have to admit that I was flattered by her attention. It was kind of refreshing to have someone fawn over Clark instead of Superman. We had lunch a few times. But that never amounted to more than a kiss on the cheek.”
“You kissed her on the mouth,” I accuse him.
“She kissed me,” he counters.
“Oh, big difference,” I spit. A sudden rush of anger pours through me. I feel awfully reminded of all the arguments between my parents.
Clark takes my hand and squeezes it gently. I feel the urge to pull back. But before I can act on that impulse, his warmth radiates through me. His touch has a very calming effect.
“You assumed we were a couple,” Clark tells me. “I encouraged that belief. I was secretly hoping that maybe you were a tad bit jealous.”
That I was. “Why did you never tell me about your secret?”
Clark looks down. His daughter has emptied her bottle by now and is resting her head against his chest. Her eyelids start to droop again.
“I didn’t know how,” he says softly. “I was so happy to be there for you in a way that I couldn’t before. To hold you and kiss you and talk to you on a more intimate level than Clark.” He shifts on his seat and Sara’s eyes flutter open again, but only for a moment. “I didn’t want to give that up. At the same time I was unhappy that I couldn’t be entirely myself when I was around you…” His voice trails off. “Excuse me for a moment. I’m taking Sara back to bed.”
He gets up, cradles Sara against his chest, and blows a kiss on her forehead.
His limp seems less pronounced than earlier. I watch Clark as he vanishes into the bedroom and closes the door behind him. I release a breath I didn’t realize I have been holding. Clark is right. This is very much to take in. And there are so many questions I still want to ask. My gaze drifts through the room until I find the journal again that is of course still sitting on the table. I can’t help myself. I have to pick it up again. Flipping it open, I immerse myself in Clark’s memories.
December, 24th 1994
I did something very selfish, today. I lied to Lois and led her to believe that Superman was so busy saving lives, that he couldn’t spend Christmas with her. But I visited her anyway, as Clark. It was one of the most wonderful evenings I ever had. We talked and we laughed, just as friends, but still… I feel much more comfortable around her when I’m not wearing the suit. After we had had dinner, we stood behind an open window and listened to the carol’s singers. I lay an arm around her. Oh how much I wished I could just kiss her hair, inhale that incredible scent. Perhaps I should just tell her. Everything would be so much easier if I did. Or everything will be over…I still remember that Christmas Eve. I remember how much I enjoyed being so close to him. And when we listened to the carol’s singers, I was so happy to share that moment with someone else, out in the open, for the world to see. I couldn’t help but think that with Kal things would never be that easy.
Kal came to spend Christmas Day with me. But after that, he made himself scarce. I don’t quite know if he was actually so busy being Superman, or if he might have tried to spend more time with me as Clark. In the light of knowing that they’re the same man, I’m not so sure anymore. Right now, I don’t even remember if Clark and I actually did spend more time together. I was just too disappointed about seeing so little of Superman.
Everything seemed to change again when Superman was blinded by Dr. Leit’s light. He needed my help, and suddenly we were much closer again.
So what was the final shove? What made me break up with Superman? Well, I guess it all started when Luthor escaped prison. Clark and I figured that his lawyer, Sheldon Bender, would be a good place to start looking for him. Perry organized a stake-out in a small apartment at the Metropolis Marina. Once again I got a glimpse of what life of a normal couple might be like. And I thought about what would happen if I asked Clark out. We could just go into a restaurant, eat dinner and share the dessert. And suddenly I realized that I craved this kind of normal life. Being with Superman and stealing mere moments between rescues with no hope of that ever changing – that wasn’t what I wanted. I had thought that loving Superman and being loved by him was worth any sacrifice I had to make. But at the end of the day that just wasn’t true.
March 19th, 1995
I’m beginning to realize that it’s over. We spend such a wonderful night at the Marina, again just as friends. I thought that maybe the day to tell her my secret would come soon. But right now, Lois is just fed up with Clark. I have been so busy as Superman that we haven’t been able to spend much time together. And I have to admit that I also feel guilty about Mayson’s death. If I hadn’t been lying in Lois’ arms as Superman, she might still be alive. I know I can’t rescue everyone. But even though I didn’t share her feelings for me, she was still a dear friend.
But what really worries me is that Lois is flirting with someone else. A Dan Scardino has suddenly appeared in her life. He claimed he was investigating Mayson’s death, but he clearly has some other agenda. I don’t know what and frankly, I couldn’t care less. All I need to know is that Lois turns to him rather than to Clark. It was hard enough to have her love Superman instead of Clark. But I couldn’t stay and watch her fall in love with someone else.I swallow against the lump in my throat. I had been so caught up in my own emotional disaster that I hadn’t realized how Clark had perceived my flirting with Dan Scardino. Or rather his flirting with me. I don’t think that I had actually realized what I’d been doing. My thoughts had revolved around more acute problems. Did I really want to break up with Superman and try to start a relationship with Clark? Just around that time, Clark had been noticeably absent on several occasions. I just hadn’t been sure if I was just going to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire.
I turn the page and go to the next important date, my heart beating in my chest.
April 2nd, 1995
Lois broke up with me. I should have seen that coming, only I didn’t, not really anyway. I thought that we were just having a hard time with my rescues and all.
Did I really believe that she would never break up with me just because I’m Superman? That somehow my invulnerability would stretch out into any part of my life?
Well, it doesn’t. And having to say goodbye to Lois hurts more than kryptonite ever could. It cuts deep into my soul.
I’ve been fooling myself into believing that she really loves me. I was hoping that someday I’d share my secret with her. When she’d be ready to accept that she has to love Clark too...
But as I suspected from the very beginning, Lois only fell in love with the fantasy. She never really loved me. Not the Clark me, and not the Superman me. I’m a stranger in this world. Perhaps love for me is just not meant to be.
Now that Dan Scardino has turned up, she doesn’t want me anymore. I don’t know what to do. I flew into the Arctic and screamed my head off, but that didn’t help much. The only thing I know is that I have to leave Metropolis. Clark will just stay long enough to pack his things. Superman might be around for a little longer. I don’t know. Actually, I don’t know anything at all right now.I fight against the tears that are about to roll down my cheeks. He really thought that I’d broken up with him because of Scardino? No wonder he’d been so angry with me. I have to admit though, that my timing had been really bad.
I know that my decision to end my affair with Superman was made before I even met Dan. I’d been so busy trying to come to terms with everything that had happened and with what I wanted. I guess I hardly registered what kind of effect the presence of Dan Scardino had on Clark. And I hadn’t told Dan to get lost either. So, when I had finally made up my mind about how to proceed with Clark, I had knocked at his apartment. But the door had been open and the place abandoned.
Later, Perry showed me Clark’s resignation and a note that told me he wasn’t going to come back.
“Are you okay?” Clark’s voice pulls me out of my reverie.
I look up. He leans against the frame of the bedroom door. A small frown creases his forehead. The door behind him is closed. Sara obviously is asleep again.
“I’m so sorry, Clark,” I mutter past the lump in my throat.
“Me too,” he says softly.
The frown disappears. Clark looks relaxed, as if by letting me read his journal a huge weight has been lifted off him. Slowly, he walks back to the sofa and sits down a lot closer than before. He reaches out to shut the journal that is still in my lap.
“We both made mistakes, Lois. It wasn’t fair of me to keep my secret from you. I was selfish to hope that I could win you over, that there was still a chance for us. I should have told you and let you decide what kind of future we had.” He looks down at his hands.
“That would have been better,” I agree. “Clark, the reason I broke up with Superman was never that I didn’t love him. But I realized that I could never be more than his secret affair. And that was something I couldn’t live with for the rest of my life.”
I reach out and take Clark’s hand in mine and squeeze it for a moment. “And then there was Clark, the man I could always turn to. The man who came over to spend Christmas with me. The man who chose me as his date for his first Kerth Award. The man who teased me, stood up to me, and was always there when I needed him. Not just to save my life, but to help me in any way he could. I realized that I’d rather spend an all-night stake-out at the Marina with you than one perfect evening above the clouds. But you were gone when I wanted to tell you that.”
A sad look clouds his face. “So I was successful, after all, huh?”
For a moment there I hope that the spell is broken. I want him to bend towards me and kiss me again, like only Clark can kiss me. I want to feel his lips the way I felt them when he was with me as Superman. But he doesn’t move and neither do I, because I’m afraid that I’d be crossing an invisible line. Maybe it’s too late for us. There’s too much damage to repair in one night. I can’t expect him to just forgive me. One small mistake could shatter any progress I have made. So instead of asking him if there’s still a chance for us, I settle for something safe.
“Did you ever find out what happened to you that first night?” I ask.
He looks a little confused by my change of subject. “Uh huh,” he mutters. “Remember the few days Superman just didn’t care about robberies and such? Right after we broke up?”
I nod. “I thought that he was out of it because I broke up with him.”
“Well, that was when I encountered Red Kryptonite for the second time,” he explains. “The effect of it was quite similar. Only that time, I wasn’t so crazily in love with you. While the Green Kryptonite makes me physically sick, the Red Kryptonite has an effect on my psyche. It amplifies my feelings and lowers my inhibitions. The first time I went crazy with lust. The second time I got so depressed that I just didn’t care for much of anything. I figured that Luthor must have found Red Kryptonite.” Clark lets out a small chuckle. “I bet he wanted to get the green variety.”
As he says that, I remember something that I heard when I told Luthor that I couldn’t marry him. “Yeah, now that you mention it. Luthor was talking to someone on the phone about a ‘Series K,’ when I went to him. He was quite angry. He ordered whoever was on the phone with him to run more tests. I didn’t know what to make of it then. And over time I just forgot.”
Clark nods slowly. “I’d say that confirms my suspicions.” He takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. It’s the first time I see him do that. He sets his glasses down on the table. “Is there anything else you want to know?”
I look at Clark and feel my heart beating in my chest. That’s my cue. I know that if I leave this hotel room now without asking, I’ll probably never get another chance.
I take a deep breath, trying to muster all my courage. “Clark, I know you have no reason to believe me. But I really do love you. I was so happy to see you again. Is there a chance for us at all that we can be friends?” I swallow hard and bite my tongue for a moment. But this needs to be said, no matter the fallout. “And maybe more?”
Clark’s eyes rest on me. He remains awfully quiet. I’m desperately trying to read his expression, trying to discern whether it’s longing and love I see there. But I know that whatever there might be, my wishful thinking is clouding my judgement. A moment stretches in to an eternity as we both sit on this sofa in silence.
He lets out a slow breath and shakes his head. “No, Lois. I promised to tell you the truth tonight.” He shifts on his seat restlessly before he finally gets up again and walks over to the windows to stare out into the night. “It’s not that I don’t love you anymore. I don’t think that I could ever stop loving you.” His voice is no more than a whisper. “But I can’t go through that kind of heartbreak again.”
“So - if I go now, this is goodbye?” I’m fighting a losing battle against the tears that are now falling freely. “Forever?”
As he turns towards me, I see tears glistening in his eyes as well. “Yes, Lois. I’m sorry.”
I have this strange sensation of falling, as if someone just pulled the rug out from under me. Suddenly I feel numb, completely detached. My body seems to belong to someone else as I close the distance between me and Clark. He is still standing in front of the window.
“Then all I can say is - goodbye, Clark,” I hear myself say. My voice is hoarse. My feet walk on their own volition, just a few steps until I’m only inches away from him.
I stand on the tip of my toes and place a soft kiss on his cheek. I could lose myself right there in the feeling of his skin on mine. I breathe in the soft scent of his aftershave. He hasn’t changed it. After all this time, he’s still Clark. Hot tears are rolling down my cheeks and I wish that I could continue to exist in just this split second that I kiss him. It’s painful to stop touching him, but I have to drag myself away.
“Goodbye, Lois,” he says softly.
***
The alarm clock rings, pulling me out of sleep. I need a moment to come to. It’s much too early. It takes me a moment to remember what happened. But suddenly it comes back with a vengeance. Clark. I met Clark again. I don’t know how I made it home, or even out of his hotel room. At some point I must have called a cab, else I wouldn’t be at home in my bed. But that seems no more than a distant memory, like a dream.
The memory of Clark is still fresh, though. And so is the pain of having to say goodbye to him. I pull my blanket above my head and try to bury myself underneath it. I don’t want to get up ever again. I had no more than a couple of hours of sleep. But while I fell asleep instantly, completely spent from the emotional roller coaster ride that lay behind me, I’m fully awake now.
For a moment, I think about calling in sick. I’m not ready to work. If I step into the newsroom, where everything reminds me of Clark, I’m bound to have a nervous breakdown. But on the other hand, what am I supposed to do at home? Sit on my sofa, clad in a terry cloth robe with a big container of chocolate chip ice cream – how long can I do that?
So, like a robot, I drag myself out of bed and go through my morning routine. Perhaps work will help me keep my mind off the things that happened yesterday. All those revelations that still take my breath away. I drink a cup of coffee but forego breakfast. I don’t think I could keep anything down.
About an hour later, I sit in front of my computer and try to type up an article about yesterday’s lecture. The newsroom is busy as always. Strangely, the bustling activity helps me to stay focused. My fingers type mechanically and now and again, I take a sip of stale newsroom coffee.
“Hey, Lois,” Jimmy interrupts me. “How did it go yesterday?” Curiosity is written all over his face. I’m glad he keeps his voice down as he continues. I’m not sure I could handle another commotion. “Was it Clark?”
He sits down on the edge of my desk, blocking my view on the computer screen to make sure he has my complete attention. With a sigh, I lean back in my chair and look at him.
“Yes, it was Clark,” I confirm.
“I knew it,” Jimmy rejoices. “How is he? Is he coming back? Where was he?” He asks quickly, not stopping to take a breath.
“No, Jimmy, he’s not coming back,” I say sadly. “He’s…” My breath catches in my throat. I can’t continue. Once again tears are threatening to roll down my cheeks. Besides, I don’t really know what to tell Jimmy. There are just so many things I can’t explain without revealing Clark’s true identity. And I don’t want him to know everything that went on between Clark and me. It’s too private to discuss with him, even if he’s a good friend. “Never mind. It’s complicated.”
Jimmy’s smile falters. He looks at me in sympathy. “I’m sorry, Lois. I know how much he means to you.”
“Thank you, Jimmy.” He gives me a quick nod and pushes himself off my desk. But then he suddenly stops and touches my shoulder.
“Lois, you should see this,” he mutters and points towards the elevators in my back.
I turn around to see what caught Jimmy’s attention. My heart misses a beat.
There is Clark, carrying Sara in one arm and holding the cane in the other hand. His hair is a lot shorter and his beard is gone. Lana is standing a few feet behind him. His gaze darts across the newsroom until his eyes finally come to rest on me. A smile plays around his lips and he hands Sara over to Lana, before he comes down the ramp. Today, his limp is hardly visible.
“Well, well, if this isn’t our prodigal son,” I hear Perry’s drawl all across the newsroom. “Clark, is that really you?”
“In flesh and blood, chief,” Clark says and the smile on his lips is increasing.
“Come for another interview, huh?” Perry winks at him. “You know, I always have a job opening for an author with your talents.”
“We’ll see about that, Perry.”
“C.K!” Jimmy shouts happily and pulls Clark into a firm hug. “It’s so good to see you again. We’ve all missed you so much. Where have you been all this time?”
“Jimmy,” Clark says, “it’s good to see you, too. We can catch up later. There’s something I need to do first.”
As Jimmy steps aside, there is no one left between Clark and me. We look at each other, and for a long moment neither of us says anything at all. I take in the change in Clark’s appearance. It seems as if a dark cloud has been lifted off him. A faint blush is creeping into his cheeks.
“Lois,” he says hoarsely. “My plane is leaving in a few hours, but there is something that I wanted to talk to you about.” He looks around, realizing that almost everybody in the newsroom is staring at us. “In private?”
“The conference room?” I offer. He nods and follows my lead. A few seconds later, I close the door behind us. “What do you want, Clark?”
“I don’t know how to say this, Lois. I thought I’d feel liberated if I told you that I don’t want to see you again. But it’s not a pleasant feeling at all. It was so good talking to you yesterday. I finally felt like I might be able to heal someday. My heat vision even returned this morning and I could shave again,” he says. He looks down at his feet and a blush creeps onto his cheeks. “You made me feel so good about myself, like I haven’t felt in a long time. You’re my best friend, and I can’t lose you again. I guess that true love is worth risking a few bruises.” He lifts his hand a little, as if he wants to cup my cheek, like he did as Superman, back in the days when we were open with each other. But his hand stills and he lets it sink again. “Do you really love me, Lois?” His voice is no more than a whisper.
“With all my heart,” I reply. There is a huge lump in my throat.
“And what if Superman never comes back?” he asks. He raises his hand again, this time cupping my cheek.
I cover his hand with mine. “Then I’d love you just the same.”
“And if he does come back, could you share me with the world?” Clark says softly.
I turn my head and place a kiss in his palm. “As long as you’re willing to share your world with me.”
Then I close the distance between us and capture his lips in a fierce kiss. It’s everything that needs to be said, everything that I want him to know. I melt into him and for moment I don’t want to ever breathe again. If we never part, that will be soon enough. We’ve lost so much time, and I don’t want to waste another minute not touching him. I have finally found Clark again.
The EndPlease
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