Since the writ has now been dropped and Canada goes to the polls to elect a new government on October 21st, I thought it was time for me to make a plea for all Canadians to vote for... the most wonderful, honest and inspiring party in Canada. Which party, you ask? Well... Duh... THE RHINOCEROS PARTY, of course (could I possibly be describing any other political party?)
To help you decide, let me highlight a few of their promises for this election (always keeping in mind that their primary promise is to break all of their promises and their primary directive is that if any member of the party is elected, they will immediately resign and call a by-election because elections are so much fun)
Public Safety being the number one priority of the Rhinoceros Party, they promise, among other things...
...to increase the safety of Canadian children by requiring newborns’ first names to be at least 12 letters, including a capital letter, a number, and a special character.
Employment being the number one priority of the Rhinoceros party, they promise, among other things...
...to rewrite the Labour Code in order to add one holiday per month. April 1st and the birthday of the party leader will also become holidays. Finally, it will be forbidden to work the day after a holiday.
The Environment being the number one priority of the Rhinoceros Party, they promise, among other things...
...to promote carpooling by making sure that the brake pedal is installed on the passenger side of all vehicles,
....because green cars are not available in sufficient numbers in Canada, a Rhinoceros Government will force car manufacturers to build more green cars: forest green, pale green, khaki green and neon green,
....scientists predict that in the next 20 years, global warming will threaten the existence of human beings. The Rhinoceros Party will do better! A Rhinoceros Government promises to make it happen in 10 years!
....in order to fight global warming, they will force all citizens to leave their windows open in the summer and to operate the air conditioning to the maximum.
Canadian Heritage being the number one priority of the Rhinoceros Party, they promise, among other things...
....to make "sorry" the new official motto of Canada
Health Care being the number one priority of the Rhinoceros Party, they promise, among other things...
....to counter the shortage of doctors and nurses by providing steroids to all employees to increase their performance.
To get more info on the Rhinoceros Party:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party https://www.partyrhino.ca/en/our-promises/ (Hey, laughter is always important in an election!)
