Previously - Chapter 13 ***
A gentle WHAM warning (not death-related, may be helpful if you really hate what I’ve done to Clark so far and are considering not reading any more) (Kudos to the ARC reader who realized my naivety and pointed out that I should probably say something - Thanks):
In this chapter, Clark reaches the lowest point in his pit of despair. He may seem like he’s reaching the end of his rope and exhibiting behaviors that someone might identify as warning signs of suicide. Rest assured, this WHAM warning is NOT for that. No such event will take place in this story. However, if you were or are now worried about Clark’s emotional well-being, recall that in Chapter 13, Lex revealed that he intentionally made it such that suicide was not something that Clark would consider. The end of this chapter signifies the
bottom of Clark’s miserable tale. From here it goes up. I just wanted to give you a heads up that the end of the chapter is bit dark for him.
Sorry Clark. If you have no interest in reading that, you could just tell yourself that Clark is miserable and stop reading after Lois goes to bed and pick up again with Chapter 15.
***
Chapter 14***
A few hours later, they relaxed on the plush chaise sectional sofa watching the news after dinner as they always did. But this time Lex noticed the subtle differences. She was making an effort to mask it, but she sat just the slightest bit further away and did not lean as much in his direction as she used to. When he reached for her hand, she seemed startled but allowed him to take it.
How long had she known?
How long had she known she was pregnant?
He gently squeezed her hand and could sense the faintest turmoil within her. It troubled him to know she was distressed and trying to hide it. In her condition, he knew it could be dangerous. It was imperative, for her safety and that of their unborn child, that something be done as quickly as possible. But he would first have to discuss it with Hightower to determine what would be the best course of action.
As they reclined next to each other, he considered what could immediately be done and made a decision. He leaned closer to her shoulder and ignored the subtle shift she made. “Lois, my dear,” Lex cooed into her ear, “I’ve decided we should take a little vacation.”
“A vacation?” Lois said distractedly. She kept her eyes on the television, but he wondered if her attention really so focused on the news. Or was she only pretending?
“Yes,” he said as he laced his fingers through hers. She didn’t pull away and he pulled her hand into his lap. He smiled at the catch in her breath he heard as he began stroking her fingers. “Since we have some time off, I thought we could celebrate our happy news with a little get-away to that chateau of mine upstate.” The increase in her breathing was only barely noticeable. “It has a sort of gothic feel to it. Very romantic,” he said as he brought her fingers to his lips. “I know you’ll love it.”
She turned to him then with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Have we been there before? I don’t remember it.”
“No, darling. I only just acquired it last month. But I thought it would be the perfect place for us to relax.” Lex suggestively inched his body closer to hers. “And … enjoy each other’s company.”
After adjusting her own position, she leaned her head on his shoulder and said, “I don’t know, now might not be the best time.”
“But Lois, darling, later you’ll be too far along to be comfortable traveling long distances,” he pointed out. “Now is the most suitable time.”
She sighed, and he wondered what hidden meaning it carried. “Oh, Lex, I just don’t feel up to it.”
“Won’t you reconsider?” he tried to appeal. “It will be very relaxing.”
Her head rolled from side to side on his shoulder. “I don’t know...”
He guessed the reason for her reluctance to say yes – she was aware. What could he say to help her feel more comfortable with the idea, to be willing to go? He gathered that she was nervous to spend time with him and assumed she would come up with some excuse to not share a bed with him tonight. Perhaps the promise of some time alone would do the trick.
“I was hoping we could go in the morning, but I have an appointment just before lunch. I was hoping that you might be willing to head there yourself. I’ve arranged for Scott to drive you.”
***
Scott. She closed her eyes to restrain her excitement at hearing this. She hadn’t seen Scott today and wasn’t sure when she would see him again. This would be the perfect opportunity to ask him questions, work out what to do next. Suddenly the idea wasn’t so bad.
“Well,” she began, trying not to sound too eager. “Is it far? I don’t think I could be in a car for too long. Driving home last night was miserable.” It was true enough.
“It’s only a couple of hours. And you could stop along the way if you needed a break.” He squeezed her hand again, his need for contact surprising her after having remembered who he really was. “The countryside is beautiful.”
“When would you get there?” she asked.
“Later that afternoon. I hope to be there in time to watch the sunset with you over the river.” He turned to kiss the top of her head. “I thought I would have Scott take you there just after breakfast. However, since I am certain you will miss me,” he said with laughter in his voice, “I was going to have them prepare your favorite dessert – Double Fudge Crunch Bars. They will be there waiting.”
She smiled and chuckled at his thoughtfulness and then felt the familiar nausea flaring up. She swallowed to suppress it before answering, “That sounds… perfect,” she said with as genuine a smile as she could manage.
Lex shifted then and as she lifted her head from his shoulder, she turned to see some unreadable expression flit across his face before it was replaced with the affection she had grown accustomed to, however outlandish it seemed now.
“Perfect.” His eyes smiled at her as he slowly leaned closer, making his intentions clear when he glanced at her lips.
As if on cue, the nausea overwhelmed her once more and she made a mad dash to the bathroom. It was bothersome but made it exceedingly easy to convince Lex she was pregnant. So long as he didn’t notice that it only seemed to happen when he tried to be intimate with her.
Lex followed her, ever the completely contradictory sympathetic husband, rubbed small circles all over her back, offered her a washcloth at the right time, and spoke soft assurances to her. It was awkward to have him here. She was embarrassed to have an audience for the unpleasant event, but she allowed it for fear that he would see through her deception.
A thought struck her as he pulled her hair from her face: Where would she sleep tonight? He would expect her to be fine with sleeping in their bed. But the thought of being there next to him with the potential for anything to happen had her stomach heaving anew. If only she could come up with a reason to need to sleep somewhere else.
“Lois, darling,” Lex began. “After the last twenty-four hours or so, it appears you have all-the-time sickness instead of morning sickness.”
She laughed at his reference between her heaving.
“I don’t think you’ve slept well lately,” he continued, rubbing her back again. “I’m worried about you … and the baby.”
She could feel his sincerity in the way he tenderly touched her and hear the smile in his voice at the mention of this nonexistent baby. It made her cringe. “I’ll be okay,” she insisted, though her body tried to prove otherwise.
“I know,” he cooed.
When she sat back, finally sure that there was nothing left to expel, Lex handed her a fresh washcloth and stood. He reached for her hands and she was thankful for the help. Standing at the sink, her body shivered despite her efforts to stop it. She was exhausted. Once she finished brushing her teeth, Lex surprised her by scooping her up in his arms and carrying her from the bathroom. She tensed, unsure what his intentions were.
“I think it would be best if I allowed you to sleep undisturbed tonight,” he explained stepping just across the hall to the guest bedroom. “There will be fewer steps for you to take should you need to return.”
She breathed a sigh of relief as he lay her on the bed and helped her under the covers as if he were tucking a child into bed. His thoughtfulness astounded her, and she was grateful.
“Thank you,” she said as she reached to squeeze his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Nonsense.” He leaned closer and caressed her cheek with his hand. “Sleep well, my darling.” he said before gently pressing his lips to hers.
She smiled weakly as he left the room and, as soon as the door closed behind him, dropped her head back with an exasperated sigh.
This. This pretending. This conflict of emotions. All of this was hard.
***
Clark lay sprawled face down on the bed, feet and hands dangling over edges, contemplating the misery that was his existence. If he were going to be completely honest with himself, everything that had happened was a direct result of his own deficiencies.
He was gullible, believing things that would have been obviously false to anyone else. He was stubborn, failing to listen to reason when the accuracy of his information was brought into question. He was thoughtless in his core to be able to hurt someone unconsciously. He was an irresponsible, unreliable reporter that could be outdone by a middle school student. He was careless and inattentive, destroying things around him.
And to top it all off, this afternoon his ineptness led him to the wrong house when he tried to find Lana. He must have written the address down incorrectly. He couldn’t even do
that correctly.
The snickers and raised eyebrows of the numerous people in that house, gathered for some kind of party he wasn’t invited to, still grated on his nerves in his mind.
Can he do anything right?
Nope.
He couldn’t even fall asleep to end this disastrous day. He began counting … all the ways he was failure … one… two… three… four…
***
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