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A little early, I know. I was trying to wait until 12:01 April 1 my time, but I have houseguests and I may not make it on to do that.

Enjoy!


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Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

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*snort* Oh my gosh that was perfect! I thought it was a dream at first, but then it kept going and going and going rotflol

And twins! clap Hahaha so great! Kudos!


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LOL! That was hilarious and disturbing. Lol


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Hi Vicki!
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Summary: First, Clark feared he would never become a father. Then, once Lois became pregnant, his fears took a whole new turn.
Little one’s got paired chromosomes and Daddy’s realized that all men are scum?

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Lois would just lay eggs but she’d only have to be pregnant one time and have 17 kids.
shock There’s a story about an egg on the dark side.

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Lois Lane lit up his life.
She’s a firecracker, isn’t she?

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She made each day worth living for, gave him a purpose,
‘Rescue Lois’ is quite a noble purpose.

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and grounded him in ways he couldn’t even properly describe.
LOIS: You’re the before. The way way before.

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wondering what it would be like to experience all the things normal men got to experience.
To be fair, it was *his* choice to live the life of a monk.

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Sure, he’d always had his parents, but the love of his mother and father paled in comparison to the love he shared with Lois.
We sure hope so, otherwise, *awkward*!

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She was his heart and soul, his life and his home, his dreams and his reality.
So, her getting shot, drowned, hanged, poisoned, blown up, or any of the other fun things that she’s in constant danger of happening to her would be a bad thing.
CLARK: [Linked Image]
I’ll take that as a ‘yes’, then.

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Clark still felt weird about having to isolate himself inside of that little room to provide a sample of his DNA.
Yes, I can see that. It must be so awkward, considering he’s used to doing this in the center of the townsquare in Smallville at mid day.

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But having Dr. Klein know what he was doing in that room had been humiliating. Especially since he was Superman – someone who most people would never think of as having the same urges and needs as a normal person.
He *could* have asked for instructions and possibly, some assistance, given his lack of knowledge in such matters. I’m sure, most of the female staff and some of the male staff would have been happy to provide said assistance to the poor super hero.

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that it could have been too early to detect a fetal heartbeat.
No kiddin’!

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Lois had agreed that a test was in order. Three minutes later, she’d emerged from the bathroom with a look on her face that would remain with Clark for the rest of his life.
So, Jimmy’s finally going to be a Daddy, huh?

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“Tomorrow?” Clark stopped in his tracks, his face clearly showing his disappointment. “That’s an entire day away!”
Yes. And Game of Thrones Season Eight is *14* days away. And Love and Capes Volume 5 is 3 to 4 *months* away. /glares/ Your point being…?

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She shook her head, amused by his inability to wait. “It’s just one more day. It won’t kill you,” she teased him, toying with his tie.

Clark rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Yeah, sure it won’t.”
Given their track record, they should be more careful with such remarks.

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“Heavenly,” Lois replied, a look of bliss on her face as she appeared to recall those wonderful, stress-free days without having to track down criminals or uncover scandals.
So, they have been to a place with exotic food and a reputation for germ-infested water that causes all sorts of stomach trouble and yet, their first instinct is ‘Lois is pregnant’? Also, wouldn’t it be awkward, if the false positive itself also were a side effect of her trip to Mexico?

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Jimmy was busy pulling the blinds in the room, to obscure them from their co-workers’ curious gazes. Only when there was no way anyone could eavesdrop on them did the man turn around and hand Clark the paper he held.

Clark unfolded the paper. “The Dirt Digger?” he scoffed. “Really?”
No wonder he didn’t want to show them the paper in the middle of the newsroom.

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SUPERMAN SEEKS MATE TO IMPREGNATE! PLANS TO BUILD ARMY OF ALIEN CHILDREN!
rotflol

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Did…did Superman really have fertility testing done?”
He wanted to know how careful he had to be with his professional caregivers and to prevent further false-claim paternity suits.

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“Well, we haven’t gotten any word that…”
The Dirt Digger building collapsed due to undiscovered structural deficits.
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Lois peered closer at the Op Ed to read the author’s name, “Fred Walters is dead so…I’m going with ‘no’ on that.”
rotflol

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Jimmy paled. “You think Superman would…mess this guy up?” He swallowed hard in fear.
Wait, did Jimmy…?

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Clark shook his head, choosing his words carefully. “Kill, no. Teach him a lesson about the dangers of printing such libelous things…probably.”
Make the guy drown in his own debt?

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“You don’t think it’s at least a little funny?” Jimmy asked. “I mean, really. Superman causing women to…lay clutches of little Kryptonian baby eggs?” He scoffed. “Sounds like a really bad sci-fi movie to me.”
Yep, he definitely wrote that. Maybe it’s not even the real Digger? Nah, given his financial woes, he probably hacked something together and sold it under a fake byline.

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But the image of Lois laying in a hospital bed pushing out egg after egg played more like a horror movie in Clark’s mind.
You mean, like a drug mule who transports cocaine across the border inside plastic bags hidden at strategic places?

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“I’ll see what I can do, CK,” Jimmy assured him. “It could take me a few days though. The Chief just laid a whole bunch of stuff on my plate this morning, and all of it way more urgent.”
Yep, so Jimmy.

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“I was thinking of maybe having a little chat with him. See if I can’t persuade him to print a retraction,” he admitted in halting tones.
Like the ‘chat’ he had with Dillinger?

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“He did,” Lois asserted. “I’m sure of it.”
Lois is in on it. *Why* is Lois in on it? Except for this getting printed right at the end of March.

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“Clark, no one in their right mind reads that rag,” she said dismissively,
I don’t know. The Dirt Digger doesn’t sell about a million copies in Metropolis alone just to line bird cages and wrap fish in.

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She laughed a little and patted his cheek affectionately. “Don’t worry, Clark. I promise, this whole thing will blow over without much of public reaction.”
Yeah, it’s a fake Dirt Digger and Lois hopes Clark will never find out that no one else knows. At least, till she calls April’s Fool on him.

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“No more lies,” he’d sworn to her, once she’d learned that he was Superman. There was no way he was ever going to break that promise, not when he knew how lucky he was that she’d given him a second chance when his lies about Superman had come to light.
Had he lied to her to get such payback?

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“Okay, Mrs. Kent, let’s take a peek at that baby of yours,” the friendly ultrasound technician said with a huge, welcoming smile Clark knew had been perfected to set her patients at ease.

“I can’t wait,” Lois said, beaming with joy and pride at the child she was carrying. Her hand protectively caressed the small bump of her stomach.
Oh dear. And now Clark knows and talked with the doc to show her an image of one dozen eggs inside her tummy.

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Her hand protectively caressed the small bump of her stomach.

Clark took a double take. When had Lois’ pregnancy begun to show, even as slight and easy-to-miss as it was?
Whowzzers, I missed that.

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“It almost looks like…” the tech began, shaking her head, making her amber hair bounce a little with the movement.
Eggs. Wait, did *Batman* have something to do with this?

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“Resting and recovering,” the doctor said, putting a gentle, friendly hand on Clark’s shoulder. “Come. Follow me so we can talk in private.”
Telling her how his wife was obviously doing Superman on the side?

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They look almost…alien in nature, if I didn’t know better.”
[Linked Image]

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The doctor shook his head helplessly. “We can’t be sure of anything right now. May I ask a personal question? Your wife. She’s…close with Superman, isn’t she?” the doctor steamrolled through, without waiting for Clark’s permission to ask such an intimate question.
Told ya!

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“Well…” The doctor blushed and scratched the side of his neck. “If she and he…”

“No.” Clark’s voice was like a piece of granite falling from a cliffside to strike the hard-packed earth beneath. “My wife doesn’t cheat.”
Oh boy. So, Superman didn’t require her consent? *That’s* going to go over well with the yellow press.

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“Yes?” the man asked calmly.

“The eggs! They’re hatching!”
Oh boy. Probably should take a step back. Or two. Or threw. Best put a glass wall between them and the eggs. Also, I’m thinking Clark’s dreaming. I’m just not sure if Jimmy’s article is part of the dream or the trigger.

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humanoid child emerged, squalling and red faced from the struggle of breaking through the egg’s thick shell.
That’s interesting. It also proves that Kryptonian’s are truly blessed with an extremely dense skull. Sadly, their brains are just the size of peanuts.
LOIS: Explains a lot.

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He’d never been opposed to having a large family, but seventeen was a bit more than he’d bargained for, and he’d certainly never anticipated more than one at a time.
That’s why Kryptonians developed super speed. It’s so they can keep up with their litter.

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I won’t have time to make rescues anymore. Not with extra jobs for the income we’re going to need. Oh, God, how much extra income will we need?
Or, you know, he could do one or two treasure dives in the Caribbean. 4-5 tons of gold should be wildly sufficient to raise that litter.

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You’re all more than worth the logistical issues. For now, we need to focus on naming you all.
Like he’s going to be able to tell them apart anyway. Four names should be sufficient amongst them all wink

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The woman took the swaddled newborn from him and placed her in her crib. Then she handed him a thick stack of papers. He gave her a confused look as he warily took them.

“What’s all this?”

“Your bill, sir.”
laugh

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As Clark fell out of his chair in his dream, he rolled right out of bed in real life.
See? Told ya! Also, Duh! One day till the ultrasound. One night, too! Also, nice mirror to the octoplets of Lois’s dream.

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Lois blinked in surprise. “Wow. Was there ever a time I wasn’t pregnant in your dream?” she joked.
laugh /is reminded of Olympe’s Just Like Lois/

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Instead of finding a gaggle of bunk beds waiting for little bodies to occupy them, in the center of the room was one giant, circular nest with a random assortment of fleece blankets mounded up in the middle for each child to snuggle under. A scream of horror bubbled up in his throat…
laugh Also, he *did * want some extra help, didn’t he?

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“Seven…but…”

“It’s just like my nightmare,” Clark said, torn between lamenting the fact that his dream had been prophetic in a way and just being thankful to have a family at all. He realized his hands were shaking, so he put the basket down, lest he drop his precious family.
At first I thought he’d fallen asleep again. But you mentioned he’s gotten two dozen eggs and the fridge. And they’re colored pink and blue, which is way too convenient. That minx is tricking him.

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“Of course not,” she told him, as his eyes swept down to the grainy black and white images she’d placed before him. “It’s twins.”
laugh

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As Clark’s mind registered the two gestational sacs in the photos, he promptly passed out.
rotflol

Oh boy. No wonder you wanted to do the entire piece in one sitting clap

wave Michael


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Hilarious wink

Last edited by LadyTpower; 03/31/19 06:05 PM.

* once a Lois and Clark fan, always a Lois and Clark fan *
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Originally Posted by Mouserocks
*snort* Oh my gosh that was perfect! I thought it was a dream at first, but then it kept going and going and going rotflol

And twins! clap Hahaha so great! Kudos!

Thanks, Mouse! Glad I could give you a laugh! And I hope it's a worthy follow up to Moving The Body!

(Poor Clark probably thought he was safe from the promised revenge all this time...)


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

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Originally Posted by jackiek
LOL! That was hilarious and disturbing. Lol

Thank you! Glad I could give you a chuckle - but you can blame all the disturbing stuff on Dean! This idea *never* would have crossed my mind if not for his NYCC remarks about Kryptonian babies. laugh


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

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Hi, Michael! wave

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Little one’s got paired chromosomes and Daddy’s realized that all men are scum?


Clark: I've built her a Fortress of Solitude in the Arctic for her to live in until she's 40.

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There’s a story about an egg on the dark side.

I'm scared. peep

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She’s a firecracker, isn’t she?


Lois: (glares at Clark) Don't you *dare* make an explosion comment.

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‘Rescue Lois’ is quite a noble purpose.

Clark: That's just my hobby. (shrug)

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LOIS: You’re the before. The way way before.

Crit Strike! -9000 Ego Damage Taken!

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To be fair, it was *his* choice to live the life of a monk.

Lois: Can he take a vow of silence too? You wouldn't believe how much he can talk sometimes.

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We sure hope so, otherwise, *awkward*!

Are those banjos I hear?

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Yes, I can see that. It must be so awkward, considering he’s used to doing this in the center of the townsquare in Smallville at mid day.

Lois: I don't want to hear about his weird...habits.

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He *could* have asked for instructions and possibly, some assistance, given his lack of knowledge in such matters. I’m sure, most of the female staff and some of the male staff would have been happy to provide said assistance to the poor super hero.

He's Gaston and Bernie is LaFou?

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Yes. And Game of Thrones Season Eight is *14* days away. And Love and Capes Volume 5 is 3 to 4 *months* away. /glares/ Your point being…?

(Nods)

Ah, Clark, my dear sweet summer child. You know nothing. GoT began in 1996 and we *still* have no written conclusion.

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So, they have been to a place with exotic food and a reputation for germ-infested water that causes all sorts of stomach trouble and yet, their first instinct is ‘Lois is pregnant’? Also, wouldn’t it be awkward, if the false positive itself also were a side effect of her trip to Mexico?

Unless they are injecting HCG into the water supply, a false positive is pretty much impossible. I did *all* the research when I was 5 days post frozen IVF transfer and dying to test. goofy

Then again, could be some super villain down there messing with people.

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He wanted to know how careful he had to be with his professional caregivers and to prevent further false-claim paternity suits.


Clark: But Ching *said* it was *normal* and *expected* of me as their king!

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Wait, did Jimmy…?

Jimmy: (rocks on his feet, whistles innocently)

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Make the guy drown in his own debt?

(Murray Brown appears as though by magic) Did someone say "lawsuit?"

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Yep, he definitely wrote that. Maybe it’s not even the real Digger? Nah, given his financial woes, he probably hacked something together and sold it under a fake byline.

Jimmy: Wait, you're saying Lois should have *paid* me for this?

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You mean, like a drug mule who transports cocaine across the border inside plastic bags hidden at strategic places?

If one breaks inside, will it kill her the same as the drugs?

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Like the ‘chat’ he had with Dillinger?

Clark: devilsplat

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Lois is in on it. *Why* is Lois in on it? Except for this getting printed right at the end of March.


Lois: Because...evil.

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Had he lied to her to get such payback?

Um, kinda. Sequel to Moving The Body so...he faked a murder for her to investigate.

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Telling her how his wife was obviously doing Superman on the side?

Clark: Why is security here for this talk...?

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Oh boy. So, Superman didn’t require her consent? *That’s* going to go over well with the yellow press.

Lois: (pats Clark's cheek) Who said I said no?

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That’s why Kryptonians developed super speed. It’s so they can keep up with their litter.

If only this applied to humans as well! (is permanently exhausted) devil

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Or, you know, he could do one or two treasure dives in the Caribbean. 4-5 tons of gold should be wildly sufficient to raise that litter.


Better make it 6-7 - at least SOME of the kids will require weddings. And jail bonds, if they take after Lois.

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Like he’s going to be able to tell them apart anyway. Four names should be sufficient amongst them all

He'll pull a George Foreman and just call them all Clark. Even the girls.

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At first I thought he’d fallen asleep again. But you mentioned he’s gotten two dozen eggs and the fridge. And they’re colored pink and blue, which is way too convenient. That minx is tricking him.

Lois: I plead the 5th.

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Oh boy. No wonder you wanted to do the entire piece in one sitting

Thanks for reading! As always, I may have laughed harder at your feedback than I did while writing this! smile


Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

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Originally Posted by LadyTpower
Hilarious wink

Haha, thank you! smile


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"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

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I'm almost sad it turned out to be a joke. wink


"Oh my gosh! Authors really do use particular words on purpose!" ~Me, when I started writing a book.
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Originally Posted by JellyS2
I'm almost sad it turned out to be a joke. wink

Hahaha! I'm sure Lois and Clark are both thrilled it's "only" two!

For the rest of us, however, that would be hilarious. laugh


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Good one, oh wow, you had me going for a while! Sweet little gem of a story clap !

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Originally Posted by Superjan
Good one, oh wow, you had me going for a while! Sweet little gem of a story clap !

Haha, thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it!


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What a great Story! I laughed out loud more times than I could Count.
Oh that Dirt digger is always good for Trouble! Kryptonians with eggs! What an idea!
And although you made a Spoiler for the ending, it came totally unexpected - yeah, poor Clark, he should know better than to make Lois angry :-)
But I'm a bit sad that the dream turned out as one so quickly, although it's the Logical Thing to make it all a dream, you made me thinking about a lot of weird things.
How would Clark live his life with 17 children all at once? Plus, I think, the secret is out now - at least the whole Hospital stuff knows now that CK = SM.
But I'm sure with all the complictions, Clark would love all his children and wouldn't give away only one of them.
And what will they do when they are adults? Will they all become Little supermen and superwomen?
At least we would know how L&C's cescendants could found Utopia - I mean, with 17 supes around the world, it woulld be much easier...
And I wonder what happened to Kal-Els various siblings. Hmm, perhaps Jor and Lara send them to different planets, everyone with the News that he/she is the last Kryptonian in order to make sure they they aren't sad if they never meet one of their Brothers/sisters? What if Clark realizes this and would search them perhaps with the help of the NewKryps? They always wanted an El as ruler? And what will Earth think about the suddenly appeared Supergroup twenty years or so in the future?
You see, you have inspired by brain to think about weird thinks... I read this yesterday evening and, however, was asked by my flatmates during dinner why I can't put away that grin from my face the whole time... You made my day! Great Job!


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Originally Posted by BlindPassenger
What a great Story! I laughed out loud more times than I could Count.
Oh that Dirt digger is always good for Trouble! Kryptonians with eggs! What an idea!
And although you made a Spoiler for the ending, it came totally unexpected - yeah, poor Clark, he should know better than to make Lois angry :-)
But I'm a bit sad that the dream turned out as one so quickly, although it's the Logical Thing to make it all a dream, you made me thinking about a lot of weird things.
How would Clark live his life with 17 children all at once? Plus, I think, the secret is out now - at least the whole Hospital stuff knows now that CK = SM.
But I'm sure with all the complictions, Clark would love all his children and wouldn't give away only one of them.
And what will they do when they are adults? Will they all become Little supermen and superwomen?
At least we would know how L&C's cescendants could found Utopia - I mean, with 17 supes around the world, it woulld be much easier...
And I wonder what happened to Kal-Els various siblings. Hmm, perhaps Jor and Lara send them to different planets, everyone with the News that he/she is the last Kryptonian in order to make sure they they aren't sad if they never meet one of their Brothers/sisters? What if Clark realizes this and would search them perhaps with the help of the NewKryps? They always wanted an El as ruler? And what will Earth think about the suddenly appeared Supergroup twenty years or so in the future?
You see, you have inspired by brain to think about weird thinks... I read this yesterday evening and, however, was asked by my flatmates during dinner why I can't put away that grin from my face the whole time... You made my day! Great Job!

Thanks so much! Some interesting scenarios your mind concocted! Of course, Clark is Clark, so he'd find a way to provide for and love all of his children, as well as guide them all through the emergence of their powers. Tempus might keel over and die with all those Kryptonians flying around in the future though!

Brothers and sisters for Clark would be interesting to see. Or maybe the 17 eggs/having litters at a time thing is the result of him being under a yellow sun.


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Yellow sun super eggs? Interesting thought... And yes, Tempus would be crazy! Or he could be responsible for the many eggs, perhaps with a really evil plan that Lois will die in the hospital due to the lots of eggs inside her - only to be confronted with so many super-beings. Wouldn't that be an evil irony for our favourite time-traveler? :-)


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Quote
She didn’t answer right away, choosing, instead to cross the room, the photos in her hand. Setting the print outs on the table before Clark, she smiled in a way that he wasn’t sure he liked.

“Of course not,” she told him, as his eyes swept down to the grainy black and white images she’d placed before him. “It’s twins.”

As Clark’s mind registered the two gestational sacs in the photos, he promptly passed out.

The Man of Steel passed out? shock Well, no one can blame him, after lack of sleep and two nightmares that were really scary, if he didn't he wouldn't be ... human.

Nice to have Jimmy in on the secret, it makes perfect sense. Now, its time to ask Perry if he knows what one of his ace reporter's other job is?


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Originally Posted by Morgana
Quote
She didn’t answer right away, choosing, instead to cross the room, the photos in her hand. Setting the print outs on the table before Clark, she smiled in a way that he wasn’t sure he liked.

“Of course not,” she told him, as his eyes swept down to the grainy black and white images she’d placed before him. “It’s twins.”

As Clark’s mind registered the two gestational sacs in the photos, he promptly passed out.

The Man of Steel passed out? shock Well, no one can blame him, after lack of sleep and two nightmares that were really scary, if he didn't he wouldn't be ... human.

Nice to have Jimmy in on the secret, it makes perfect sense. Now, its time to ask Perry if he knows what one of his ace reporter's other job is?

Haha, any man might pass out if his dream sequence turned out (partially) true! wink

I do love the idea of Jimmy being in on the secret, and then keeping it a secret in turn. Of course, now his cover is blown and he won't be able to pull the wool over Clark's eyes so easily again. And yes, I've always believed that Perry knew about Clark. There's no way he didn't know, not with all those little nods and lines he would throw Clark's way.

Thanks for reading!


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Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,947
Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,947
Likes: 28
Hi Vicki!
Kinda late with the FDK-FDK-FDK but sadly, time got away from me blush
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Clark: I've built her a Fortress of Solitude in the Arctic for her to live in until she's 40.
That could make a fun vignette when Clark finds his 17-ish y/o daughter with a boy in her room when he gets home from a late rescue and her mother out getting kidnap- erm, I mean on a stakeout.

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Crit Strike! -9000 Ego Damage Taken!
clap Needs to go and find a blonde to date, ASAP.

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Ah, Clark, my dear sweet summer child. You know nothing. GoT began in 1996 and we *still* have no written conclusion.
Yes. But now we know the broad strokes. And that GRRM also stole from Babylon 5. Just like DS9 did.

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Clark: But Ching *said* it was *normal* and *expected* of me as their king!
clap
LOIS: [Linked Image]

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Thanks for reading! As always, I may have laughed harder at your feedback than I did while writing this!
You’re welcome!

wave Michael


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

I go by Michael on the Archives.
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142
Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
OP Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142
Likes: 2
Hi again, Michael! wave

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That could make a fun vignette when Clark finds his 17-ish y/o daughter with a boy in her room when he gets home from a late rescue and her mother out getting kidnap- erm, I mean on a stakeout.

Clark: Ashes to ashes and dust to dust... *eyes start to glow red*

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Needs to go and find a blonde to date, ASAP.

*Mayson's ears perk up like a hound*

Gregor: Dumb girl.

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Yes. But now we know the broad strokes. And that GRRM also stole from Babylon 5. Just like DS9 did.

Thank goodness for that at least. After another author finishes the books for GRRM after he dies leaving them still not completed, they'll have something to go on. goofy



Battle On,
Deadly Chakram

"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent

"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon

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