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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
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Comments go here. I was planning on posting this yesterday, but then I went out with some friends, and Southern Comfort/Coca-Cola do not make the best editing partners. Even if they do make me an excellent rapper (or so I may think). And I know, I know, you all wanted to hear what Bernie had to say. But come on, I've still got a few chapters to go. Bernie will be back.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
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Delightful part. And so looking forward to the clash between Linda and Lois at the ball.
I do hope Clark can get Lex's attention by speaking to him in a couple of other languages before Lois can do her never return my calls line.
Framework4
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,662 Likes: 10 |
Clark sat there staring at the clock, tapping his foot nervously, begging for time to move faster. In the back of his mind, his mother’s voice echoed that a watched pot never boiled… but he’d literally never seen the second hand tick by so slowly. He huffed and ran a hand over his face. He’d hardly gotten any sleep last night, but he was wired already. He’d forced himself to stay in bed until the sunrise, but it was still too early to go into the Star. I could be wrong, but is Clark just a wee bit anxious to get this day started?
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
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Aww love how excited Clark is to get the day started. Seems like Linda and Lois have a lot in common. I know he and Lois have plans for the weekend but I’m hoping they will both be attending Lex’s Ball tonight.
Last edited by jackiek; 04/27/18 08:10 AM.
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me. Lois: All my life.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Delightful part. And so looking forward to the clash between Linda and Lois at the ball. Oh yes. Clashes are coming. I do hope Clark can get Lex's attention by speaking to him in a couple of other languages before Lois can do her never return my calls line. Hahaha, I wish I could have worked that in there. I might still see if there's a way to adapt it... Great idea though!
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
I could be wrong, but is Clark just a wee bit anxious to get this day started? Just a little bit
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Aww love how excited Clark is to get the day started. Seems like Linda and Lois have a lot of common. I love nervous Clark. Also yes , I always got the sense that Lois and Linda were actually very similar personalities. They both had strong opinions, at the top of their game, just Linda might have been a little... friendlier. Still, there are some differences. I know he and Lois have plans for the weekend but I’m hoping they will both be attending Lex’s Ball tonight. Oh, I'd bet on it. I'm hoping to get the next chapter up in a day or two.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 332 Likes: 1 |
Clark should have known that Havana would be drawn to the shiny ball. What kid wouldn't want to play with that, especially in a boring room? Now she knows about Krypton. I'm looking forward to the next part.
"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
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Columnist
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Columnist
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“You are going to be shadowing Ms. King for a week or so, until you get your bearings.” Clark looked up at his boss in surprise but nodded along. “So she’s going to show you around the office this morning, get you situated, but your main project for today isn’t until tonight. Lex Luthor’s White Orchid Ball.” Oh, boy. I can't imagine that Lois will be pleased that Clark is working for the Star in the first place, never mind working with Linda directly. Clark shook her hand firmly with a grin. “Clark Kent. Society. Graduated University of Kansas. I’m just starting out in the field, and I’ve recently become a father.” That's ... not quite the introduction I think he should have made in a professional context, especially given his tenuous situation with said child and baby-momma. But it shows how much Havana and Lois are on his mind constantly. "And I’m also guessing that you don’t really have a tuxedo, do you?”
He gaped at her. “How did you--?”
“Kansas boy? Come on. You can’t fool a Metropolis native.”
He shut his mouth, a little miffed and a little impressed. “I’ll get one by tonight, I promise.” Psst! Clark, she didn't know. She guessed because she's stereotyping you as a rube hick from the sticks. “And then what happened?”
She giggled again, eyes crinkled from her grin. “Juice went all over!”
Clark laughed at the unexpected ending, thinking she must have missed something in the middle, but it was somehow better this way. I get the distinct feeling that you have talked to actual toddlers. Sometimes people write kids, toddlers especially, and I get the sense that they have never actually interacted with a kid because the behavior is weirdly off or not age-appropriate. Havana talks and acts like an actual two-year-old. With Lois holding all the cards, as it were, and Clark falling all over himself apologizing to her and feeling guilty, I started to feel like she was blaming him completely for their situation and wasn't really giving him a chance, when of course if she just got to know him, she'd realize that he's basically the perfect guy. But then I realized how much slack she's actually giving him. Going to yet one more doctor after everything she's been through, just to extend an olive branch to a guy who she met for one night three years prior and knows basically nothing about her medical history, is pretty significant. And letting him see Havana again so readily is pretty significant. Clark is basically a stranger, and she's right to be cautious. As a reader, though, I see both sides, and I already know a lot about Clark to be able to root for him. I've been sympathizing with him this entire time, but when Lois showed up at Bernie's lab and mentioned how many doctors she's seen, it hit me that it's not really fair to just take Clark's side. She's really stuck between a rock and a hard place, and on top of everything else, she feels like she's on a deadline to vet Clark and determine whether he's good enough to take care of Havana when she's gone. There's an incredible amount of pressure for her to accept Clark. So... yeah. I guess this story has got me being introspective. “Kr… Kiptawn.”
He shot his gaze to his daughter with a pull in his chest. “What?”
She looked at him, a little puzzled. “Kipton?” Uh... woops? Definitely Clark's daughter. “Clark,” Lois’ voice cut in seriously. “Did you tell her about Krypton?”
“No! Well, kinda… She found my globe and heard the name and--”
“You do realize she repeats everything, right? She's practically a parrot.” Yeah, that sounds like a 2-year-old. When my son started repeating everything we said, occasionally my husband would swear around him. One time he yelled, "Soccer ball!!!" immediately after swearing to divert my son's attention, and it worked. After that, any time anyone would swear around my kids my husband would say, "Soccer ball!" loudly to either catch himself or remind whoever it was to watch their mouth. It's become something of a running joke. “Well… no, I didn't realize. But it's not like the word means anything to her or anyone else. They'll just think she's precocious and interested in the Noble Gasses... Just teach her xenon and argon, and you're good. Clark smiled over at the girl as Bernie cleared his throat uncomfortably beside him. “Not that kind of sample,” he muttered. So... Bernie has a theory already. My current theory is that there is something extremely addictive in Clark's :ahem: fluids (possibly only addictive to someone with a certain set of genes so that it wouldn't necessarily work on everyone) and that Lois has been going through withdrawal for years. It's kind of a romanticized theory, and the real-world implications are actually kind of horrific, so maybe that's not it. Hm... maybe I should come up with something else that doesn't force them together. I think Lois would be much more receptive to dating Clark if it wasn't a life-or-death situation. Maybe she just caught some Kryptonian bacteria or something and will have to be periodically detoxed with Kryptonite. (Periodically assuming that they actually get together.) (Which I feel pretty comfortable assuming.) (Given the context of this forum.) ( )
"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 106 Likes: 2 |
Finished reading chapters 1-8 and wanted you to know how much I love this story! Noticed that you haven't posted on it for almost a month. Really itching to read the next chapter soon!
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
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Me too! Missing this story!
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me. Lois: All my life.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Thanks! Sorry about the commenting delay, but I'm jumping back into Havana, and should be posting chapter 9 soon ish.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Clark should have known that Havana would be drawn to the shiny ball. What kid wouldn't want to play with that, especially in a boring room? Now she knows about Krypton. Lol! Yep! I couldn't resist. Part of me wanted her to drop it or bounce it, but I thought that would be too mean. The knowledge about Krypton will probably play out later. I'm looking forward to the next part. Thanks! Coming soon!
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
MrsMxy!!! Long time no see! Glad to see you back and all over the boards! Playing catch up with commenting... So I'm just gonna say thanks for all your fdk on the previous parts and jump ahead here. Oh, boy. I can't imagine that Lois will be pleased that Clark is working for the Star in the first place, never mind working with Linda directly. How'd you guess? That's ... not quite the introduction I think he should have made in a professional context, especially given his tenuous situation with said child and baby-momma. But it shows how much Havana and Lois are on his mind constantly. Yeah, I agree with you there. You hit the mark though: I only threw it in there to show how excited Clark is to be a father and tell people about it. Also because he probably didn't expect Linda and Lois to know each other... Psst! Clark, she didn't know. She guessed because she's stereotyping you as a rube hick from the sticks. LINDA: I would never! LOIS, throwing rocks: You so would. Also, he's *my* hick. I get the distinct feeling that you have talked to actual toddlers. Sometimes people write kids, toddlers especially, and I get the sense that they have never actually interacted with a kid because the behavior is weirdly off or not age-appropriate. Havana talks and acts like an actual two-year-old. Phew! Thank you. You don't know how much of a compliment that is. I don't have a lot of little ones in my family right now (although I'm going to be an auntie soon!), but I do interact with a lot of kids through my work. Two-year-olds are hard to gauge because they can hold conversations but it's hard to strike that right balance without making them sound like robots or babies. With Lois holding all the cards, as it were, and Clark falling all over himself apologizing to her and feeling guilty, I started to feel like she was blaming him completely for their situation and wasn't really giving him a chance, when of course if she just got to know him, she'd realize that he's basically the perfect guy. But then I realized how much slack she's actually giving him. Going to yet one more doctor after everything she's been through, just to extend an olive branch to a guy who she met for one night three years prior and knows basically nothing about her medical history, is pretty significant. I'm glad you see from both sides. I'm trying to keep from painting Lois as too paranoid, but realistically, she would be. And letting him see Havana again so readily is pretty significant. Clark is basically a stranger, and she's right to be cautious. As a reader, though, I see both sides, and I already know a lot about Clark to be able to root for him. I've been sympathizing with him this entire time, but when Lois showed up at Bernie's lab and mentioned how many doctors she's seen, it hit me that it's not really fair to just take Clark's side. She's really stuck between a rock and a hard place, and on top of everything else, she feels like she's on a deadline to vet Clark and determine whether he's good enough to take care of Havana when she's gone. There's an incredible amount of pressure for her to accept Clark.
So... yeah. I guess this story has got me being introspective. Thanks! Always the goal to be thought-provoking. I'm going to be getting into the childcare thing more in a chapter or so, but especially given Lois' situation, the pressure is on for her to approve of Clark. She does everything she can for her daughter herself, and Lois has a support system, but when her choices are Lucy and Ellen and an absentee Sam... yeah. Tough call. Uh... woops? Definitely Clark's daughter. Yeah, that sounds like a 2-year-old. When my son started repeating everything we said, occasionally my husband would swear around him. One time he yelled, "Soccer ball!!!" immediately after swearing to divert my son's attention, and it worked. After that, any time anyone would swear around my kids my husband would say, "Soccer ball!" loudly to either catch himself or remind whoever it was to watch their mouth. It's become something of a running joke. That's fabulous. I might just kidnap that idea if it's cool with you. One of my friend's started saying "for the love of cats!" instead of "for *something's* sake" around his kids and now it's something he says all the time. They'll just think she's precocious and interested in the Noble Gasses... Just teach her xenon and argon, and you're good. She'll be the next genius kid on the Ellen show. So... Bernie has a theory already. My current theory is that there is something extremely addictive in Clark's :ahem: fluids (possibly only addictive to someone with a certain set of genes so that it wouldn't necessarily work on everyone) and that Lois has been going through withdrawal for years. It's kind of a romanticized theory, and the real-world implications are actually kind of horrific, so maybe that's not it. Hm... maybe I should come up with something else that doesn't force them together. I think Lois would be much more receptive to dating Clark if it wasn't a life-or-death situation. Lol! There's a lot to unpack there. Chapter 10 or 11 will go into the diagnosis. Although I will say your theory and the panicked theory Clark keeps running through his head are very similar. But... no. Nothing that's going to force any hot, attractive, dirty smut scenes... in spite of the author's predilections. Although if that were the case I suppose I should have titled this "Addicted to Love." Maybe she just caught some Kryptonian bacteria or something and will have to be periodically detoxed with Kryptonite. (Periodically assuming that they actually get together.) (Which I feel pretty comfortable assuming.) (Given the context of this forum.) ( ) *shrugs* Maybe. Thanks for the feedback! Next chapter to go up tonight hopefully.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Finished reading chapters 1-8 and wanted you to know how much I love this story! Noticed that you haven't posted on it for almost a month. Really itching to read the next chapter soon! A month? *checks calendar* Whoops! Sorry! I planned on getting into a steady posting schedule with OTLWD first since it's so freakin' long... but I seem to have let this drift away a bit. Never fear though, more is coming soon. I haven't abandoned this one by any means. I'm glad you love it so far!
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Me too! Missing this story! Okay, okay! I give! I will post it tonight! Pitchforks down people!
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702 |
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me. Lois: All my life.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179 |
I’m eagerly awaiting the next chapter… Love the relationship that is establishing between Clark and his daughter. Havana is a pearl and a pleasure to read. She really feels like a real little girl, down to every detail. Bravo, that’s not so easy to achieve in writing.
I must be a sadist, but I really want to see Linda’s and Lois’s meeting with poor Clark ensconced between them both. <evil grin>
Anyway, I’m smelling a rat.. err, I mean a Carpenter. (With Luthor, that means two rats.)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Yep, that was my reaction. Linda King and Lois Lane do not mix. Looking forward to Clark's confusion and bewilderment. r/ Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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