Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic All I Ask - Part 4/5

Previously:

“Can we… talk again soon?” The words were hesitant, and she could hear the unspoken sentiment in them. He wanted to make sure that they talked again before she answered Lex’s proposal.

Lois knew that she had to talk to Lex, but she also knew now that she couldn’t say yes to his proposal, even though she’d been considering it just this morning. She wasn’t quite sure what her next move was going to be by any means, but she did know one thing: “I’m not going to accept his proposal, Clark. I want you to know that. In the back of my mind, I always knew that it was too soon, anyway. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but what I do know is that I can’t say yes to him.”

He let out a breath. “Okay.” The word was heavy with relief, though she could tell he tried to mask it as best he could. “Just promise me we’ll talk more? And I mean, just talk… not anything else….” He gestured toward the kitchen before nervously running the same hand across the back of his neck.

“Okay.” She agreed quickly, not wanting to delve back into their conversation of what seemed to happen when they got close. “We will talk. Soon. I promise.”

He leaned around her and opened his front door. “Good night, Lois.”

“Good night, Clark,” she returned softly. She hesitated just a moment before she slipped quietly into the dark night, thankful for the rush of cool air that swept over her still-heated cheeks.

==========
And now, Part 4:

She didn’t really remember driving home; one moment she was opening the door to her Jeep where it was parked on Clinton Street and the next, she was opening the door to her darkened apartment on Carter Avenue. She was on autopilot, completing tasks by muscle memory, because her mind… well, her mind was certainly elsewhere. Namely, on the dark-haired man whose apartment she’d just left.

After securing the multitude of locks on her front door, Lois flicked on the light as she entered her bedroom. She peeled off the burgundy blouse and let it fall to the floor, followed closely by the jeans she’d been wearing. She kicked them out of the way, over toward her dresser. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Reaching for her pajamas seemed like a monumental task right now; all she wanted to do was fall into bed.

To say her head was spinning was an understatement. My, how things had changed in a few short hours. She’d left her apartment this afternoon intent on spending some time talking to Clark, maybe helping him see that they were better just as friends… only to discover in her time with him that they definitely were not just friends.

What had she been thinking, asking him to kiss her like that? She’d been asking for trouble, that’s what. She’d known what she was doing, and she’d done it anyway. In this case, flinging caution to the wind certainly had been … all-encompassing. Eye-opening. Mind-blowing. She pressed her fingertips of her left hand to her temple and sat down heavily on the bed, blowing out a breath as she did.

Because oh my goodness, what a kiss it had been. She groaned in frustration at the memory and flopped down the rest of the way, landing on her back against the soft comforter. She’d known going in that he was a good kisser – the honeymoon suite had proven that – and there’d been that part of her that really did want a repeat performance; alone, here in the stillness of her bedroom, she could admit that to herself.

But what she hadn’t been prepared for was just how loving and sensual and just this side of amazing kissing him would feel. Even now, there was this tiny little corner of her mind – apparently set free by that second devastatingly passionate kiss he’d given her – that wondered what it would be like to experience those kisses again right now… perhaps on the same soft, horizontal surface she was resting on at this very moment…

In her mind’s eye, she could see him above her, settling his body against hers just like he had earlier in the kitchen. She could see that same heated look in his eyes as he brought his mouth decisively down on hers. She could almost feel the softness of his lips, the weight of his body, the eagerness of his hands as they fluttered against her neck and across her shoulders and down her…

Lois sat straight up, her eyes flying open in surprise at the direction her thoughts had so readily taken. Her cheeks burned as she hastily tried to rid her mind of the image of the two of them entwined together on her bed. Good grief, she had never even thought about Lex that way, and he was the man whose proposal she was supposed to be considering! In fact, Lex had barely crossed her mind the whole time she’d been at Clark’s!

And really, a couple of kisses, and this is what happened? She’d spent the better part of a year repressing those kinds of thoughts about Clark, and now, with just two… or three… maybe it was four kisses… God, that last kiss seemed to have gone on forever. Her eyes slipped closed again and she was right back in his kitchen: that husky, affected voice he’d used as he caressed her cheek and her neck, describing in detail the way her body had reacted to him. And then when he’d shifted his hand down along the top of her chest, describing how quickly he could feel her heart beating… Lois had never known a longing that sharp. It had taken all her strength just to stay upright. In the end, she’d fallen forward at the same time he’d leaned down to take her mouth again…

Argh! She was doing it again. Lois shook her head, trying to clear those images. With just a few kisses, suddenly she couldn’t think of anything but them together?

She was in such trouble.

Hurriedly, she climbed off the bed and slipped into her pajamas. She ducked into the bathroom, trying to detour her thoughts to anything but Clark. She tried concentrating on getting ready for bed; that failed, however, when she was brushing her teeth and she ran her tongue over her front teeth, inadvertently brushed the underside of her top lip…

…and instantly recalled the way she’d shivered when he’d done that exact same thing. God, she wanted that kiss again.

Lois jammed the toothbrush back in the medicine cabinet and quickly turned her attention to washing her face… but that failed, too, the moment she splashed the water up and ran her hands over the soft skin of her cheeks. She sucked in a breath, immediately immersed in the memory of his hands cupping her face, his thumb stroking over her cheekbone. She’d melted at that touch. She wanted that again, too.

Quickly, she dried her face, rubbing it harshly with a towel as penance for her wandering mind, and returned to the bedroom.

This is insane, Lois thought as she climbed into bed. Two days ago, you could’ve said the name Clark Kent over and over until you were blue in the face, and she probably would’ve just smiled a bit at the thought of her partner and friend. But now? Now, just the whisper of his name sent pleasant shivers of awareness through her, and a whole colony of excited butterflies seemed to have taken up residence in her stomach at the mere thought of being in the same room as him. Even now, she longed for his company, though she’d left his apartment not even an hour ago.

It was crazy, sure, but at the same time, it felt… almost right. Like she’d been missing this whole huge piece of their relationship, and she’d finally found it. Put the pieces together. It was the same feeling she got when she finally discovered that last, vital piece of information that would break a story wide open. Excited. Nervous. Anticipating. Knowing that she was on the path to something big, something great. She recognized this feeling.

But knowing the feeling and know what to do with it were two different things, especially when it came to something as big as figuring out just what it was she felt for her partner.

Maybe a good night’s sleep would help. Yes, she would sleep on it. Maybe this would all make more sense in the morning.

She reached over to turn off the light on her nightstand. As she did so, her eyes fell on the notepad beside the lamp. There was a hastily written note on the corner. Frowning, she picked it up and skimmed the one-line note quickly, her mind trying to place when she’d written it.

When she did, her mouth fell open.

Lex. Tomorrow night. Dinner. In all the craziness of tonight, she’d all but forgotten about the phone call she’d received before she’d left for Clark’s apartment. Lex had called to check on how her first day at LNN had gone, and then she’d agreed to have dinner with him tomorrow evening at his penthouse.

What was she going to do now?

Should she cancel? It seemed almost too soon to go over and talk to him. She hadn’t really figured out what she was going to say to him beyond, “I’m sorry, I can’t marry you” and, let’s face it, leading with that statement had disaster written all over it.

But then again, Lois wasn’t the type to dawdle, especially when she’d made up her mind about something. Talking to Lex might help her figure out the exact nature of feelings for him. Her first instinct had been right; it was just too soon to think about getting married. But now that she knew for certain that she didn’t want to marry him right now… what about their relationship itself? Did she still have feelings for him? Was that possible, after what happened with Clark this evening?

She would go, she decided. She’d have dinner, talk to him, see where things went. See what her feelings were, see where they led. And then she’d decide what to do about Lex and what to do about Clark.

She felt better, having at least made one decision. She turned out the light and rolled over. When had her life become so very complicated?

Lois squeezed her eyes shut and willed sleep to come... but unfortunately, she had a feeling she’d be awake tonight for a very long time.

===========

Clark Kent was wide awake.

The sounds of the city outside reverberated around him; usually, they were comforting, in the same way that the sounds of the stillness in Smallville comforted him when he was growing up. But tonight, he couldn’t seem to fall asleep no matter how hard he tried. Thoughts of his evening with Lois kept rolling like a movie through his mind, the same scenes playing over and over: their dinner conversation, washing the dishes together, and then those amazing kisses that he still couldn’t believe had really happened. All afternoon, he’d been trying to imagine what the night might bring if she came over. He’d imagined a sweet, fun evening trying to soak in her presence as he lived in the now, not thinking about the future or her probably soon-to-be fiancé. He’d imagined the opposite, a heart-wrenching good-bye in which he’d left all his dreams about their future at her feet, knowing he would never love someone again the way he loved her.

But he’d never imagined passionately kissing her up against the counter in his kitchen, and he’d certainly never imagined that she’d be the one to both initiate the kiss and respond to him so ardently.

Clark groaned, flipping over onto his stomach and punching the pillow with one hand before laying back down. He remembered at the last minute to reign in his super strength; he’d lost more than one pillow that way. God, it had been a good kiss. Like, really good. Like, once-in-a-lifetime, storybook good, the kind that he’d thought only really existed on television shows and in movies. It had been better than any of the times he’d kissed her when they were undercover, better even than the times he’d kissed her as Superman. He’d thought that nothing would ever top those eager kisses, but he’d been wrong.

Tonight definitely had.

Maybe it was because this time, she’d known whom she’d been kissing; he’d asked for real, and real had blown his mind.

He’d known they had chemistry; that’s why he laughed when she’d mentioned that maybe kissing her would help him realize that they were better just being friends. That was just ridiculous.

He’d seen the way she’d looked at him over the course of the last year; granted, she’d hidden it pretty well, but there had been sidelong glances when she’d thought he hadn’t been paying attention. There’d been that one time, when they’d first met and she’d come to pick him up at his hotel room; he hadn’t been expecting her so early, and so he’d accidentally answered the door in a towel. Honestly, he’d thought that it was probably the guy across the hall who’d tried to bum a couple of bucks from him a few times since he’d checked in – it had never crossed his mind that it would have been Lois. Either way, he hadn’t missed her “I said nine, I thought you’d be naked,” slip, and he certainly hadn’t missed the way her eyes had perused a path down his body before he’d turned to leave the room to get changed.

And then secondly, there was the pheromone incident; after being sprayed, she’d immediately chosen him as the object of her affection. Sure, they’d come to find out that the pheromone had influenced her behavior, but the science behind it had been clear; it didn’t create attraction, just removed inhibitions.

So it wasn’t just him; there was clearly an attraction on both their parts.

However, he knew that attraction didn’t equal deeper feelings; just because she was attracted to him didn’t mean that she loved him the way he loved her. However, despite what she’d said in the park today, this evening had given him hope. Dinner had been perfect, and as the conversation had bounced from subject to subject, he’d realized that they never seemed to run out of things to say to each other. He always wanted to learn about her, and tonight, she’d seemed to have the same type of interest in him. They just connected on a level that was different than any other woman he’d ever met. It was, for lack of a better word, a spiritual connection – a kindred soul. And tonight, she’d seemed to finally see it, too. He’d noticed a few times throughout dinner that she’d been looking at him like she’d never seen him before; it was like she was finally taking note of him as a man, not just as the partner and friend she’d come to rely on.

He knew there was a very deeply vulnerable woman inside that tough as nails exterior she showed to everyone; he’d known it on an instinctive level ever since they’d met. And it seemed, little by little, those walls were coming down the longer they knew each other. The urge to protect her, both physically and emotionally, was stronger than ever.

There was still the matter of his alter ego; Clark knew that he’d have to deal with that sooner or later. Lois had said that she wasn’t going to marry Lex, but he still wasn’t sure what she was going to do about her relationship with the billionaire. Turning down a proposal didn’t necessarily equate to breaking up completely. He couldn’t risk telling her anything about his other guise until he was sure that Luthor was out of the picture. He didn’t think that Lois would say anything, but having the information was harmful enough. If Luthor figured out a way to extract that information from her, it would hurt everyone he loved: Lois, his parents, his friends, and himself.

So for now, Lois held all the cards, and he had to wait and see what she would decide. But at least now he’d tried everything; he’d laid out how he felt, had that date he’d always wanted, and it was up to her to decide what she felt.

Clark smiled just slightly in the darkness. At least now he felt like he had a little better chance than before, he mused, his mind replaying the softness of her lips, the hesitant but sweet brush of her tongue, the gentle curve of her body as she pressed into him. And she was the one who’d asked him to kiss her! Whatever she’d said in the park today, he was willing to bet his Superman tights that she hadn’t been telling him the whole truth.

He wished he could talk to her again; even if it was just to call her and say good night, he wanted to hear her voice. She hadn’t even left his apartment that long ago, and yet he already missed her.

Clark rolled back over to his back, glancing out his window. Maybe if he went on patrol right now, he’d stop by and…

No. That would just make things worse, bringing Superman back into the picture. He’d just gotten Lois to realize that maybe there was more to her relationship with her partner than she’d realized. Why would he sabotage his own efforts with the flashy superhero?

At that moment, Clark realized something important. No matter what happened from here on, he couldn’t keep distracting Lois by flying by her apartment late at night and dropping in for a little chat, no matter how badly he wanted to see her. If he wanted Clark Kent to have any real chance, he needed to start treating Lois more like a friend when he was in the cape, instead of encouraging her crush on Superman.

Decision made, he forced his eyes closed. He could do patient. He would give her a few days to think about things, and then he’d call her. She’d promised that they would talk, so he’d give her some time, and then he would call her. Maybe they could get together…. he’d love to cook for her again. Or, maybe he could take her to a fancy dinner this time, and then they could have dessert back at his apartment. Maybe she’d be in the mood for something intellectual; he’d love to take her to the new African art exhibit that had opened at the Metropolitan Visionary Arts Museum last week. Of course, there was a summer concert series starting on Friday nights in Centennial Park in two weeks; maybe they could take a picnic and listen to the music. He could picture them sitting on the blanket, Lois curled up in his arms as the sweet spring breeze brushed over them and the sun set over the big fountain in the middle of the park. He’d always loved that fountain; it was one of the first places in the city that’d he visited, and he’d always felt a special connection to it.

There were so many things he wanted to do with her, so many places he wanted to go. He wanted to share his life with her. She was the only person he could ever imagine being by his side. Hopefully, things would work out, and he would have an opportunity to do take her to some of those places.

A few minutes later, Clark dropped off to sleep, dreaming of his love and praying she was dreaming of him.

==========

That next evening, at precisely 7:25 p.m., Lois pulled up in front of Luthor Towers after a restless day spent wandering aimlessly around the city. She’d called into LNN early that morning and told them she wouldn’t be in today. She hadn’t given a specific reason, and they hadn’t asked; a perk, apparently, of dating the boss. It was just that she couldn’t go back there, not right now. Too many things were rolling around in her mind, and to be honest, she just didn’t have the energy today to pretend to be impressed.

But she hadn’t wanted to be in her apartment, either. Her first impulse had been to run to the one place she couldn’t go right now: Clark’s apartment. She knew he was home. And didn’t that say something in and of itself? She wanted comfort and a place to work through some things… and the first person she thought of was Clark?

After that, the Daily Planet was the only other place she’d thought to go… before she’d remembered that it wasn’t there anymore, either. Frustrated, she’d left without a specific destination in mind; she’d ended up wandering through the downtown Metropolis shopping district, walking around without buying anything. She’d hit the harbor and touristy spots along the river, though she didn’t really stop anywhere for too long. She’d bought lunch from a popular food truck and wandered into Centennial Park to eat it. She’d detoured around the bench she’d sat on with Clark yesterday, opting to eat perched on the edge of the giant fountain in the middle of the park. It was peaceful there, and so she’d stayed, listening to the soothing sounds of the water and finally feeling content for a moment.

She’d stayed until a check of her watch told her that she’d better get back to her apartment or she wasn’t going to have time to get ready for dinner. Feeling a little better but still weary, she’d made her way through the early evening rush hour traffic and back to her apartment to get ready.

She’d been slipping in one silver earring that matched her navy evening dress into her ear when she’d almost tripped over the jeans she’d worn the previous evening, still in a heap by her dresser. Only then had it occurred to her that she’d been so comfortable in her outfit going over to Clark’s; she’d felt casual but sexy. But tonight, she hadn’t even stopped to think before grabbing the fancy evening dress out of her closet for dinner at Lex’s penthouse. She wasn’t comfortable right now; she wasn’t dressed like Lois Lane. She was dressed like she was attending an expensive state dinner, like she was trying to impress someone.

The realization had left her unsettled.

Lois’s thoughts came to a halt as she did the same to her vehicle, noticing the valet waiting for her. She put the Jeep into park and stepped out as the young man held open her door. “Good evening, Ms. Lane.” He nodded to her as he took her place behind the wheel. “Mr. Luthor left instructions for you to meet him on the penthouse balcony. He awaits your arrival there. Have a good night.”

Lois nodded, and her stomach – which had been in knots anyway – pulled tighter at the words. She was not looking forward to this conversation. She doubted many people had ever said no to Lex Luthor. She tried to imagine how he would react, but she kept coming up blank. It made her realize how very little she really knew him.

On autopilot, she made her way into the building and took the elevator to the penthouse floor, punching in Lex’s private security code when prompted. Her legs felt wobbly as the elevator rose higher and higher. She turned her head, catching her reflection in the mirrored side of the elevator. For a moment, she just stared, wondering at the woman in the reflection. That woman didn’t look comfortable or excited; in fact, she was expressionless. She looked like an expensive doll, beautiful but lifeless.

Was that Lois Luthor?

Lois shuddered and turned away, focusing on the number panel and the lights she could see flashing across the numbers as she made her ascent. Could she imagine living here? Taking this elevator ride every day to her new home on the penthouse floor of Luthor Towers? If she ever married Lex, it would certainly be expected that this would become her home.

Why hadn’t she thought about any of this before?

The elevator came to a halt before her thoughts could go any further, and the doors opened with a soft hiss. The room spread out before her, filled with the same designer décor Lex had always had, but this time, everything looked different to her. This time, instead of seeing it as a guest, she tried seeing it through the eyes of Lex’s girlfriend and would-be fiancée… because truly, why was she dating him if she didn’t see a place for herself in his world?

She crossed the room, noting to herself how she would never feel comfortable toeing off her shoes and curling up on the ridiculously expensive leather couch she passed – and in fact, she never had. That seemed silly, didn’t it? That in the last few months that she’d been seeing Lex, they’d never even watched a television show together, let alone settled in for popcorn and a movie? Wasn’t that one of the things most couples did when they were getting to know each other?

They’d gone to operas, charity dinners, amazing restaurants, even flown on his private jet to faraway places… but they’d never spent any significant time at either one of their places, and they certainly had never curled up together on the couch to watch Lethal Weapon.

In fact, the only man she’d really ever done that with… was Clark.

Lois shook her head, trying to bend her thoughts away from her partner as she walked towards the entrance to the balcony. If she was going to give this dinner with Lex any real shot, she couldn’t be constantly thinking about her partner and best friend… who also happened to be the man she had kissed so very thoroughly last night…

She blinked, catching herself before she went there. The large glass doors to the balcony slid open on cue, and Lois was greeted by Lex, who opened his arms to her as soon as she stepped out. “Lois, darling. Wonderful to see you.” He took both of her hands and dropped his head towards hers, brushing a light kiss across her cheek. “Your beauty transcends the stars in the sky tonight, my love.”

“Thank you,” Lois returned. “It’s nice to see you, too.” Looking through these new eyes, she was struck by how formal their greeting was and how his lavish compliment didn’t summon the same awestruck feeling in her that it usually did. She much preferred Clark’s quiet, “You look great,” backed by the captivated look in his eye and sincerity shining in his voice.

Unaware of her comparisons, Lex slid one hand up to her elbow and ushered her farther onto the balcony, where Lois could see an elegant table set for two. “Come, Chef Andre has spent hours preparing a fabulous meal just for us.”

Ever the solicitous date, he slid out one of the chairs and helped her into it, slipping her purse behind her. Before she’d even unfolded her napkin, a young man on Lex’s wait staff appeared. “May I get you something to drink, Ms. Lane?”

Lex waved him away. “I’ve already had the wine brought out, Terrence. Please just bring Ms. Lane a glass of water.”

The young man nodded his head. “Of course, sir. I’ll be out with the soup shortly.”

Lois hadn’t missed the way Lex spoke for her; was that the way it always was with them, and she just hadn’t noticed? Had she been so intimidated by some of the upscale places that they’d been that she’d allowed him to just take over? That wasn’t who she was; that woman was the woman she’d been staring at in the elevator earlier – that beautiful, lifeless doll she seemed to turn into whenever she was around Lex.

“So,” he turned his attention to her as Terrence scurried away. “Tell me, my dear, how was your orientation at LNN yesterday? I’ve been eager to hear your impression of the network.”

“It was… good,” she said, unsure of exactly how to respond. “It was a lot to take in, though. It’s so different than the Planet.” That, at least, she could say truthfully.

“Ah, yes, but isn’t broadcast news is so immediate, so now? It’s exciting. The Planet, of course, was a pillar of our city in its time, but I’m afraid that in today’s society, modern technology has surpassed the paper’s prominence. Why, the Planet didn’t even have an email system, did it?”

“Well, they were talking about putting one in soon,” Lois said defensively, feeling the need to protect her home turf. The Planet was special to her, and he knew that. Of course, Lex never had been very supportive of her career at the Planet; he seemed to like it that she was accomplished, but ever since they’d started dating, he’d constantly asserted that she was better fitted for broadcast news… hence, her new job at LNN.

“Well, we needn’t worry about that now.” He reached out and picked up her wine glass. “Shall I pour?”

“Yes, thank you.” Lois nodded toward the wine bottle that sat opposite her. It was beautiful, and it certainly looked vintage, though she couldn’t read the label from this angle. “What are we drinking tonight?” she inquired, if only to turn the conversation to something a bit less controversial.

Lex smiled smugly as he lifted the bottle and poured a small amount into her glass. “I was hoping that you’d ask. It’s new to my collection.” He handed her the wide-rimmed Bordeaux glass and then turned the label toward her, brandishing his hand across it. “It’s a 1951 Penfolds Grange Hermitage. A marvelous, full-bodied Australian red that I procured at an auction about a month ago. I’m especially proud of its rarity; only a small number of bottles were produced that year, and only about twenty still exist in the world.”

“Oh, wow.” She didn’t have to feign her impressed expression. She took a small sip and rolled it experimentally on her tongue, savoring the flavor. “That’s amazing. I’m sure it was an expensive purchase.”

His grin broadened, Cheshire-like. “To the tune of $38,000 dollars a bottle.”

The wine glass in her hand landed on the table with a thud, and Lois was glad that she had been in the process of placing it down. Any higher and she probably would have dropped it – which would have been great, considering the wine inside cost more than her car.

“You spent $38,000 dollars on a bottle of wine? This wine, that we’re drinking right now? Shouldn’t it be in a case somewhere, on display, instead of in our glasses?” The questions came rapid fire from her, mostly because that was her default mode whenever she wasn’t sure what to do or say. Questions tended to switch the focus from her reaction to the answers of the other person, so the reporter in her took over very quickly whenever she was flustered.

Lex chuckled. “Yes, I did, and yes, we are drinking it. It’s not on display because I believe in living life to the fullest. There are things in this world that are meant to be enjoyed with someone special. Don’t you agree?” He reached across the table to her take her hand, stroking over it with his thumb.

She found herself staring at his hand as it covered hers, suddenly transported to another evening, another man’s hand across the dinner table. They’d been laughing about something; she’d forgotten now what he’d said, but what she did remember was the way she’d slid her hand along his arm and found his hand, dipping her fingers across the tender skin around his knuckles. When she had realized what she was doing, she’d been both a little embarrassed and a little surprised at how natural the movement had felt, like she did it every day. She remembered how he’d smiled slightly and clasped her hand just a bit tighter. She remembered, too, how good it had felt to be connected to him like that, and how simply the brush of his thumb across her skin had left her momentarily breathless.

It wasn’t like that now. Lois could feel the difference. Lex made her feel flattered and slightly awed at the amount of money he tossed around so casually – $38,000 dollars on a bottle of wine still made her head spin – but he didn’t take her breath away with his touch. In fact, right now she was trying to figure out a way to politely extricate her hand from his grip without looking like the rudest date ever. She glanced around, looking for something to save her.

Beyond the balcony, the sun was starting to set in the early May sky. She pulled her hand free and gestured to it. “Oh, wow, look at how gorgeous the sunset is tonight.”

Lex let go, too, and turned his head toward it. He chuckled lightly. “Yes. It’s one of the many reasons I love this building, and one of the reasons I constructed it to rise above every other building in the city. The views are magnificent. Come,” he said, and motioned for her to stand. He held out his hand and helped her up before leading her over to the wall of the balcony. “This sunset is certainly among those wonders meant to be enjoyed.” He stretched his arms wide, encompassing the sky and the bustling city below them, like he was making a grand announcement. “Spring in Metropolis at its finest. Almost as if it had been ordered exclusively for us.”

She watched him, glancing back and forth between the darkening pinks and reds painted on the horizon and the man beside her. It certainly was a special moment, one of those rare times to just sit back in awe and admire the beauty of nature. But was she happy to be sharing the moment with him? She was, wasn’t she? It was fine… but then why was she suddenly wishing that the man standing next to her was her partner and best friend?

The answer came quick and clear, but she shook it away. She’d probably be just as happy to be standing here with Superman as she would with Clark… wouldn’t she? Lois thought for a moment, stunned at the realization that it wasn’t true anymore. Maybe a week ago, a month ago, she would’ve loved the thought of Superman sharing this sunset with her, maybe even soaring through the rose-colored sky in his arms.

But right now, all she could think was that Lex was too pompous – what, the sunset ordered just for them? – and Superman too much of a fantasy. Pink cotton-candy cloud kisses? It sounded like the fanciful dreams of a pre-teen. As she shook her head slightly, she realized that the ache she felt inside wasn’t for either of those two men; it was very much for Clark’s company. She wanted her best friend, the man she felt more comfortable with than anyone… she wanted to watch this sunset with him, maybe lean her head onto his shoulder while he wrapped one arm around her.

She just wanted Clark.

She glanced over at the man beside her, wondering if he could tell what she was thinking. Looking at his profile, she took in his strong features. Classically handsome, certainly, but he didn’t possess even an echo of the warmth that radiated from Clark. God, she had to stop thinking about Clark for a while if she was even going to make it through dinner. She was supposed to be focusing on Lex and her feelings for him. Speaking of which… she regarded him again.

No. She wasn’t that bold.

Was she?

Lois hesitated for a minute, but the thought came again. It was the perfect opportunity, standing there admiring the romantic sunset together on the balcony. And really, she may as well try it; she’d been comparing the two men since she got here, so what was one more experiment?

She turned to face him, touching his arm to get his attention. When Lex turned his head towards her, she leaned in suddenly, touching her lips to his. He startled a little, surprised at her forward move, but quickly settled, opening his mouth on hers. His lips were warm, even though the evening temperature had dipped just slightly. He slid his tongue along her lips, and she could taste a hint of the expensive wine they’d just been drinking.

She waited.

She waited for the rush of feeling, for those butterflies, for her body to respond to the movement of his mouth. She waited for something to happen.

But nothing did. Seconds ticked by, and she found the only thing she was feeling was vaguely uncomfortable. He was becoming increasingly passionate, moving his hands down her sides and across the open part at the back of her dress.

It wasn’t that he was a terrible kisser; he certainly seemed to know what he was doing, but she just… wasn’t into it. At all.

There was nothing inside her urging her to get closer to him; her heart wasn’t pounding out a desperate rhythm to connect with him. Her hands weren’t eager to find every peak and valley of his body, every different texture of his skin. Her mind wasn’t blank to everything but what was happening between them; in fact, it was just the opposite. She couldn’t get her thoughts to stop. Everything in her was screaming that this wasn’t right.

She broke the kiss and pulled back. “Lex.”

“Yes, my love,” he hummed. He pulled her closer, but she put her hands on her shoulders, intent on pushing him away.

Thankfully, Terrence arrived on the balcony at that moment, carrying a tray, and Lois glanced at the table. “Uh… oh, our soup is here,” she said brightly and slipped gratefully from his grasp. Disconcerted by her little experiment, she walked back to the table and sat down. Lex followed her and took his seat as well, grinning like the proverbial cat who ate the canary.

The young server set small, steaming cups of soup in front of them. “Tonight’s first course is a spicy tomato and carrot soup with a pistachio dumpling, garnished with yogurt and strips of sweet chili pepper,” he announced. “Chef Andre hopes you enjoy.” He bowed slightly as he moved away from the table.

Lois had never been so glad to see a tiny cup of soup in her life. She couldn’t decide if the kiss with Lex had been an epic failure or a huge success. Perhaps it had been a little of both; failure because it had been one of worst kisses of her life, but success because she’d finally realized why she’d never been that eager to take their relationship further: apparently, her attraction and physical chemistry with Lex was just this side of nonexistent.

Which, again, was the complete opposite of what had happened last night. Last night, she’d realized that out of control had never felt quite as good as it had in Clark’s arms. She remembered that Clark had been the one to break the kiss the first time; she’d been so swept away by it that she’d wanted it to keep going. Everything about her kisses with Clark had been instinctual; she hadn’t even had time to think about what she was doing. She’d responded and then some.

Lex set his spoon down and cleared his throat, breaking her train of thought. “Is the soup to your liking?”

“What? Oh. Of course.” She fell silent again, still caught in her thoughts of the previous night. “It’s delicious,” she added as an afterthought, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on the fact that her mind was elsewhere. She took another large bite of the creamy soup for show.

There was a pause, and Lois searched for something to comment on besides the food. She knew there were a thousand things she needed to say to him, but she couldn’t think of a single one right now. She took a few more bites, just to have something to do besides talk to him.

As the silence grew, the only thing she could think was that it was never like this with Clark. The two of them never seemed to run out of things to say to each other, and it wasn’t like they just talked about work, either; last night, they hadn’t had any stories to talk about and there hadn’t been any awkward pauses in conversation. They’d chatted about anything and everything: their childhoods, their pasts, their hobbies, their shared history. Even their small silences had been comfortable. It had just been… easy.

Well, she thought resolutely, if it was easy with Clark, why couldn’t it be the same with Lex? Maybe she should put a little more effort in, instead of just swirling her soup with her spoon and using it as an excuse not to say anything. She looked up determinedly.

“Lex, do you remember when you asked me to marry you, and I said that we really didn’t know each other that well?”

He smiled smugly. “I would’ve thought you found out all you needed to know about me a moment ago.”

Ugh. The haughty smile that she might have found charming a week ago now made her want to shake him. She wanted to say, ‘Found out what? That I want to kiss Clark way more than I want to kiss you?’ but she refrained. Instead, she pasted a smile on her face and said, “You know what I mean. I still feel like we don’t really know much about each other, especially if we’re supposed to be thinking about getting married.”

He studied her a moment, then offered her a placating smile. “I’d wondered why you’d been so distant over the last few days, and why you hadn’t given me your answer yet. If that’s what’s bothering you, darling, let’s talk. My life is an open book. What it is you want to know?”

“Just anything. You. Your childhood, your likes and dislikes. I just want to know more about you.”

He leaned back in his chair and started to speak as Terrence came out to clear their cups from the table. “Of course. Well, you know I was orphaned at age thirteen. I was taken in by my father’s much older brother, who had built his own fortune but was estranged from my father. He resented having to take in his poor teenage nephew, but had little choice, as I had no other living relatives. Consequently, I was sent to a prestigious boarding school – Leysin American School – in Switzerland.”

Lois nodded and leaned forward, picking up her wine glass. See, this wasn’t so bad, she thought. He was talking; she was interested. “Still, it must have been difficult, living in other country without anyone you knew around you.”

“It made me strong,” Lex stated firmly. “Much of my drive and ambition was shaped in those early experiences at Leysin. I met people, made connections: Rockefellers, Vanderbilts, sons and daughters of diplomats, even members of the Saudi Royal family. I saw the way those people lived, the way my uncle lived… and when I graduated, I was determined I would not return to the nothingness from which I’d come. My plan was to conquer.” He paused, and there was a flash of something across his face, something Lois couldn’t place, but it raised the hairs on the back of her neck.

Lex continued. “In business, of course. After graduation, I began working a high-level management job at a company owned by a friend’s father. When he passed suddenly, I took over the company.”

“You were only twenty-one,” Lois recalled from one of her first interviews with Lex.

“Yes.” Lex looked pleased that she’d remembered.

“But… all of that I could find out by reading your biography. Tell me something else, something you wouldn’t want anyone else to know.” Even she recognized her words as one last, desperate attempt to connect with him.

“Lois.” He reached over and took her hand again. “I don’t know what it is you need from me, or what it is you’re asking. If you’re trying to find skeletons, I’ll warn you that they are there. I’m not a saint, but nor have I ever claimed to be one. I’ve done some questionable things in pursuit of my success, but unfortunately, that’s the nature of big business. I’ve had to be ruthless with my enemies, because they would be ruthless with me. I’ve hurt people, but only when my hand has been forced. But you… you are changing something in me. It’s why I want to marry you. You are making me want to be a better person.”

She was? Lois looked at him quizzically. He looked sincere, but from what he’d just confessed, it seemed like he could be lying. He’d admitted to questionable things – whatever that meant – and she wasn’t sure what to make of him. How could she be making him a better person? They’d only been dating for a matter of weeks. The whole thing seemed strange, and it didn’t sit right with her.

Their meal appeared then, interrupting her window into Lex’s past. Terrence and another slightly older man placed delicious-smelling plates of food in front of them. This time, the older man spoke, his voice nasally. “This evening, Chef Andre is serving sage-poached lobster with a seared foie gras and turnips purée, glazed in a wild cherry sauce. Please enjoy.”

Lex nodded his approval. “Excellent, Tomlin. Thank you.”

“Will there be anything else, sir?”

“No, that will be all for now.”

The two men nodded and disappeared almost instantly through a side door on the balcony. Lois picked up her fork and poked a little at her food. Foie gras? Was that what the man had called it? What even was that? Lois had no idea. She felt silly asking, though, so she just decided that she would concentrate on the lobster. That thought struck her as funny, and she had to fight the sudden urge to laugh; what was she doing, having lobster and foie gras in a wild cherry sauce for dinner on a Tuesday night?

In between bites, Lex nodded to her. “Chef Andre has outdone himself tonight, don’t you think?”

“What? Oh, yes. Dinner is amazing.” She picked up her wine glass and sipped it. ‘But what about salad and risotto you made yourself?’ she wanted to ask. ‘What about baking and homemade bread? What about laughing and teasing and doing the dishes together and passionate kisses up against the kitchen counter? What about pizza and a video on a Friday night? What about all that?’

Those nights didn’t happen in the world of Lex Luthor, and the more Lois thought about it, the more she realized that she didn’t want any part of that world. It hadn’t helped, trying to learn more about him; their conversation tonight had only highlighted their differences and reinforced what Lois had already known deep down: she didn’t belong here.

Expensive boarding schools, money, power, pleasure: they were pursuits Lois didn’t understand. She looked over at the urbane, sophisticated man who sat across from her, and it was almost as if she was emerging from a dream. She had nothing in common with this man. She had no desire to spend the rest of her life this way, high atop a penthouse balcony, discussing business politics while drinking insanely expensive wine and eating a meal that she couldn’t even pronounce.

Decisively, she put down her fork. “Lex, we need to talk.”

His lips upturned slightly as he picked up his napkin and dapped at his mouth. “Haven’t we been?”

“No.” She pushed her plate away. “I mean really talk. About us.” She took a deep breath and plunged ahead with what she’d come here to say in the first place: “Lex, I can’t marry you.”

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