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#279242 02/27/18 07:03 AM
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Okay. So this has gotten drastically longer. That may be good or bad news, depending on how you like the story so far. But the good news? No more question mark, so you know it's set in stone. That's right. Mouse is coming at you with a fully fleshed out story.

Hope you like twists. grin


Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
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This is a wonderful story. I wonder what is wrong with Lois. I love how Clark hunted her down and once he looked into those big brown eyes of the little girl you knew he knew. I also like the name.

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Yay for Mouse! And yay for Havana! She's got to be the cutest little two-year-old ever.

Well, we've answered the question of Kryptonian/human crossbreeding potential. And since there's no way Perry and the rest of the staff wouldn't know about Lois' daughter, it's no wonder her boss cuts her so much slack. I wonder how hostile the rest of the reporting team will be toward Clark when they find out that Clark's the baby daddy. Perry has figured it out, surely, but no one else knows yet.

And when will we know what's killing Lois? I totally get his desire to help her in any way, and I also get her reaction ("You really think I haven't thought of that, Clark?") and her fear of his raising her hopes with impossible promises. But if this tale is still mainly about saving Lois - it is, isn't it? - someone will pull a rabbit out of a hat somewhere down the line.

Will Lois tell Havana that Clark is her daddy? Will she let Clark into his daughter's life even as she tries to keep him out of hers? Surely he'll want to be her daddy! When will Lois learn of his "special" talents? And will those talents figure in her recover? (I'm an optimist with other people's stories.)

Oh, this is good! I'm so glad the story has expanded so much. There is so much to tell.

So, when will the next chapter be up?


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Oh I’m so happy it’s going to be longer! Lois is dying and they have a child together? I love how Clark went to Lois’ to tell her he’ll do anything for her. So sweet! Can’t wait to see what happens next.


Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Beat Reporter
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Maybe Clark should have taken a little more time to think about what he was doing and waited until the next day to talk to Lois and not at her home.

I wonder how much Havana knew about her father before now.

I cant wait to see what happens in the next chapter. smile


"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Wow! Thanks for all the comments!

Originally Posted by CarrieRene
This is a wonderful story. I wonder what is wrong with Lois. I love how Clark hunted her down and once he looked into those big brown eyes of the little girl you knew he knew. I also like the name.

wave Glad you're enjoying so far! Thanks, I thought the name gave the title a little more strength, plus it's got a lot of fun nickname opportunities (Hana, Ana, Vana, Banana, Bo-Bana...)

Originally Posted by Terry Leatherwood
Yay for Mouse! And yay for Havana! She's got to be the cutest little two-year-old ever.

That is how I'm picturing her, yes. laugh

Quote
Well, we've answered the question of Kryptonian/human crossbreeding potential. And since there's no way Perry and the rest of the staff wouldn't know about Lois' daughter, it's no wonder her boss cuts her so much slack. I wonder how hostile the rest of the reporting team will be toward Clark when they find out that Clark's the baby daddy. Perry has figured it out, surely, but no one else knows yet.
Indeed. Lots more to come there. I wanted Perry's speech to come off as vague at first, but on re-reading it matches up way better with the introduction of Havana. And there's one more person who might already know.

Quote
And when will we know what's killing Lois? I totally get his desire to help her in any way, and I also get her reaction ("You really think I haven't thought of that, Clark?") and her fear of his raising her hopes with impossible promises. But if this tale is still mainly about saving Lois - it is, isn't it? - someone will pull a rabbit out of a hat somewhere down the line.
Yep, it is. That thread hasn't changed (a promise is a promise, no matter how hard the evil side of me tries to off her...)

Quote
Will Lois tell Havana that Clark is her daddy? Will she let Clark into his daughter's life even as she tries to keep him out of hers? Surely he'll want to be her daddy! When will Lois learn of his "special" talents? And will those talents figure in her recover? (I'm an optimist with other people's stories.)
All that and more will be answered in the next... eleven chapters. devil

Quote
I'm so glad the story has expanded so much. There is so much to tell. So, when will the next chapter be up?

Hopefully by the end of the week, assuming the power and internet stays up (got a MAJOR snowstorm coming in tomorrow, and yes, I'm still in California. I'm not built for this!!)

Originally Posted by jackiek
Oh I’m so happy it’s going to be longer! Lois is dying and they have a child together? I love how Clark went to Lois’ to tell her he’ll do anything for her. So sweet! Can’t wait to see what happens next.

Thanks! Glad you're happy about the extension. There's just too much to unpack with this one. More to come soon.

Originally Posted by Lady Loisette
Maybe Clark should have taken a little more time to think about what he was doing and waited until the next day to talk to Lois and not at her home.

I wonder how much Havana knew about her father before now.

Probably. But it's much less drama if Clark and Lois approach things rationally. evil More to come on Havana.


Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
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"Sit down, son."

"I'm sorry, Mr. White. I understand how... how unprofessional this all must seem. It's always been a dream of mine to work for a paper like the Daily Planet, but right now there's more important things--"

"Oh, the interview's over, Kent, trust me. That's not why I asked you to sit down."

Clark finally looked up at the man he'd hoped would be his boss and noted the dark look on his face. He swallowed and nodded, settling back down into his chair with the pit in his stomach ever-growing.

It is really bad when Perry does not hire Clark for the job. In all my years of reading FoLC fandom that has rarely happened. Now how is Clark supposed to take care of his family without a job? You promised twists and turns and that is exactly what is happening. I can hardly wait for Part three! thumbsup


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Originally Posted by Morgana
It is really bad when Perry does not hire Clark for the job. In all my years of reading FoLC fandom that has rarely happened. Now how is Clark supposed to take care of his family without a job? You promised twists and turns and that is exactly what is happening. I can hardly wait for Part three! thumbsup

devil Quite the pickle, poor Clark. Part three is coming soon, but don't expect that to be resolved yet. wink

Last edited by Mouserocks; 03/04/18 02:45 AM.

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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jawdrop shock jawdrop shock jawdrop

Near the end of the first chapter, I was expecting there to be a kid. But after the end, I figured that that wasn't going to happen. You've got me on the edge of my seat. I'm kind of glad that I'm late to the party here so I don't have to endure the cliffhanger. laugh


"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Quote
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His mind was spinning. What was it, cancer? She was so young-- a year younger than him, if he recalled correctly-- and she was dying? No. That had to be wrong. She needed a second opinion. Or she was pulling his leg, testing him. Fate couldn't be so cruel.

Mouserocks can’t be THAT cruel! mecry

Havana is so cute I already love her. What a twist!!!! I didn’t expect her at all….
I’m really hooked. What a wonderful story!


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