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#263858 06/06/15 06:38 PM
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Feedback folder for the second chapter of A Week in Paris


"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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This is both different AND very interesting. Lois has some real decisions to make here. Clark does too but he is pretty clueless to that need. The idea that Lois figured out C=S is not a real stretch given they both left at the same time and her relationship with both went to hell at just about the same time. Plus she did not have Clark (or Dan for that long) to distract her in her analysis.

I like the way that you are exploring both the relationship and the investigation fully. Sometimes one gets the short end of the stick at the expense of the other. I also wonder how long before Clark drops the I am not working this as that is not what I do anymore and I have to be in Vienna thing and gets fully involved as this could be a BIG story and Lois does not know Paris...

I love the direction you are heading and look forward to the next chapter.

Mike


Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.

Jeremy Bentham

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Kerth
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Kerth
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It will be interesting to see how long Lois keeps her knowledge about Superman a secret. Hopefully, Clark won't be concerned that her seemingly new feelings for him only exist because of his alter ego.


You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. wink
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Ha! Superman travelling in Fiat Panda... You've just made my day laugh
This story gets more interesting by the minute...


Go I Know Not Whither and Fetch I Know Not What
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Pulitzer
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I am enjoying this romance/detective story! smile1 I am chuckling thinking about Clark squeezed into a tiny Fiat Panda!

Lois knows the secret? Truly a change of events!

Tell us, what is your posting schedule like?

Last edited by Morgana; 06/07/15 10:46 PM.

Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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I have to echo what Mike stated in that I really, also, am enjoying how you are covering both the investigation and the relationship aspect of this story. It's come across as a very seemless balance, and I find myself drawn to both aspects.

Hmmm. Lois already knowing Clark is Superman. I like that detail. The fact that they (Clark and Superman) both went overseas fairly close in time together was a pretty big clue. Like was mentioned in the story, so is some distance--some time to reflect. Really curious how long Lois will keep that secret to herself...

Clark heading to Vienna tomorrow night? No!!! Keep that boy in Paris, please? grovel. After the information they are learning today though, I can see the story taking top priority work-wise. And obviously, I hope ( grovel again), once Lois and Clark get some time together--to talk, to be honest, to 'feel' what they really feel--this investigation will be completely important for a totally different reason wink clap grin.

Love the story--can't wait for more!
Laura


"Where's Clark?" "Right here."

...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.

~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Quote
I like the way that you are exploring both the relationship and the investigation fully. Sometimes one gets the short end of the stick at the expense of the other.

Thanks MikeM smile I"m trying to keep it balanced. This story originally had a very, very long preamble which I decided to dispense with simply because it took way too long to get to the A-plot. I thought dropping the preamble would make for a stronger story, and I still think I was right to get rid of it (although it pained me to scrap that much hard work).

Quote
Ha! Superman travelling in Fiat Panda... You've just made my day laugh

Haha, yeah. I tried to come up with the most ridiculously small car I could think of to stuff Clark in with those broad shoulders of his. I know very few European cars (I'm Aussie), so I'm glad the Panda worked.

Quote
Tell us, what is your posting schedule like?

I'm trying to update it once a week, Morgana. I've got a few chapters up my sleeve yet so I can keep ahead smile

Thanks everyone for your feedback, I'm really enjoying reading your reactions to the story smile


"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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Still reading. Still enjoying. Very busy and sick (again. wallbash Damn summer colds), so don't have much time for a thorough FDK, but wanted to let you know that I'm still here (with your vignette series, too).

The one thing that caught my eye during this part, besides the excitement of Lois and Clark working together again, and their self-denial of how much they missed each other with that hug, and the fact that Lois FIGURED IT OUT!!!!! (okay, maybe there wasn't just one thing), is that Lois keeps telling herself that if Clark really and truly still loved her he wouldn't have left. /Is there a smilie for strangling Lois until wisdom arrives?/

Oh, come on! YOU were dating Dan Scardino (i.e. rubbing it in Clark's face that you weren't interested in him as more than a friend), Lois! Do you not know how much that would've tortured him? You know how skittish the man is. How many times over the years has he almost hung up his cape and moved away, only to be brought to his senses by you? Clark may not have liked the man, but he knew that Dan wasn't evil (i.e. Lex Luthor) so he was giving you your space. Did you expect him to hang off your skirt until you realized what a great guy he is? Ha! Would you have wanted him if he had? Nah. It was his leaving and the hole his leaving left in your life that made you realize how much you cared. I love how nobody uses his desk (except Jimmy occasionally) and how everyone blames you for his absence!

Okay, I'm starting to argue with your characters as if they are real people. Perhaps I'm sicker than I thought. wink Can't wait to see how Clark's Vienna trip falls through so he can concentrate on Lois...er... the art theft investigation.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.

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