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Joined: Dec 2003
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Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
TOVOM TOC I hope you like it.  I'll post the other part in a few days.
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. 
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,114 |
Uh-oh ... the triangle built for two is now a triangle for three (or is it five?)
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Uh-oh. Barry's in Trouuuuuuuuuble.  Awwwww. You've painted such a nice character for Barry, much better than Bizarro, much better than Vatman. A man with a second chance. Well, until that last line. Then, he's going to end up hog tied on the sun. I love the idea that Barry is actually Vatman. What a great idea!  Perfect! It's interesting that Barry actually thinks that Clark is dead when HE knows that Clark is actually Superman and that Superman can't be shot. Then, again, Barry never was the brightest bulb in Vat class. Can't wait to see what happens next!
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082
Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
It's interesting that Barry actually thinks that Clark is dead when HE knows that Clark is actually Superman and that Superman can't be shot. Then, again, Barry never was the brightest bulb in Vat class. Oh, Barry knows full well that Clark is still alive. That will be abundantly clear in part 2. Barry sometimes pretends to be more innocent than he really is. 
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 732 Likes: 1
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 732 Likes: 1 |
YESSSSSSS!!!!! I wasn't thinking about keeping the series order intact, just having the two episodes simultaneous with each other. This is so much better. This is definitely feeding the evil beast that loves these situations. I'm honored that you thought the idea was worth pursuing and jealous because I wouldn't have written it half as well.
Vatman = Barry = pure genius.
I assume exposure to the sun saved his life... but does Barry still have powers?
Is there going to be a mirror image of the scene at Lois's where Clark confronts Vatman in the Superman suit?
Wait. "Adult parties"? You're not going to post Vatman NFIC now, are you? Clois. Why does Clois come to mind? CaB:TNAOS Clois and Barry: The NFIC Adventures of Superman('s clones)
Virginia--"Hog-tied on the sun." LOL Perfect.
Shallowford
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Joined: Apr 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Wait. "Adult parties"? You're not going to post Vatman NFIC now, are you? Clois. Why does Clois come to mind? CaB:TNAOS Clois and Barry: The NFIC Adventures of Superman('s clones) Well, if Barry somehow manages to make it through Groobie's story alive and intact, I have an idea for an  twist on a "I now pronounce you..." type sequel to this story, which could explain how Barry and Clois would meet. Virginia--"Hog-tied on the sun." LOL Perfect. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e030.gif)
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1 |
Combining Vatman and TOGoM: Sheer brilliance!
I am thoroughly enjoying this story and looking forward to the next (and, alas, last) part.
Joy,
Lynn
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Joined: Sep 2013
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
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Woo-Hoo! You posted  I was so curious as to how you were going to combine these episodes...and then, as Shallowford stated: Vatman = Barry = pure genius. Total/completely/instantly made sense to me. What a great idea! It's actually pretty amazing how well these episodes can fit together ... I really love how you've written Barry. All those little details that show he hasn't been around really all that long: He looked down at himself and answered honestly, “My father made it for me.” The man’s face lit up and he thrust out his hand. “Sammy, at your service. I’m the number one agent in this town. And I know talent when I see it. Boy, you and me, kid, we could make a killing!”
His face fell. “I don’t want to kill anybody.” He thought for a moment. “Parties sound like fun.” You've totally found this character! Love it  Well, how could he know what she had only just learned herself? Why did that knowledge have to come at such a high cost? Lois looked away from the mirror, fearing she’d see the emotion reflected in her eyes. But the memory of his eyes played through her thoughts, sparkling at her thousands of times in the course of two years. She should have identified it then, at any of those thousands of times, and accepted it for what it was. But no; instead, she had rejected it the very first time she had spotted it, and had subconsciously been rejecting it ever since.
Don’t fall for me, farmboy...
Too late, she realized now: he had already fallen hard. Too late, she realized last night: he had already fallen to the floor. Too late to tell him now: she had already fallen for him. Some a-mazing writing throughout these couple of paragraphs....the line 'but the memory of his eyes played through her thoughts, sparkling at her thousands of times in the course of two years' I really like. My mind almost makes a flip-book of all the scenes that I love so much--zeroing in on Clark's smiling eyes. It's so easy, with hindsight, to picture Lois going 'there', too. The last paragraph, those three sentences--YES! I really love the wordage, how you created the pattern of the sentences. All the meaning throughout. I really admire the creativity involved  . He moaned softly and accepted her embrace, because kissing was fun. Gotta love Barry  . Definitely  'd again at 'because kissing was fun.' Because now he was dead. The real him, not the costumed superhero. The man who worked at the Daily Planet and went to ball games with Perry and Jimmy. The man who listened to Lois go off on weird tangents and secretly loved it. The man who secretly loved her. Great way of using dialog from the episode differently, but so effectively ... And he saw Lois Lane kissing Clark Kent.  Quite the shock for Clark. Whoa! And such a g-r-e-a-t line to end Part 1 with   . Can't wait for Part 2  Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Thank you all for your feedback! I'm thrilled that you liked my use of Barry to combine the two stories. Barry's hourly rate is quite affordable, just in case you were wondering.  Wait. "Adult parties"? You're not going to post Vatman NFIC now, are you? Clois. Why does Clois come to mind? LOL...do you have spyware on my computer?  Enjoy part 2!
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,658 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,658 Likes: 10 |
The combination of these stories are making for a fascinating whole! OK Clark, now that you've seen Lois kissing 'Clark' what are you going to do about it?
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,944 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,944 Likes: 28 |
Hi Susan! Slowly catching up  Great title! Might is right, but he wasn’t mighty and his very existence wasn’t right. And he smiled. Because he was alive.
“Superman!” Sounds like his clothes did not burn up upon reentry. Where did you get that costume?”
He looked down at himself and answered honestly, “My father made it for me.”  The man’s face lit up and he thrust out his hand. “Sammy, at your service. I’m the number one agent in this town. And I know talent when I see it. Boy, you and me, kid, we could make a killing!” /squints/ Barry? He waggled his eyes suggestively. “Adult parties. You could book ‘em all.”  I know guys who know guys. We can take care of that.” He stuck out his hand again. “Do we have a deal?” He does sound like a very honest man. “You look like a Barry to me.” See? like the trail of blood that must have trickled from his wounds. But there was no blood! Too late, she realized now: he had already fallen hard. Too late, she realized last night: he had already fallen to the floor. Too late to tell him now: she had already fallen for him. Very clever! Barry closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, pulling his arms tightly around her. It had been so long since he had last held her in his embrace, but the same tingle of desire glimmered through him, as if it was part of his DNA. Oh boy. Ladies liked him: the moms at the birthday parties, the women at the adult parties. They were all fun, and he liked having a good time. He led her to the sofa and encouraged her to sit down, because people on television always seemed to think bad news was better delivered on comfy furniture. Hmm…unless the receivee is currenctly strung up on a tree or over a vat of boiling oil and the mastermind is informing him that all his friends and family have died by now. That’s also a pretty decent way to deliver bad news. He moaned softly and accepted her embrace, because kissing was fun. Barry leaned back against the arm of the couch and Lois crawled onto his lap, intent on keeping their tight connection. Oh boy. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c040.gif) And anyway, her lips would recognize the difference soon enough, and when that happened, he’d let her go. If she had a sample to compare it to… She gently brushed her fingertips over his face, caressing his cheek and staring deeply into his undisguised eyes. I just realized, is he wearing glasses? Barry smiled at her innocently. “I’d like to be your friend. And it would be fun to be something more.” Down boy. So he blurred the line and accepted the lie, even though he knew he wasn’t really Superman or Clark Kent. He was just a pale imitation who had been born in a vat. Well…to be fair, a lot of imitations are born in vats. Clark hadn’t considered the danger of confronting a criminal holding a gun because there was no danger; he did it every day without fear. Also, in cartoons, all you have to do is stuff your finger into the gun, or squeeze the tip of the gun shut, or something like that. Why didn’t he try that? And he saw Lois Lane kissing Clark Kent. Oops? Back later for part 2! Michael
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