“But, Superman! Do you have to go? Earth needs you! *I* need you.”
“Sorry, Lois, but I must. I have a duty to my people...and to my wife.”
/commence gagging/
gaze adoringly at the buxom actress playing Zara.
*Buxom*?
“Cut!” shouted Les, then he stood up and clapped. “That's magnificent, Hans! Magnificent!”
You know, I can’t stop imagining Hans to look like Mindy’s blond, musclebound boytoy.
“Should we try that kissing scene again?”
Does that count as sexual harassment at a movie set?
“why Lois keeps throwing herself at Superman in front of everyone, including Clark?”
Because she’s promiscuous?
Granted, Lois admitted to herself that she had a history of doing pretty much exactly that...but that was ancient history, and not just in the time-travel sense.
SAMANTHA: I have photoshopped evidence to the contrary.
“Because she's not yet over their affair,” a man who'd been introduced as the script-writer told her.
Duh!
“There's been a lot of speculation about the historical relationship between Lois Lane and Superman,” the writer cheerfully explained. “I decided it would make sense if he had turned to her for comfort, as it were, during the time period between Krypton's destruction and the reveal that his wife was still alive.”
But they have concubines on New Krypton. So, why stop once she learned about the wife?
“Once his life-mate returns to reclaim his passions,” the writer went on, warming to his subject, “Lois is torn apart by jealousy and unrequited desire!”
Her eyes narrowed. “Really.”
“After he leaves Earth, his cold abandonment of her—and the ravages of the New Kryptonian invasion”--he raised a fist, dramatically--“drive her into the arms of fellow reporter Clark Kent.” He nodded towards Keith.
So, Clark was the stooge who got saddled with raising Superman’s love child?
It wouldn't do to flat out accuse the first Superman of having an extra-marital affair, but”--he shrugged--“like I said: historically, there's been a lot of speculation.”
“that Lois Lane had chosen Clark Kent over Superman long ago, and the two of them were already engaged when these New Kryptonians showed up.”
Engaged people can have extra-marital affairs, too. /points at Lex Luthor/
The writer shrugged. “Well, even if that's so, it's only a minor detail in the grand scheme of history. Sometimes a little bit of accuracy must be sacrificed for drama.”
Oh, is *that* the reason for the harebrained tech-schemes abundant in today’s television?
“I have *plenty* of story sense, you smut-peddling character assassin!”
“Puritanical revisionist!”
“Why do you call her 'Grams'?” Keith suddenly asked.
Jordan and Charlotte shared a panicked glance.
“Because it's my name,” Lois answered, thinking quickly. “Lola Graham.”
Jordan leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Don't worry, you can borrow my computer. I'll show you how to open the file.”
You know, considering she hasn’t yet lived through the invasion, I wonder how she’ll react to the concubine-thing?
“Hey, Charlotte!” Hans called as the young woman began collecting her things. “Want to come to my hotel tonight and help me rehearse?” He gave her a leering grin.
So, ‘Superman’s a pig?
“Oh, he is,” said Charlotte as they made their descent. “He's a good actor, though; I've got to give him that. We had a couple scenes together in the second Lovers' Lane movie.”
The reason why she threw up in the third one?
“Mitch actually ran onto the set and slugged him.”
A man suddenly came up behind them and grabbed them by their shoulders. “Speak of the devil!” he said, turning Charlotte to face across the street just as Lois' fist shot backward to collide with a nose as hard as concrete.
“Mitch!” cried Charlotte.
Huh? Is Mitch super, too? Is Charlotte not actually? But no, you already mentioned…? So, is this a second-cousin kind of thing?
“So that's Mr. McLeod, I take it?” Lois asked, gesturing to the man Charlotte was now passionately kissing in the middle of a busy sidewalk.
Is that going to land them in the middle of some paparazzi shots?
“You're married to one of my descendants,” Lois stated. “I doubt that time-travel is the strangest thing you've encountered so far.”
“True,” Mitch agreed slowly, “But it still hits the top five.” He cleared his throat.
“So sorry, I'm being rude. Mitch McLeod, your—er—great-grandson-in-law?” He offered his hand.
Lois laughed and shook it. “Lois Lane. Nice to meet you.”
[…]
Charlotte frowned. “Are you sure, Jordan? Your place is pretty small. Maybe it would be better if we let her stay with Mitch and me at my hotel suite.”
Lois caught the flash of blind panic that swept across Mitch's face.
Worried about his great-gandmother-in-law?
“Well...” Charlotte blushed a little. “I guess it has been a while since my last trip home. But only if you're sure, Grams.”
Why not fly home?
YELLOW PRESS: Mitch McLeod, husband of renowned Hollywood starlet Charlotte McLeod was seen entertaining Supergirl in their home. Ms. McLeod wasn’t yet available to comment on her husband’s extracurricular activities or how she plans to stand up to the super-slut.
She pulled out the cellphone Lois had seen earlier. “I don't know how long you'll be able to stay, and I've just *got* to get a picture of this!”
Lois stared at the phone in her descendant's hand. “Are you going to call a photographer?” she asked.
Selfie-time!
Michael
I thought it was Hans at first, who knocked her to the ground. That's what I get for trying to read stories while my kids are in interruptus mode.
That's something I'm sure Lois wouldn't want in the history books. Does he have Superman kill Nor in the final battle with a fist through his chest or something else bloody and impossible like that?