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Joined: Nov 2004
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Nov 2004
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Sara!! You've posted!! I'm glad you didn't listen to me for two reasons... 1) People would kill me if *I* made you wait to post. By people, I mean Kate... and 2) Deep down I've been dying to see this on the boards  So... WOOHOO!  You already know how much Sam and I loved this part, but because I promised you FDK when you started posting as part of the luckiest-reader-in-the-world-deal I'll highlight some of my favourite points... It was a lost cause. She'd died in the Congo. Somehow, he knew it was true. Lois Lane was supposed to be cosmically bound with Clark Kent. In any universe. Right? If his Lois was still alive, he should *feel* it. He'd know. No, his Lois was dead and gone. This line... this line simply crushed me when I read it. There's no other way to put it. I was crushed. Clark, alone, depressed, and no pretty companion... I wondered if you'd bring Lana back to fill the void, or maybe Mayson... but you dispelled those myths quickly. Still, poor Clark, so alone and empty  He couldn't kill himself, but he could go to sleep and pray futilely that he wouldn't wake up. You really, really love to torture poor Clark, don't you? When I started reading WYWG I was ready to put Clark into witness protection, but slowly you've turned me into a convert. Your amazing writing, your amazing... ability to... be amazing. *This* line is one of the lines that sealed the deal for me. I *love* this line. Really. The despair comes across so clearly... really... it's just... amazing. Superman was a chore, and Clark Kent was a joke. Now I *know* I told you before, but I'll tell you again. That line just blew me away. It's one of the more powerful lines I've read all year. Poor Clark, he's got so many identities and none of them provide a sanctuary for him He still owned the property, the farm, the house. Maybe it was selfish, but he didn't want anyone else to have it. It was all he had left of his parents. Did I tell you that I loved that? How human that made Clark seem? How alone? No? Well... I love that! It makes Clark seem so human and yet so apart from the world. So alone. Now he knew the answer, but the knowledge was far from comforting. This line, like this one before it: He didn't have a future. He'd never have children. He'd never have a legacy. Just hits you right there, ya know? I can just feel his pain. Poor Clark! It's too bad the Witness Protection boat has sailed... Ok, so - get writing! You've got 52 parts to go Your luckiest fan, David
'I just kind of died for you;
You just kind of stared at me'
- Aurora, Foo Fighters
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 165
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Oct 2004
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Wow Sara, thats just...amazing! heartwrenching! Poor Clark. Whats scary is that I recognize so much of what he's feeling. I've felt that numb feeling before, there are days when I just don't feel like I want wake up and face life. Days when I'd rather no one knew I was home. So I can really imagine what Clark's going through. Anyway you have real talent if you can make the reader identify with the characters and maybe feel what they're feeling. It feels real, like this guy could really exist. And I can completely understand his feeling of being used by Wells and then conveniently forgotten about until the next time they need a stand-in for Clark. My fave bits? He looked around his apartment, shrouded in darkness. Just like his heart. Nice imagery! He couldn't kill himself, but he could go to sleep and pray futilely that he wouldn't wake up. Aww! Poor guy! Clark awoke the next morning with the sun screaming in his face. Wow, now THAT is good. There were fourteen thousand, three hundred and sixty-four. lol! Anyways those were the little bits that I thought were gold, the whole thing was absolutely great though! Guess what I was listening to while I read this part? Away From the Sun! Strange coincidence eh? :p Gee, I think this is the longest fdk I've ever posted!
In this life of froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another's trouble,
Courage in your own.
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Woot!! 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2005
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Well, hello hello  I haven't read 'Wherever you will go' yet and thinking that its description on lcfanfic.com only talks about the New-Krypton-arch doesn't look that promising to me. That's one part of the show I don't remember watching more than once way back in time (so my memory of it is hazy too  ). Nonetheless this first chapter is an interesting start to a story. Given the issue that you've got a way with words and expressing feelings I definitely will read 'The Sun' - your posting schedule with updates twice a weak is great too
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
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Wow! I'm blown away! And 53 parts - excellent! Just what we need at the moment.
Looking forward to more,
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 364
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jun 2003
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Ah Sara, great! It made my Monday morning lol Very good. The description was perfect. I could feel Clark's depression and imagine the way he looked. I have no clue where this story is going but if I have learned anything from fanfic is that all things are possible Can't wait for Thursday! Hopefully, with school around the corner, I can keep up! ~Lois Lane Wanna Be
"Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen Hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Continue to learn.
Appreciate your friends.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is."
~Mary Anne Radmacher
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi, Great start.  Now, we need Mr. Wells to give Clark little hope.  You are not going to leave Lois dead? This man is very depressed.  Please! More ASAP, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,093 Likes: 40
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,093 Likes: 40 |
/me pops in for a second to thwap David for the 53 parts thing :rolleyes: He'd *like* it to be that long, but in reality it'll probably be more like 20. I'll be back for more detailed comments on your comments later, but for now: Thank you all so much!!!  Sara
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Joined: May 2003
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 385 |
In honour of this very special occasion, O Most Evil One Of All, I've decided to share some of my comments from the original version... just to prove how EVIL you are and how nice I am by comparision Clark Kent closed the door to his apartment with a sigh. The weight of the old suitcase on his arm -- filled with a handful of extra suits from Martha -- did nothing to lighten his mood. It only reminded him that he was probably never going to see any of them again. Not Martha. Not Jonathan. And certainly not Lois. Oh!! Start me off with a sucker-punch, why don't you… whatever happened to introducing things gently??? Clark sat down on the floor and rested against the bed, propping his arms up on his knees, the picture in front of him. He was foolish for taking it. He was only torturing himself with the image, but it was all he had. Lois stared back at him -- smiling, happy, vibrant, and reminding him of everything he’d never have. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…. *snuffles again* And to hell with this life he was stuck in now. A barren, useless existence. Okay, I really didn't want to say it, but… poor Clark! The lethargy hit him then, as if he’d flown too fast and it had needed a moment to catch up with him. He managed to make it to his bed and under the covers, before the tears hit him too. *REALLY loud snuffle*… gosh, this is WAY worse than MtbB… so nice of you to do this, makes my story seem like a walk in the park by comparison… I can't believe you just did that. This is revenge, isn't it? Can't say I don't deserve it. Please note, I sent you more MTBB EVERY SINGLE TIME you asked for it. …more??????? Please??????? Don't make me beg. Okay, I'm begging… Or maybe threatening… MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And lucky for me that you did send me more right away This is just fab, Sara - congrats on posting!! Sorcha [with Pel giggling over her shoulder <g>]
Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
Meet Joe Black
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Sara WOW, an excellent start!  Tricia 
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Yay! You're posting, Sara!! I think I already told you that this is even better than Wherever You Will Go, but I'm going to tell you again now. This is so well written - I'm envious!!  And I know other people have quoted this passage, but I have to refer to it as well: He was nothing more than a novelty, a side show act. That was who Clark Kent had become.
He'd lost his identity. He'd lost who he was. Superman was a chore, and Clark Kent was a joke.
He bit his lower lip to keep it from trembling. He stared at the ceiling for a minute, asking it to care, wanting *someone* to care. Clark Kent hadn't always been a joke. Exactly. Yet more damage done to alt-Clark! Okay, it was mostly Tempus's fault, but still. If Wells hadn't encouraged Lois to create Superman in that other universe, Clark would still have had a life. Now all he has is the superhero role, and he's alone. What kind of existence is that?  And now, added to that, he knows what his life could have been like - and (he thinks) will never be like. Who could blame him for being so depressed that he wants to die?  The Smallville scene is so poignant: Clark running his hands over the wood, his memories of happier times with his parents, the aching loneliness seeping through his soul. Make him happy, please, Sara!! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Joined: Apr 2004
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2004
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Wahoo!!!! Yay the story is *Finally* up! Boy are we in for a ride. <G> Now let's just hope you can handle this fdk. Let's get started. Omg! That's so sad. But having to lost everyone he loves, and someone he never met(kinda) I would feel the same. He looked around his apartment, shrouded in darkness. Just like his heart. He didn't turn the lights on. The dimly lit room suited his mood, ACK! ACK! Poor clark...I know i'm going to be saying that through out the whole freaking story.  The bright red and blue material staring him in the face was in direct contrast to his mood. It almost seemed to be mocking him, reminding him that he was supposed to be a strong, confident superhero.
Superman.
He felt anything but. OOOOO! Not only is he depressed, He is a thief too! <G> Just kidding...That part I Loved! So sad. He reached underneath the suit and felt the cool glass of the item he'd carefully stowed away, and pulled it out.
Lois's picture. Awwwwwww, OMG! Rach
Me: what are you looking at *Snatches pic* OMFG! Dean smeared in peanut butter?! WTF?!
Sara: LMAO it was chocolate!! smeared in chocolate!
Me: LMFAO chocolate smeared in chocolate!
Sara: LMAO the *chocolate* isn't smeared in chocolate!
Me: that's the way i read it. was trying to picture chocolate smeared in chocolate
Sara: ROTFLMAO
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,093 Likes: 40
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,093 Likes: 40 |
Now... considering my author's note... and those of you that know my feedback habits... you wouldn't expect anything but long and rambling for this post, right?? Thought so.  You really, really love to torture poor Clark, don't you? When I started reading WYWG I was ready to put Clark into witness protection, but slowly you've turned me into a convert. Your amazing writing, your amazing... ability to... be amazing. *This* line is one of the lines that sealed the deal for me. I *love* this line. Really. The despair comes across so clearly... really... it's just... amazing. I love you, you know that, right, David? With that great feedback, I suppose I can forgive you for making everyone think this will be 53 parts. And... if for some *odd* reason, this morphs into something that long... well, I'll gladly eat my words. <G> Whats scary is that I recognize so much of what he's feeling. I've felt that numb feeling before, there are days when I just don't feel like I want wake up and face life. Days when I'd rather no one knew I was home. So I can really imagine what Clark's going through. Jenni, I love you forever for this comment right here. I love that you pointed out your favorite parts, too, but this is so great. Not the fact that you've felt this way, obviously , but that I managed to accomplish something I wasn't quite sure I would. I never dreamed I'd get empathy comments. Very good. The description was perfect. I could feel Clark's depression and imagine the way he looked. I have no clue where this story is going but if I have learned anything from fanfic is that all things are possible Thanks, Kelly! I'm glad you're enjoying so far. Oh!! Start me off with a sucker-punch, why don't you… whatever happened to introducing things gently??? Oh, but, mo chara, you left out the rest of your comment! The part right after that said: /me sneaks a peek at first scene of MtbB… yeah… okay… maybe I can't talk I'm just saying... But as much as I have to insist that you're still the more evil one <g>, I really, really *loved* all your comments! From the reluctant snuffles and "Oh, poor Clark"s to the hilarious never-ending begging at the bottom. You never fail to make my day! You did a superb job portraying his despair, pain and feeling of hopelessness. Extremely realistic and heartwrenching! Yay! Thanks, Tricia! I'm really happy that I seem to be pulling this off... so far. <g> I think I already told you that this is even better than Wherever You Will Go, but I'm going to tell you again now. This is so well written - I'm envious!! Whoa... double take... Wendy's envious?! Of moi?! No, must be reading that wrong. Thank you SO much for all your comments... and help, and inspiration, and encouragement.  Good God, Sara. Your turning me into a baby. /me wipes tear. So sorry, Rachie!! Part two up in a bit! Sara
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2003
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Okay, I know I haven't read the first story. But you did tell me it wasn't *strictly* necessary... and I love altworld fics... and I want to see the final product of that thing I've been urging you to write... <g> So yeah. This is fantastic! Sad, but fantastic. Poor Clark. /me gives Clark a hug. Bad Sara, doing this to Clark. Baaaad Sara. Julie <g>
Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
(The X-Files)
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
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Sara I'm just starting this story and it has a very interesting start. I'm glad that there is a lot more or I'd be anxiously awaiting the next post and sending you empty threats . Anyway...Brava! 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,093 Likes: 40
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,093 Likes: 40 |
Thanks, Sheila!!
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