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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Sara! I had no idea you were writing again! Why didn't you tell me, eh???? Anyway, I just read this cute vignette and it's fantastic. Powerful. Emotional. Sad. It really touched me, despite being written in first person. You might convert me on that one day!  Anyway, loved it. Keep on writing. I know you've got more on your hard drive.  Saskia 
I tawt I taw a puddy cat!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Very very nice, Sara. Sad  but very nice. PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Ooh, I loved this: But I don't need this feeling, not really. I don't need the exploding stars and bursting flowers, I don't need the swelling violin chords and the curly calligraphy, I don't need the fanfare and the fuss people expect love entails. I don't need that - but I need the quiet spasm of emotion. ...and I loved this: My reason to fly. My reason to breathe. My reason to live.
My reason. Both very beautiful paragraphs. Yvonne
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Pulitzer
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Very nice, Sara. Good flow, some really lyrical passages.
I did have trouble at first, though, because it wasn't clear to me who was talking. I thought that was deliberate, with the intention that it would gradually become clear that it was someone who wouldn't be immediately obvious. That made it harder for me to put the voice in its proper context. Is this the deceptively reasonable but actually dangerously obsessive voice of Lex Luthor or Kyle Griffen? Is it the sad voice of Ellen Lane, who tried to do her best but never really knew how to properly express her love? For a while, I even floated the idea that this was the posthumously expressed sisterly love of Mayson Drake (talking about seeing "him" in the arms of "another woman"...). Clark was almost the last person I expected.
The tone of it didn't make it easier, either. Though very poigniant at times, it seemed heartbroken, lost, and obsessive. Understandable, I suppose, but not generally things I'd associate with Clark.
So, although I was very impressed with the writing, I found I had a hard time getting into the story. At first, I couldn't figure out who was speaking. Then I couldn't figure out why he was so hopeless, obsessed, etc. I think I'd have enjoyed the whole thing more if you'd established context right at the beginning. I don't see a reason for it to be hidden. Then I'd have been able to enjoy the powerful and eloquent words without distraction.
Paul
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Beautiful and sad. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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That was sad and sweet. Poor Clark...it makes me just want to cry. 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Sara, a new story! I thought it was beautifully poignant, though I do agree with Paul's conclusions. I was also wondering if this was Lex at first. Then I thought it was Dan. Only shortly before you mentioned his name did I think it was actually Clark. Though I believe that Clark would indeed feel this lost and could write something this beautiful, I do think it's somewhat out of character. While he might feel it in a diary entry, I think he would never write this sort of letter to Lois. Clark's always been strong. But here, he's giving the impression that he would be happy to be Lois's doormat. If anything, he'd painfully walk away and never look back. He might be sad for the rest of his life, but he would never let himself be used, so I would omit the parts where he would be content merely being her servant or just being someone she can use. I could see him begging to be her friend again as an equal. He would support her in anything she did as long as she was happy, but he wouldn't go beyond that. Overall, it was very sad but beautifully written. You have quite a way with words... just like Clark.
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Yeah, Lois likes a fight. Cant fight with a door mat, although, Lois might.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
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Yeah, so sue me, I'm late on this one.  I've been busy writing. The difficulty with you - with both of us, I think - is that you've never really felt - felt, not *been* - loved before. I see that incompleteness in you, I ache with it. I see the empty slot and I wish I could be the missing piece. OH!! I want to look at you and see you happy - happy because I'm beside you. I want to show you how it feels to be loved, passionately - and I want you to show me, Lois. Because I don't know either. I don't know. GAH!!!! You're killing me here!!! Oh so waffy, but with that strong undercurrent of SAD! Please don't push me off that cliff - I doubt my ability to fly back up. Oh, wow! That's... just a mouthful... and I love it.  How do you expect me to hide it when you do something every day that makes me love you just a little more? *choked sob* I need you. Because, you see, you're my reason, and without you I have none.
My reason to fly. My reason to breathe. My reason to live.
My reason. Sorcha!!! *sob* You can't leave him like this!!!! Sara (who's just saying that if there's no sequel... that this provides sufficient evidence as Sorcha as the more evil one!)
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Columnist
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Wow.
That was a really beautiful declaration of love.
I don't know how Lois or any other woman could be able to resist to a man who says these things.
Really beautiful story.
Wow.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Gah! You can't do that. Go fix it! This is wonderfully written, and soooooooo poignant. And sooooo sad. Julie
Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
(The X-Files)
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Pulitzer
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Sara WOW! This is beautifully written.  I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tricia 
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Pulitzer
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Cute story! I admit, I was another person who wasn't sure it was Clark at first... For a while, I even floated the idea that this was the posthumously expressed sisterly love of Mayson Drake (talking about seeing "him" in the arms of "another woman"...). (this is indeed a little troubling the first time around) ...although I was convinced quite easily. Still, it was very nice. You have a way with words, as Roger said (And, btw, I love my first-person-fic every so often!) Keep writing, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Beat Reporter
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*blinks back tears* I am serious, this one made me cry. What is it with your writing? *Nothing* I read ever makes me cry--the occurrence of it is so minute it's impossible to calculate. But once again . . . *sniffles* This one blew me away. So eloquent, yet simple, a heartfelt declaration of love . . . *smiles through tears* I can only say "wow", and sigh in amazement. Keep writing--yours touches me very deeply.
Don't point. You make holes in the air and the faeries escape.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Whoops...  I'm so, so sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this thread... as some of you know, I've been invaded by a birdie from Norway for the past week, and somehow I couldn't find a spare minute between walloping her with pillows for her evilness Anyway, thank you all so much for your comments and constructive critiscm I knew at the start that this story was a bit of a gamble - it has a lot less to do with the actual show and a lot more to do with my need to get something out of my system :p . Paul, Roger, I really appreciated your comments I've made some changes to the story which I hope help the situation. As regards to a sequel... yeah, I'd love to write one, but I have two problems. The first one being that I'm not sure I could recreate the state of mind which I wrote this story in - not sure I even want to :p - and the second and more pressing being that I have absolutely no idea what the heck to write about to satisfy you guys!
Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
Meet Joe Black
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