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Joined: Aug 2003
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,084 Likes: 39 |
Hee... just saving my spot.  Back... You already know that I'm excited about this story, Diane! Everything I've seen of it has just been so full of emotion!!! You have a masterful use of imagery. The visual imagery is superbly done in this part alone. The emotions are tangible and translate directly through to the reader. Wonderful job setting the scene and the sense of impending doom. I've always said that I'm not too huge a fan of the first-person narrative, but between you and Pam and a few others, I've decided I need to change my mind about it. What a fantastic idea to have a story narrated by a character we've never met before, struggling through an impossible situation. The weight of Superman's fate is resting on poor Jake's shoulders. And you've scattered little clues about that make me not so confident that he can handle something like this. What a huge responsibility!  My voice bit at him as I set the air conditioner to full blast. That was good, right, for a fever? Loved this because it shows Jake as human, someone with faults and uncertainties. He's not perfect, and even though he's a dad, he doesn't know what to do in every situation. God, please, I begged. Don't let him die in my car. Not in front of my children. Not again... *This* just kills me. The foreshadowing of something dreadful that happened, something that may color his reactions in how he handles the situation. Superman was dying in my driveway.
I tried not to think about it as I ran for the hose. And wow!! What a place to leave us off!! And what an image!  You've also managed to give us a taste of what Clark's feeling. The little moans and groans and his posture... Intense. Can't wait to read the rest... still haven't seen it all in order.  Sara
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi, Interesting start. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hey Aria!  Aside from Nan's and Jenni's, I haven't read any new L&C fic in years, but Nan informed me that I should read yours. Waking a Miracle was excellent, and Good Samaritan is off to a good start. Post more soonest, please. BrightFeather
“Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.”
--Thomas Moore
"Keep an open mind, I always say. Drives sensible people mad, I know, but what did we ever get from sensible people? Not poetry or art or music, that's for sure."
--Charles de Lint, Someplace to Be Flying
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Ohhhh, fics like this remind me of why I should *never* read fics on the MBs . . . because I can't *stand* waiting for the next part! Sara, as usual, is the master commenter, but I have to say that I love the intensity of it, the way I felt so much in Jake's mind as I read . . . *shivers with remembered delight* So yeah, more!!!!!!!! Please, soon--I'm dying from the wait.
Don't point. You make holes in the air and the faeries escape.
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Anonymous
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Superman was dying in my driveway. Wow freaking WOW!! This is looking to be a cool premise and freaking scary too! Yeah, I'm not really on the edge of eloquence here, sorry about that, but I'm liking what I've read so far and looking forward to more.  TEEEEEEJ
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Ooh, you posted, Diane!! Well, you already know that I love this story. Everyone else is in for a treat!  Everything about this - the way you create the mood through careful, loving use of language, the way you build up layers of meaning, the way you hint at things which might have happened or may still be to come - everything is so, so good. As Sara says, you paint Jake's uncertainty so well. We have the reverse of a normal Superman situation here: Superman is being saved by an ordinary guy. Or, rather, the ordinary guy is hoping desperately that he can save Superman. Yet, somehow, I can't help but get the feeling that the ordinary guy needs saving himself...  Keep this coming! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Wow, Diane! I've seen parts of this, but getting it in context is so much better. <g> There's foreshadowing about Jake's past... sounds like this isn't the first time he's dealing with something like this. And Superman! No, Clark! Poor Clark!  Good thing you got that hose there... <g> Post more soon! Julie
Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
(The X-Files)
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Wow! Very intense, indeed! You know, your style is different from CC Aiken's, but there are similarities too. The biggest is that every word has significance - no wasted lines in this fic, I can tell. Looking forward to more, Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Columnist
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WAHOOO!!!!!!
You posted!<g> YAY!!!!!!! And what a start. I can't wait to find out what else happens.
Rach
Me: what are you looking at *Snatches pic* OMFG! Dean smeared in peanut butter?! WTF?!
Sara: LMAO it was chocolate!! smeared in chocolate!
Me: LMFAO chocolate smeared in chocolate!
Sara: LMAO the *chocolate* isn't smeared in chocolate!
Me: that's the way i read it. was trying to picture chocolate smeared in chocolate
Sara: ROTFLMAO
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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YOWZA! What a hook!  While I sit here on the edge of my seat and bite my nails, I'll just note that Claire lost her "e" once: "Daddy!" Clair screeched. I brought my eyes away from the fallen hero and back to the road just soon enough to swerve away from a lumbering shadow moving across the road. Possum, maybe. I don't suppose I could talk you into Tuesdays and Thursdays . . . ?
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Diane WOW! An excellent start! Tricia 
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
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Really great start, thank you
Sil
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I was looking forward to this after seeing the trailer and as usual you do not disappoint. Great start, I am biting my nails! ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Beat Reporter
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I was waiting for that story since I watched the trailer (for about 100 times ). Great start ! What happened to poor Superman?  , ~Julia 
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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I've been WAITING for this story ever since you posted that trailer...and its just as awesome, if not more than I thought it was going to be...but what's with that TBC? eh? I mean there was was, totally involved in the story when *BAM!!* I ran into that TBC like it was a brick wall!
In this life of froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another's trouble,
Courage in your own.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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I've always said that I'm not too huge a fan of the first-person narrative, but between you and Pam and a few others, I've decided I need to change my mind about it. What a fantastic idea to have a story narrated by a character we've never met before, struggling through an impossible situation. Thank you Writing in first person was somewhat of an experiment for me. I've found it extremely fun and challenging. The idea of writing a L&C story from an original character first came to me when I was writing the prologue for WAM, which involved a third person skit from the eyes of a character named Janice Forrester. Yet, somehow, I can't help but get the feeling that the ordinary guy needs saving himself... There's foreshadowing about Jake's past... sounds like this isn't the first time he's dealing with something like this Yes, this will not be a one-sided rescue operation While I sit here on the edge of my seat and bite my nails, I'll just note that Claire lost her "e" once: Oooh, thank you for the catch! I've corrected it in my master copy, I appreciate your good eyes, I must have read over that a thousand times and didn't see it Thank you all so much I'm thrilled you're all hooked and eager! Also thanks for the feedback on my Samaritan trailer
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
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