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Blogger
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I've posted the first half of this story. Unfortunately I can't figure out what happens next. I know that Jimmy is going to try to get a story and get in trouble, which will suck Lois in, which will suck Clark in, which will let Marie get Lois and Clark together.
What I need are suggestions about what should happen next. (I'll probably do something completely different, but I need ideas so I can get this story moving again).
Also, please let me know if you spot any problems. I'm particularly uncertain that I've obeyed my own rules about what angels are permitted to do, let me know if it looks like I've broken the rules.
Thanks.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hmmm I read it. Interesting but my muse is asleep right now so I'll be no help. keep it going if you can. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Okay, first of all, I have to tell you, that as a character I loathe Mike.  But so far, despite that, you have me enthralled. Your opening paragraph was beautifully invoked, very atmospheric, and I was fascinated by the angels and their world. I might even have to revise my opinion on Mike. And I loved all the little touches of humour - the travel advantages of being an angel, poor Celeste working overtime to ensure Marie survived to the end of her first day and Perry changing his mind on getting Megan back to name just a few. And how nice to see Jimmy - I always enjoy his rare appearances in fanfic; he's sadly under-used. Sorry, Tank. I'm eager to see where you're taking us with this one, Richard, but it's still early in the morning for me, so I'm not going to be much help on suggestions either. I'll no doubt ponder this one over the day though and will come back if anything occurs to me.  LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
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I too loathed Mike, just as Labby said, he was a plot device that was just annoying,(mind you after saying that i have to admit to having used him in one of my own fics, he was there after all<g>) But again as Labby said, the beginning had me totally enthralled and I was fully involved in the story right up to the end. I love that way that you have the Marie character spitting out such earthy bits of wisdom.. that are so true.. now she needs to be there to do some research for LnC when Jimmy is not avail as he is off listening to her advice(fortuitous for her eh? <G>)and then, now that LnC know her... I don't know, Jimmy could have his watch still for summoning Superman...his story could pan out and that is how he gets into trouble. Lois could have another lead on the same story... and that is how she could get into trouble... ending up with Jimmy writting the story with LnC at the end, Perry having to accept it as fait accompli... or I don't know, just get your butt in gear and get writing... I want to know where you are going to take us with this.! 
Marns
~pobody's nerfect
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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Aww, I always liked Mike!  And I'm really enjoying this story. Being an angel has an advantage in travel: you're already everywhere so wherever you want to go, you've already arrived. This is great! Where do I sign up?  Uh, typo: He looked embarrassed, "some angels do become so fond of being human that they are almost addicted to it. Others of us can stop any time we please." Gee, I don't know anything like that... :rolleyes: I really like the wing-tip bending thing -- nice touch! LOL! Great phrasing! I could absolutely see Marie's blithe walk to the Planet, with Celeste's... interventions. She'd actually been trying to move there without walking for several seconds before she'd remembered she now had to walk.  she discovered a real affection for french fries. Aha! I knew it! A temptation even an angel can't resist! I have only one suggestion: WRITE MORE! SOON! please...?
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi, Great part.  What we need is the next part. If you want I can kick your muse. More soon, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Richard A wonderful start! )
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Well, I'm not a Mike fan either , but I was very intrigued by the start to this story, Richard. I'm afraid I don't have any wonderful ideas to give you - my muse is permanently asleep, which is probably one of many reasons why I'm not an author. But I do hope you will be able to continue it. I really liked the humorous bits that LabRat mentioned, and I thought some of your ideas about what angels did were just fascinating. I would love to read more. KathyM
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
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Richard, what a great beginning!! Good luck, and keep up the great work!!!  S (who's going to be impatient waiting for this story to get finished! )
"Well, let's see, so far I've been given a glimpse of ritual crop worship, treated as your girlfriend, and I insulted your parents. No, I couldn't have planned this. Mmm, mmm." -- Lois to Clark, 'Green, Green Glow of Home'
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
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It has already been said several times, but I have to say it once more: Excellent story. More! As to the bit where we should throw ideas in your direction...Well, I'd see that Marie gets in touch with LnC (introduction by Jimmy, or Jimmy being away for his own story, although he maybe should do that outside of work?) Marie getting LnC together...Hmmmm, maybe with some help from Jimmy, an elaborate plan/set-up, seeing as he has noticed the same things about them as she has. A false lead to a false story, LnC ending up in a room/situation where they can't get out. Being forced to talk and reveal their feelings, maybe even a certain secret.... Yeah, and Jimmy should get the job as reporter in the end! Ahh, bad for Perry, two new positions for researcher open in the end  I hope that wasn't too confusing! lol ~Sira
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Richard, I liked your story so far, and enjoyed your description of angels and what they can do, very believeable. Unfortunately, I'm not a writer so I don't really have any ideas for you, other than Marie could get involved with one of their stories or become friends with Lois. I would be interested in reading the rest of the story if you are able to finish it. It started out very interesting.
Mel
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