Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic PSA: Ten Things Students w/Autism Wish Their Teachers Knew

I was forwarded this last week from a family friend who is on the mailing list for Autism Canada. It's brilliant and I think everyone should read it

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Ten Things Your Student With Autism Wishes You Knew
(...and it makes sense for other kids too!)*

1. Behavior is communication. All behavior occurs for a reason. It tells you, even when my words can't, how I perceive what is happening around me. Negative behavior interferes with my learning process. But merely interrupting these behaviors is not enough; teach me to exchange these behaviors with proper alternatives so that real learning can flow.

Start by believing this: I truly do want to learn to interact appropriately. No child wants the negative feedback we get from "bad" behavior. Negative behavior usually means I am overwhelmed by disordered sensory systems, cannot communicate my wants or needs or don't understand what is expected of me. Look beyond the behavior to find the source of my resistance. Keep notes as to what happened immediately before the behavior: people involved, time of day, activities, settings. Over time, a pattern may emerge.

2. Never assume anything. Without factual backup, an assumption is only a guess. I may not know or understand the rules. I may have heard the instructions but not understood them. Maybe I knew it yesterday but can't retrieve it today. Ask yourself:

Are you sure I really know how to do what is being asked of me? If I suddenly need to run to the bathroom every time I'm asked to do a math sheet, maybe I don't know how or fear my effort will not be good enough. Stick with me through enough repetitions of the task to where I feel competent. I may need more practice to master tasks than other kids.

Are you sure I actually know the rules? Do I understand the reason for the rule (safety, economy, health)? Am I breaking the rule because there is an underlying cause? Maybe I pinched a snack out of my lunch bag early because I was worried about finishing my science project, didn't eat breakfast and am now famished.

3. Look for sensory issues first. A lot of my resistant behaviors come from sensory discomfort. One example is fluorescent lighting, which has been shown over and over again to be a major problem for children like me. The hum it produces is very disturbing to my hypersensitive hearing, and the pulsing nature of the light can distort my visual perception, making objects in the room appear to be in constant movement. An incandescent lamp on my desk will reduce the flickering, as will the new, natural light tubes. Or maybe I need to sit closer to you; I don't understand what you are saying because there are too many noises "in between" -- that lawnmower outside the window, Jasmine whispering to Tanya, chairs scraping, pencil sharpener grinding.

Ask the school occupational therapist for sensory-friendly ideas for the classroom. It's actually good for all kids, not just me.

4. Provide me a break to allow for self-regulation before I need it. A quiet, carpeted corner of the room with some pillows, books and headphones allows me a place to go to re-group when I feel overwhelmed, but isn't so far physically removed that I won't be able to rejoin the activity flow of the classroom smoothly.

5. Tell me what you want me to do in the positive rather than the imperative. "You left a mess by the sink!" is merely a statement of fact to me. I'm not able to infer that what you really mean is "Please rinse out your paint cup and put the paper towels in the trash." Don't make me guess or have to figure out what I should do.

6. Keep your expectations reasonable. That all-school assembly with hundreds of kids packed into bleachers and some guy droning on about the candy sale is uncomfortable and meaningless to me. Maybe I'd be better off helping the school secretary put together the newsletter.

7. Help me transition between activities. It takes me a little longer to motor plan moving from one activity to the next. Give me a five-minute warning and a two minute warning before an activity changes -- and build a few extra minutes in on your end to compensate. A simple clock face or timer on my desk gives me a visual cue as to the time of the next transition and helps me handle it more independently.

8. Don't make a bad situation worse. I know that even though you are a mature adult, you can sometimes make bad decisions in the heat of the moment. I truly don't mean to melt down, show anger or otherwise disrupt your classroom. You can help me get over it more quickly by not responding with inflammatory behavior of your own. Beware of these responses that prolong rather than resolve a crisis:

* Raising pitch or volume of your voice. I hear the yelling and shrieking, but not the words.
* Mocking or mimicking me. Sarcasm, insults or name-calling will not embarrass me out of the behavior.
* Making unsubstantiated accusations
* Invoking a double standard
* Comparing me to a sibling or other student
* Bringing up previous or unrelated events
* Lumping me into a general category ("kids like you are all the same")


9. Criticize gently. Be honest -- how good are you at accepting "constructive" criticism? The maturity and self-confidence to be able to do that may be light years beyond my abilities right now. Should you never correct me? Of course not. But do it kindly, so that I actually hear you.

* Please! Never, ever try to impose discipline or correction when I am angry, distraught, overstimulated, shut down, anxious or otherwise emotionally unable to interact with you.
* Again, remember that I will react as much, if not more, to the qualities of your voice than to the actual words. I will hear the shouting and the annoyance, but I will not understand the words and therefore will not be able to figure out what I did wrong. Speak in low tones and lower your body as well, so that you are communicating on my level rather than towering over me.
* Help me understand the inappropriate behavior in a supportive, problem-solving way rather than punishing or scolding me. Help me pin down the feelings that triggered the behavior. I may say I was angry but maybe I was afraid, frustrated, sad or jealous. Probe beyond my first response.
* Practice or role-play -- show me a better way to handle the situation next time. A storyboard, photo essay or social story helps. Expect to role-play lots over time. There are no one-time fixes. And when I do get it right "next time," tell me right away.
* It helps me if you yourself are modeling proper behavior for responding to criticism.


10. Offer real choices -- and only real choices. Don't offer me a choice or ask a "Do you want...?" question unless are willing to accept no for an answer. "No" may be my honest answer to "Do you want to read out loud now?" or "Would you like to share paints with William?" It's hard for me to trust you when choices are not really choices at all.

* You take for granted the amazing number of choices you have on a daily basis. You constantly choose one option over others knowing that both having choices and being able to choose provides you control over your life and future. For me, choices are much more limited, which is why it can be harder to feel confident about myself. Providing me with frequent choices helps me become more actively engaged in everyday life.
* Whenever possible, offer a choice within a 'have-to'. Rather than saying: "Write your name and the date on the top of the page," say: "Would you like to write your name first, or would you like to write the date first?" or "Which would you like to write first, letters or numbers?" Follow by showing me: "See how Jason is writing his name on his paper?"
* Giving me choices helps me learn appropriate behavior, but I also need to understand that there will be times when you can't. When this happens, I won't get as frustrated if I understand why:
* "I can't give you a choice in this situation because it is dangerous. You might get hurt."
* "I can't give you that choice because it would be bad for Danny" (have negative effect on another child).
* "I give you lots of choices but this time it needs to be an adult choice."


The last word: believe. That car guy Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you are usually right." Believe that you can make a difference for me. It requires accommodation and adaptation, but autism is an open-ended disability. There are no inherent upper limits on achievement. I can sense far more than I can communicate, and the number one thing I can sense is whether or not you think I "can do it." Expect more and you will get more. Encourage me to be everything I can be, so that I can stay the course long after I've left your classroom.


*Notbohm, Ellen. (May/June 2005). Ten Things Your Student With Autism Wishes You Knew. Third Variation Strategies, L.L.C. Retrieved on July 30th from: http://www.ellennotbohm.com/ten_things_student_article.html

**emphasis added-PJ

Wow. I wish my teachers in grade school had read this before dealing with me. I have just discovered (within the last year) that I have had a mild case of Asperger's Syndrome all my life. I've learned to compensate over the years, but it was a terrific struggle at times.

You're an angel, Pam. Thanks.

Terry, I sympathise. It's good you learned to compensate but I'm sure it would have been easier & more pleasant if someone had been helping you. I think more people are aware of autism/aspergers these days, but they still may not understand it.

How did you make that discovery, if I may ask? After Michael's diagnosis, we started wondering if my husband has Asperger's. We decided not to persue a diagnosis because we didn't see what benefit there would be. But Michael sure acts like Daddy sometimes.

And the points above are useful for more than just autistic kids. I've had a few of those issues myself, from time to time.

PJ

These are good ideas for any child who has behavioral problems.

But, Terry, I'm amazed that you have mild Asperger's Syndrome and can write such beautiful stories. The kids I've worked with who have Asperger's have a very difficult time expressing emotions. But I suppose the ones I deal with have more severe cases.

I first suspected it early last year after I read a series of murder mysteries by Jeffery Cohen (For Whom The Minivan Rolls, Farewell to Legs, As Dog Is My Witness) whose main protagonist has a teenager with Asperger's. As I read the stories, I noticed that the boy behaved much as I had when I was that age, and he had the same kind of social problems I had (and, to a large extent, still have). In the third book, the author revealed that one of the reasons he wrote the stories was to encourage parents of Asperger's kids (usually boys) to keep moving forward. He also described the "weird kid" in class who wasn't mentally deficient but was just different, and he could have been writing about me.

I went to the website he recommended in the third book and read about myself - well, not me, really, but that's how I was when I was a kid. So I made time to speak to a doctor friend, and he affirmed that I almost surely had Asperger's. So it's not a formal diagnosis, but it's the next thing to it.

I would encourage Pam's husband to find out. It was actually a relief to me that my "differentness' was the result of a recognized medical condition and not because I was flawed or incomplete. And when I make social mistakes - which I still do - it helps me to work past them and correct them because I know why I did what I did. I'm not an idiot!

Nancy, I find that I can express emotions more easily in writing than I can in person. When I write, I have the time to go back and edit what I've put down, and I can try to visualize how my words will be received. I still make mistakes, and I still fail to express myself properly at times, but I've learned by trial and error how to do it. I'm very shy in person and I don't say much, and combined with my height (6'4") I have been accused of trying to intimidate people. I'm not. I'm simply trying not to embarrass myself.

Writing is an excellent therapy for me. I have loads of stories I've never published, and only a select few have read them. One person in my past once accused me of being Vulcan, and when he read one particular story of mine dealing with a lover's reunion after each thought the other dead, he was amazed at what he considered the depth of feeling in the story.

One point about AS (to which Pam's excerpt alluded but didn't specifically state) is that AS people may not show emotions like others do, but we feel them just like others do. It's hard to believe that there's not something seriously wrong with you when people tell you things like "You should act more like your brother/sister/friend" and you don't have a clue how to do that. So learning about my AS let me know that I'm really a human being and not a flawed alien clone.

Oh, the Cohen books? Read the Aaron Tucker mysteries. They're good mysteries with lots of AS info tucked into the corners. And they're funny, too.

Thanks for the tip, Terry. I found them on Amazon and then thought, hang on, I'm poor right now So I requested them from the library instead. Also, he's got a book about how parents & teachers of autistic students can get along without shooting each other, and boy, could I use that one right about now. So I requested that one from the library, too.

About emotions -- you're right; Michael doesn't show them the same way others do, but he feels things very deeply.

PJ