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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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In a thread a few weeks ago, Wendy mentioned: Recently, I've been made aware of one consequence of the focus of attention and resources on one group of - I hate to use the term 'victims', as it implies a helpless state, but let's use it just for this example - victims of sexual assault. The majority of resources for treatment, consciousness-raising, shelter and so on goes to women victims/survivors, and as a result little or nothing is available for male sexual abuse victims/survivors. One of the consequences of this concentration of resources has been that society as a whole, or the sexual abuse 'helping community' in particular, has almost been able to deny that there is even a problem affecting men. Male victims/survivors can find almost no-one to listen to them. They call helplines, only to find the phone slammed down the instant the person on the other end realises they're talking to a man. Women campaigners against sexual violence call all men abusers and refuse to acknowledge that men can also be abused. Sexual assault units are geared to deal with women, and men who are themselves victims can feel unwanted and that they're viewed with hostility and mistrust by the very people who should be trying to help them... because the overall focus is that those who fall victim to sexual abuse are women. And I've just run across an example of this attitude, which I found interesting, so I wanted to share it. Quoting from Don Surber\'s blog : Sexism at the abuse shelter
Britain will cut off funds to domestic violence shelters that don’t help male victims. Fiona Mactaggart, the former Home Office minister, complains.
I am amused by the sexism of women. It seems to me that domestic abuse shelters should help victims regardless of their sex.
Town councils across England are beginning to require that these shelters counsel and protect male victims.
Mactaggart is alarmed. Ap[parently, equality laws include only women, not men.
She told the London Telegraph: “There are some local authorities who interpret equalities to mean that a refuge has to provide for men, not only for women. There are some stupidnesses developing in the system that nobody intended.”
So let me get this straight: Only women need help, not men.
She is not alone. Nicola Harwin, chief executive of Women’s Aid, also called for discrimination.
Harwin said: “Women do appreciate being engaged in women-only organisations. When you have been disempowered and had no control of your life it’s important for a lot of women to see that this is an organisation run by women for women.”
It is a stunningly bogus argument. Let’s get something straight: Domestic violence is a crime. All victims are worthy of aid, not just women. Visit the blog for links to more information. Complaints notwithstanding, I'm glad to see that Britain is working to help all victims. PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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That's very interesting! Thanks for posting this, Pam. I'm glad to see that at last people in a position to do something are making a difference. I'm sympathetic to the view that a woman who has been raped might not want to encounter a man... but by creating male-free environments is that not just acquiescing in the perpetuation of the stereotype that all men are abusers? Wendy 
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Columnist
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Columnist
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I don't think creating a woman only environment is saying that all men are abusers. Face it, if you've been raped by a man it is hard to then have to deal with a man regarding rape. Also for a woman who has been raped or abused by a man, the idea of being in a shelter with men is unthinkable. What will happen is they won't report and won't seek help.
Do I believe men can be victims of sexual abuse. Yes. But I think seperate facilities need to be set up for men. Will men prefer only dealing with other men. I don't know. But I think to be effective that is something that should be looked into. Then facilities set up for men. Whether it is staffed by both men and women the study would determine that. And it might be a good idea to have joint sessions of therapy available for both men and women to attend but neither group should have to attend co-ed sessions.
I do know as a woman I want to deal with women if I was a victim of rape or assault.
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
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I think that's perfectly reasonable, kmar. Separate facilities may make sense. I don't really know how the various shelters are set up; maybe in some cases there could be just a separate area in the same building.
One thing to avoid is the idea of strict equality, with 50% funding for each gender. If 90% of the victims are women, that's where 90% of the money should go. It ought to be needs-based, not dictated from some centralized office somewhere.
Also there's probably quite a lot of work to do on educating people about the *possibility* of men being victims of domestic violence; it's been so stereotyped as the other way around.
(one side note: the former Home Office minister is quoted as referring to "stupidnesses". This is not a real word in American English. Is it okay in the UK?)
PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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