Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic If you have a spare thought...

It's starting to be every two years like clockwork. This time it's my grandfather whose on his way out. Could be this weekend or it could be next month. Both of my grandmothers were actually quite resilient and hung on for a few months, now that I think about it. To make the blanket obvious statement of the night, it just sucks as usual when there's that whole period of just...waiting for people to die. And then there's that whole hoard of friends asking, well how was your holiday? and so far I've held back from saying, well it blew, I spent it with my dying grandfather, but enough about me, what did you do? Sorry if I'm in a bad mood. Anyway, if you have a spare thought or a prayer, I could sure use it.

JD

I'm so sorry to hear that Jen. I feel for you. I've had to live through the death of 4 great grandparents and 2 grandparents... so far. I have 2 grandparents left - but one of them has a weak heart and the other has had Parkinson's disease for 26 years...

I really can feel for you right now, though. My hubby's grandfather passed away last week. Fortunately for us and for him, it was sudden, he didn't have to suffer. And yet, that in its own way can be difficult to deal with. You don't get that one last goodbye with them. But, then again, does anyone really get that one last goodbye? Doesn't everyone wish they could have spent one more moment with them, had one more conversation with them, or given them that one last hug?

Give your grandpa a hug for me and be glad you had that chance to give him that hug.

My thoughts are with you Jen. <hugs>

Yeah, I was glad actually. Even though no one has said anything til this weekend, I knew when I said good bye to him last weekend that I probably wouldn't see him again. I only get to see him about once a year.

JD

((((((((((((((((Jen))))))))))))))))

Hugs and prayers. I know what a difficult time of year this is to lose someone. The eighth anniversary of my dad's death was Dec 20th - and his birthday was on Dec 22nd.

My prayers are with you, Jen. I just went through the same thing a month ago with my Grandma. Now my Grandpa is left alone and his only sister passed away Christmas Eve; making him even more depressed. We always thought Grandpa would pass within a month of Grandma, so I'm glad he's lasted this long, but I know his heart isn't in it. (And to top it off Christmas time is the anniversary of my mother's death who we watched suffer from cancer for way too long.)

Hugs & prayers,
Julie

When I was a kid, I couldn't imagine I would ever die. And what's more, I couldn't imagine that any of my near and dear ones would ever die, either.

And then death sneaks up on you... In my family, Christmas has been a bad time, too.

I feel for you, Jen.

Ann

Sending you hugs, Jen. My grandfather died three years ago after a long decline. The anticipation was the worst part. My prayers are with your family.

I've never lost a loved one at Christmas, but my grandfather passed away on Father's Day, about a month before my sixteenth birthday. Hugs and prayers to you, Jen.

Losing people around Christmas sucks. Not that there's ever a *good* time, mind you, but it's just a greater contrast. My grandma died around Columbus day last year, but who really *celebrates* Columbus day? I've never been invited to a Columbus day party. But when the world's obnoxiously cheerful, and you're, well, not... sometimes it grates. I've been a bit bummed this week myself 'cause my step-dad died last year on Dec 26th. It just changes your perceptions.

It's good you had a chance to see him before the inevitable. I saw my Grandma the day before she died. She was in such poor shape that it almost hurt to look at her, but I'm glad I got to kiss her goodbye.

Okay, I've gotta stop this, or I'll be bursting into tears here at the office...

{{{Jen}}}

PJ

Hugs from overseas.

Although haven't lost a loved one (yet), I do feel with you.

Sorry to hear that, Jen.

*Great big hugs* from up north.

*hugs*

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Thanks a bunch guys, I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to whine about life once in a while. Things are...looking up? Not really, but I think he'll make it through this woodsy weekend treating his kidney failure, which was the first on the list of worries.

Couldn't have said it better myself! I've found the obnoxious cheering rubs off on me eventually. <g> I finally wished someone a happy holidays the other day.

JD

Hi again. Um, they're going to pull the plug on all his machines tomorrow, and they don't suspect he'll make it after a couple of hours. Do you think by this time, people like that are already off thinking about some place better? I'd like to think so...dad's pretty sure actually. Mom called me to go over my weekend schedule, and she told me that technically, he's probably already gone.

Is there ever a good way to find out when someone dies? I used to think it was nice to know ahead of time, but this was the worst one so far. It's like counting down to someone's death. Sometimes I think I would have rather been taken by surprise.

JD

...That's... I don't know what to say, Jen. My sympathies. *hugs*

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Jen, I am so sorry. This is very similar to when my own grandfather died, but even so I have no words of wisdom or anything that will give you comfort. I am sending hugs, thoughts and prayers your way. Lisa

Really it's ok if you don't have a profound statement to change my outlook on life. Especially since I live alone (I just don't count my *crazy* roommate), it's just really nice to know that people have been around and can keep me in their thoughts. Sometimes that just makes all the difference in the world.

Jen,

I really wish I had a profound statement for you. Truth is my holiday sucked this year, too. First the fridge went on the blink on Christmas Eve... had to eat out of coolers all day Christmas, with a house full of people. No biggie! Drudged through the day dog tired, but hey, the kids were happy!

Or so we thought... 17 year old daughter informs me three days later that she's moving out because she's tired of being told what to do! I know it's bad saying good-bye when someone dies. But it was hard for me to watch my only daughter walk out way before she's ready for that step. (And the law says I have to let her go!)

And just to make sure we really had a good new year, we get a call last Saturday that one of my husband's best friends had a massive heart attack on a hunting trip. He was only 51.

Needless to say, we were thrilled to see 2006 go. And we did so sound asleep!

But I certainly know how you feel. I lost my grandfather, and good friend, nearly 14 years ago. His death was totally unexpected. My grandmother died of septic shock in 2002. The family gathered to say good-bye, then we unhooked her from the machines. Yes, I do believe she was already gone. If I didn't have that much faith, it would drive me crazy.

The only other thing I can tell you is to keep in mind that he's probably at peace now and that this pain shall pass. But no one says you have to like it.

SQD (who is glad she has a place to come where others know how she feels)

{{{Jen}}}

Can't think of anything to say -- so sorry to hear this news. Take care of yourself.

PJ