Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic A thank you note

The thing about fandom is, unless you leave it an angry, dramatic huff, you sort of just drift away. You never really get the chance to say goodbye. You'd think that by now, the point would be moot, that there'd be nobody I know left to say goodbye to, but even just a quick skim through the boards shows me at least a dozen names I still know very well. It's also pretty amusing to read those people talking about how FoLCdom was "back then" and to realize that if I'd stuck around, I would qualify as an old timer by now. Yep, I, ladies and gentlemen, am twenty-two, and I'll be happy to tell you about how things were back in my day. We had to walk to school in the snow! Uphill! Both ways! And our mailing list servers were housed in Turkey and destroyed by earthquakes!

I'm very sure that all of you made a bigger impression on me than I made on you, but I've been wanting to do this for years, so here I am. To the majority of you don't have a clue who I am, my name's Jessi, and FoLCdom was a big part of my life from 1998 or so to 2002. And to the few of you who already knew that, hi there. This is a thank you note.

I don't think I could have stumbled across FoLCdom at a better time. (You do still call yourselves FoLCs, right? I don't think I could handle the assault on my worldview if you didn't. ) I was just coming out of the supreme state of awkwardness that was junior high. I needed somewhere I could assert my individuality, to take risks and still feel safe. I realize most people turn to, I don't know, the drama club or something for that kind of thing, but I turned to Superman. My emotional and creative outlet in high school was an online community centered on a comic book hero. You know how, when people are posing for their senior pictures, they're supposed to bring some kind of prop from their high school extracurricular activities? I brought a Superman t-shirt, and maybe people thought it was some kind of fashion statement, but I knew better. Honestly, I couldn't have picked a better extracurricular activity if I'd tried.

FoLCdom, or at least the FoLCdom I knew, is amazing, unlike anything else on the internet. You are creative and eclectic and kind and funny and supportive and intelligent and organized and so amazingly rational. You are the only online community I've ever seen where your supposed flame wars consist of long, carefully worded posts about opinions and ideas rather than cheap, sarcastic shots. Maybe it's changed some since I was around, and maybe it was never really like that at all, but I don't think I can be entirely making this up. I remember there were sometimes these political and philosophical debates that sprang up on the off topic section of the boards, debates about touchy subjects that can bring people to blows even without the security of online anonymity, but these debates were always, always civil. It didn't matter if people had drastically different opinions, and they did have drastically different opinions. Everyone just politely discussed those drastically different opinions. Now that I've been around the internet enough to compare and contrast, I can see the FoLCs I knew worked to create an honest to goodness community, and they did that more effectively than any other online community I've ever seen. Heck, they did that a lot better than most real life communities I've seen.

Back then, I didn't compose nearly as many posts in real life as I composed in my head. I absorbed what everyone else was posting though. This means that I still have an inordinate amount of Superman knowledge rattling around in my brain (Fun trivia that I've still never had the opportunity to use: Jimmy Olsen's full name is James Bartholomew Olsen. Clark Kent's middle name is Jerome. Last I checked, we didn't know Lois's middle name, but a bunch of people thought it would be cool if it were something that started with O, so she could be LOL.) It also means that I picked quite a bit of knowledge from you about how to, well, how to be a person. I wasn't very old then. I'm still not, of course, but I was even younger then, and ridiculously impressionable. You were adults I respected, and, thankfully, if I was going to go around modeling my behavior after a bunch of adults, then I picked the right group. You taught to look at all the sides of an issue. You taught me to treat everyone, even really annoying fanboys who storm in from other fandoms, with the utmost respect. You taught me not to take myself too seriously. You taught me all kinds of positive, mature things about sex. (You might think I'm joking, but I'm not. My parents, like most parents I imagine, remained pretty mum on the whole sex thing, probably out of overwhelming awkwardness at discussing the intricacies of sex with their little girl. I could have picked up my attitudes about sex from my fellow teenagers, but instead I picked up my attitudes about sex from FoLCdom, and I think I got lucky there.) You taught me how to handle constructive criticism. You taught me to take risks, to try something creative, even when I'm a little afraid that what I'm trying is ridiculous. You (or specifically, Ann McBride, my ever-patient beta reader) taught me to when I need commas and when I don't, although I'll admit I still ignore that particular lesson every once in a while. Well, I least I can get it wrong on purpose now.

Obviously, I left FoLCdom anyway, although it's not like it was any kind of conscious decision. I just realized, reluctantly, that reading about Lois and Clark didn't do much for me anymore, and I moved on. It happened right at the end of my senior year, just as I was transitioning into college, so I guess you could say that I grew out of Lois and Clark. But I still never consider any part of FoLCdom immature. Oh, I think some of what I did was immature. There are lines in my fics that make me uncomfortably aware of the fact that, yes, indeed, I was fifteen when I wrote those. But FoLCdom wasn't immature. My involvement in FoLCdom wasn't immature. It was what I needed then, and, honestly, my only regret is that it couldn't hold my interest longer, that I couldn't stay. I eventually moved on to other fandoms, and I learned that fandom, in the massive online-community-of-fans-of-media sense, can sometimes produce higher quality and more diverse work, just because it has a much, much larger pool to draw from, but it will never produce anything like the civil, supportive community of FoLCdom. Honestly, you people are freaks, and I mean that in the very best way possible.

So I'm twenty-two now, and I'm in transition again. I finished my undergraduate degree in May, I'm working on my graduate degree in library science now, and I'm about seven months away from being married. It's hilarious now to think about all those romantic speeches I wrote for fic, because now that I've been the actual recipient of a genuine romantic speech, I can't remember what it was. Yep, my fiance proposed to me, and I don't remember what he said. In my defense, I'd just picked him up from the emergency room a few hours before, so I was already a little emotionally overwhelmed, and it turns out that when someone is actually making a grand declaration of his love to me, I'm too being thinking, "Oh my gosh, he's proposing, oh my gosh, he's proposing," to try to commit to memory what exactly he's saying. I think I'd probably write romance a bit differently if I were doing it now. Less grand declarations, more teasing. It turns out that real couples, or at least real couples of my experience, are more likely to argue about whether or not stegosauruses had two brains than they are to make eloquent pronouncements of their love. Which is good, because constant love pronouncement would get boring after awhile.

And I have thoroughly babbled away from my point, which is this: Hi. And thanks. I know it's just a superhero show, but all of you were real, and you helped shaped who I am today. Thanks for that.

Oh, you know what else? I've still never read an nfic. All those years of whining, and I never even read one.

Wow! Well, welcome back, Jessi. I am fairly new here myself, but everything you have said about this fandom rings true from my experience. So, are you planning to stick around?

(And, if you want nfic, go check out Faustian Barain.)

Jessi! So good to see you around again Even if it is just a fly-by.

Congratulations on your engagement, on getting your degree and in getting into library school - and you need to talk to Sarah Luddy (as was; she's married now too) because she's a librarian now. Sounds like things are going really well for you.

Welcome back, for however long you stick around.


Wendy

Hi Jessi,

Sure, I remember you. I was reading one of your fics this afternoon, as a matter of fact. I joined in 1999, so I sort of qualify as an old timer, too. I sort of wondered where you had gone, to tell you the truth. Now that you've dropped in to say hi, maybe you could keep us in mind. Drop by now and then and see us, okay?

Nan Smith

Jessi,
I remember you with a great deal of fondness. Your stories had a lot of charm to them and you're an excellent writer. Congratulations on your engagement, your academic achievements and surviving adolescence!

Whether you come back to visit once in a while or not, I'm happy you stopped by now and I wish you well!

Best regards,
Irene

Just to say, I remember you too. I remember your stories. Back when you were writing a lot of posts in your head, I'm not even sure I was posting. It took me over a year to work up the nerve to write a FDK email to KathyB--who was, of course, extremely kind.

And to add a note of my own. Similarly to Jessi, FoLCdom meant a lot to me for some of the same reasons. It provided a kid who was transitioning to life in a new country with a place that was countryless. Considering all the pitfalls the internet offers for the unaware and immature, I feel fortunate to have found such a safe place. This was my myspace--I couldn't have asked for anything better.

I think that's why I have to keep popping back in--because you just don't find that sort of thing everywhere.

So, I'm adding my thanks to Jessi's. FoLCs are the best.

Jessi! Long time, no type!

As another person who kind of "grew up" surrounded by the FOLC community (15 when I stumbled upon my first L&C MB, 26 now), I relate to much of what you said.

I'm glad things are going well for you!

I'm relatively new to the boards (and the LC fanfic) myself, but I'd seen the shows during their first run (I was 10-14 then).

I have to say, Jessi, your post made me wish that I'd found FoLC-dom before I wrote my one-and-only Star Trek fic (before I ever even HEARD the term fanfic), and I DEFINITELY wish I'd found FoLC-dom before I found the Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Harry Potter fandoms.

I think I'm a bit older than you (I'm 23 now), but I'd have to say, if I'd found FoLC-dom around my high school years (maybe just after--or even during--the show?), I think it would've changed my life for the better.

So, thank you for posting, and I hope you at least lurk once in a while.

Wow, I have a huge clue who you are. I suppose you could say we de-lurked at the same time, although you did a much better job of it than me. :p I'm also 22 and grew up in the fandom, if you will. But I didn't majorly come out from behind the ficus until first the archive boards were set up, and then finally these permanent ones.

Wait...if you're an old timer that makes me a little old...
(total side trip, does it baffle anyone else how long you've been here? I picked up my first fanfic almost 9 years ago?!)

Anyway it's great to hear from you. I always wonder what the 'old' people are up to.
Jen

Jessi Mounts!

I recognize this name from seeing it mentioned in posts of people talking about 'those old times'

Welcome back! I joined after you drifted away from the FoLCdom, but I understand what you're talking about - when I joined, I was a couple of months short of 15 And I really think FoLCdom has helped shape my personality to a great degree.

Good to know things have been going well for you! I hope you'll stick around

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Hey Jessi!

Nice to see you again! Sounds like you've been making good use of your time away from us, at least.

So, now that you've gotten all this new experience, and found us again... when are you gonna write something new for us?

LOL -- hey, we try!

PJ

While I disagree that this is the only such place (I am privileged to post on a handful of others), it certainly is one of the few.

I'm too new to remember you personally (I joined the actual fandom in 2003, although I've been a fan of L&C since the summer of '99), but I believe I have had the pleasure of reading one or two of your fics. And as someone who also came to FoLCdom at a difficult point in my life, I can relate to a lot of your post.

Thanks for reminding me why I keep coming back.

As a bunch of you guessed, this was mostly just a drive-by thank you. If nothing else, I don't have time to properly stick around. It turns out that when you're in library school, they actually expect you to read. I know; it's shocking. And I'm pretty sure fanfic doesn't count.

It's great to meet new FoLCs, though, and even more wonderful to hear familiar voices. I may be lurking every once in awhile. And in all my fannish wanderings, I learned somewhere to make vids. I won't try to promise I'll write fic, but I just might pop in with a vid someday. I've got an L&C vid I've been dying to make.

Just catching up with this thread,

I was so pleased to see it - good to know how things are going with you, Jessi. Have to admit I had been wondering how you were.
I still remember being blown away by how well you wrote. Hope you continue with it.

carol