Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic need inspiration: INTERESTING metaphores you may use

here are some interesting metaphores found by markers of the yr 12 final exams in my state (each state in Aus currently has there own final year exams but it is being debated whether or not to implement a national syllabus)... anyway enjoy cause eye cried with laghter....


Metaphors Found in NSW Year 12 English essays
> >>
> >>
> >> Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
> >>
> >> He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it.
> >>
> >> She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
> >> room-temperature prime English beef.
> >>
> >> She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.
> >>
> >> Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
> >>
> >> He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
> >>
> >> The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because
of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
formerly surcharge-free ATM.
> >>
> >> The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.
> >>
> >> McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag > >> filled
with vegetable soup.
> >>
> >> >From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an > >> >eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Sex in
the City" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
> >>
> >> Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
> >>
> >> The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry
them in hot oil.
> >>
> >> John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.
> >>
> >> Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only
one
that had been left out
>so long, it had rusted shut.
> >>
> >> The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this
plan just might work.
> >>
> >> The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not > >> eating
for a while.
> >>
> >> "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni
student on $1-a-beer night.
> >>
> >> He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, > >> but
a
real duck that was
>actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
> >>
> >> The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog
>at a fire hydrant.
> >>
> >> He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if
she were a garbage
>truck backing up.
> >>
> >> She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword
> >>
> >> She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
> >>
> >> It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it > >> to
the wall.

thanks for sharing! Been a few years since I've seen this one.

(Although I'm pretty sure at least some of them were Bulwer-Lytton entries...)

Paul

P.S. In case you're wondering what happened to the second, half-finished copy of this thread, I cleaned it up. If you need, you can edit this one by clicking the little "pencil and paper" icon at the top of the post.

hey i dont know where that came from exactly...

it was sent to me by a friend who did the HSC with me in 02

theoretically there are huge infringment/ privacy and ethical issues behind releasing information such as this... i mean no-one is supposed to see those papers except the markers etc.

so dont get stressed out if you thik youve seen them before, they were just meant as a joke

One thing I will say... This one really does paint a picture .

ML

I'm not stressing out. I'm just wondering how authentic it is. It's amusing, and that's the important thing. I'm just not so sure I believe it's from school kids' submitted works. Like I said, I think I last saw at least some of these as contest entries.

Paul

yeah well, as i said, i dont really know exactly how authentic it is, and there is no way which i could find out...


but i still cried laughing

and i still do, even though i first read it 3 and 1/2 yrs ago...

Hmm, I remember some school bloopers. These were some of my favorites:


Handel was half English, half German and half Italian. He was very large.

During the time of the Black Plague, people developed boobs on their necks.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.


There were many others as well, but these are the ones I can remember off-hand. And, hmm, they aren't metaphors. But they are kind of funny.


Ann