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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
rivka Offline OP
Merriwether
OP Offline
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
The Bulwer-Lytton results are in!

Among my favorites:
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"Why does every task in the Realm of Zithanor have to be a quest?" Baldak of Erthorn, handyman to the Great Wizard Zarthon, asked rhetorically as he began his journey began to find the Holy Hammer of Taloria and the Sacred Nail of Ikthillia so Baldak could hang one of Zarthon's mediocre watercolors, which was an art critique Baldak kept to himself unlike his predecessor, whom Zarthon turned into the Picture Frame of Torathank.
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Sphincter, the gladiator, girded his loins in preparation for today's games, glad to be part of the season opener since he hadn't been sure until yesterday that his contract would be renewed, given his slump during the Germans-versus-lions series but he knew that swatting Germans into the lion's pit was trickier than it looked and he told the officials that they should look at his other stats, not just Huns batted in.
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The double agent looked up from his lunch of Mahi-Mahi and couscous and realized that he must escape from Walla Walla to Bora Bora to come face-to-face with his arch enemy by taking out his 30-30 and shooting off his nemesis' ear-to-ear grin so he could wave bye-bye to this duplicitous life, but the chances of him pulling this off were only so-so, much less than 50-50.
And of course, my absolute favorite:
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Sandra had waited and wished for Gary to come sweep her off her feet, feeling just like Lois Lane waiting for her handsome, masculine Superman to come fly her away from the humdrum of everyday life, but Gary had never come, and so she'd ended up with Herman, a man as bald as Lex Luthor with worse eyesight than Clark Kent and the maturity level of Jimmy Olsen.
*blinks* Wait a second! by
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Mary P. Potts
Bradenton, FL
clap That's AWESOME!


Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.

- Under the Tuscan Sun
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761
Thanks, Rivka smile These are so much fun!

Mary! You won a Dishonorable Mention! Congratulations!! party party party It was a great little piece.

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

P.S.: Wait a minute! And what about this one?

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Winner: Science Fiction

Long, long ago in a galaxy far away, in General Hospital born I was, and quite happy were my parents, but when a youngling still I was, moved we did.

Mary Potts
Oneco, Fl
Mary?? Is that you again?


What we've got here is failure to communicate...
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Ooooooooooh, I'd forgotten all about these this year - thanks for the reminder, Rivka. See the standard is still as...er...high as ever. laugh rotflol

And, yes, Mary is somewhat intriguing, isn't she? laugh


LabRat smile



Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.


The Musketeers

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