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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370 |
Wow, this is excellent!  But does it really have to be Dan??? First I thought, I really like this guy. He seemed to be the right one for Lois, I could see how much he loves and his timetravel idea is just the sweetest thing. But then she called him DANIEL!!!  
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 509
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 509 |
sweet and very sad story. Lois and her husband talking and sharing feelings....everything perfect until she called him Daniel. I hate Dan, he is stupid  But I will imagine he is someone else, hehehehe, because your story is so great. I am gonna go to read the next part. Well done  Karla
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great start. More ASAP, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Terry A very poignant, heart-wrenching story!  Tricia 
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
It was sad  Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 107
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 107 |
Well - yes it was sad. And I nearly had to hit the bathroom when I saw the name of the man Lois had married. But in a weird, twisted way, I'm curious to see how this turns out.
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Jeff
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761 |
This was nice, Terry Dan is not my favorite guy, but if he loves Lois so much, I won't complain  Off to read take 2... AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
Wow... this is SO sad... but MAYBE (??) it'll turn out the way we want it to in the end (and when I say we, I speak for those who wish for Lois to be w/ her "soul mate" in the end, not DAN), ick, i hate Dan!! This story is really good, please more soon!!
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Very interesting pair of stories, Terry! I think I prefer this over Take Two, though. However, I agree with Tricia that Clark probably wouldn't have blamed Lois after the tragedy. He might well have walked away from her, but I'd see that as him blaming himself, not her. Just as in Demi's Heaven's Prisoners, he'd feel that he was responsible for his children's and parents' deaths because he should have saved them, and he'd feel as a result that he didn't deserve to be happy - and walk away from Lois. But you can't leave it here. If Dan is thinking of trying to change the past, you have to show us what happens next! You also have scope here to make this a much more complex story - what if Dan's solution doesn't work? How about letting us see Clark's side of things? How is he coping? What if Dan decides to try to talk to him about Lois? You have lots of potential, and I'd like to see this become a longer story. Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,099
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
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Fascinating, Terry! I agree that Clark would probably not blame Lois for what happened, but I could see her interpreting it that way, and since you were working from her point of view that's what we saw. However, I would *love* to see this vignette turned into a long epic where we could have Clark's point of view as well, understand what made Lois think he blames her, how he feels about what happened and how he copes with seeing her on rescue scenes. Also, I need to know more about Dan and why he's so ready to give up on everything for Lois's sake. Your premise fascinates me, so I want MORE!! Kaethel
- I'm your partner. I'm your friend.
- Is that what we are?
- Oh, you know what? I don't know what we are. We kiss and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other's arms, but we never talk about it, so no, I got no clue what we are.
~ Rick Castle and Kate Beckett ~ Knockout ~
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
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Framework4
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