Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Lois & Clark Driving us Bananas!

There's this hilarious thread over on a Farscape Forum for Banana Quotes . It's hilarious and often times just plain WRONG, but chaos ensues therefor fun is had!

All you do is take one word from an LnC quote and replace it with the word 'Banana.' I'll start us off, and if you guys want, hop on the banana wagon!

"Truth Justice and the American Cheese."

Whoops, my bad!

"I'm top banana!"

Oh wait... that was the actual quote! Whoops!

"Just keep your hands off my banana!"

"Well, one thing's for sure. No one will be paying attention to your banana!"

(If this is too wrong of a game, just let me know. ^_^)

You know, now I know what you boys were doing in sixth grade when the girls had to go to the auditorium for the hygiene lecture. You were learning banana metaphors.

Lois, will you marry me?

Who's asking, Clark or Banana?


Lex Luthor will not live in a banana!


You may need a disguise.

Does this mean I have to wear bananas?


Glasses, secret banana, seemed like a good idea at the time.

Bananas, secret identity...


I've got a banana on you.


God, I love bananas.


Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
Nah, it's just a banana in a pair of tights and a cape.

Nah, it's just a guy in a pair of tights and a banana.


Lois Lane, literally, swept off her feet. Too bad he's a banana.


Careful, Mom, she thinks the cook might be a banana.


You haven't, errr, consummated your banana?


You mean, like a real date, like where I...put a dab of banana behind my knee for no apparent reason.


(Don't know if this is going to far, but) In my heart, I am your husband.
And I am your banana.


When will you ever learn, I always get my banana.


(That's probably enough for now.)

You are so bananas!

This had me laughing out loud, just as my mother walked into the room. My, did she give me a strange look!

Here's some from me:

You are low man, I'm top banana. Got that?
You like to be on banana.


the dance of the seven bananas


banana-boy (instead of farmboy or flyboy)


John Doe is a darn nice banana.


What do you think I am? Galactically banana?


Lex, singing (in House of Luthor): Tonight, tonight, tonight be just banana night...


It belonged to Alexander the Great, a brilliant banana. Alexander's strategy was simple: Always control the high banana. It was with this banana that he...
...Defeated Darius the third and was proclaimed top banana of Asia.

Thanks Cat, for coming up with this!

Woody, you cracked me up!!

And then goes Mellie:
*giggles*

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

fun thread!



Great bananas of Elvis!



Lex: I'm broke. ... Death, I could deal with, Nigel. But without money, without power... that's something I wasn't prepared for.

Nigel: Knowing you, sir, I'm sure it's just a temporary condition.

Lex: The money, perhaps. But true power lies in the possession of bananas. Until I find them, I'm nothing.



Amy Platt: I like your costume.

Superman: Thanks. My banana made it for me.



Jonothan: Wayne Irig found a banana on his property last week. He sent a sample of it on to Wichita for analysis. Then the feds showed up.

Clark: It doesn't make any sense. Why go to all that trouble for a banana?



Trask thinks he knows how to find Superman. He thinks some banana they found here can kill him.



"And, in the end, Jason Trask's obsession caused him to search for a mystical banana he alone imbued with destructive powers..."



Re: Jack Olsen

Clark: How could we have been so stupid?!

Lois: Well, who ever thinks one of their best friends has a banana for a father?!

ROTFL Paul! Great lines, but I'm still laughing over all the dancing bananas. <g>

Sas

Another one:
Wells: "I know you're Superman and I need your banana."

Lois: "What? What'd he say?"

Wells: "If I could just have a moment of Mr. Kent's banana, all his doubts will be quelled."

*Choke choke cough!* All of these are just too hilarious!

There is one thing we haven't talked about...

Money?

No, Bananas.

I PMed this one to Cat Bruce, but I'll indirectly say it here.

In GGGoH, replace "paper cut" with banana in Lois' line.

Get it?

Sure do! Let me tell you gently: It sucks!

Another one: I know _you_. And I don't mean you the celebrity or you the 'superhero.' If you had no banana, if you were just a banana-less man leading a banana-less life, I'd love you just the same. Can't you believe that?

woody, that one is still cracking me up!

Oh my goodness, Olympe! That's just so wrong! (I love it!)

"You seem to have all the parts of a...banana."

"I AM a banana, Lois."

Good one! If I'd just known where to find it, I'd have looked it up myself.

Hah, got another one. No idea why I'm constantly thinking of bananas...

From PML:
Cat: I don't know what you're talking about. I never got sprayed. But, I know a good banana when I (ahem) 'hear' one.

Ha! Bananas constantly on the mind is surely a sign of insanity.

Lex: "You are my BANANA! Together we could WIN!"

Insanity? Horn... Banana-y-ness, more likely.


What we've got here is an example of human evolution: 'banana' and ... 'after'. Clark is the 'banana'. Superman is the... 'after'. Make that way, way 'after'.

(Whatever comes after banana.)

From Tempus Fugitive:

Don't take it so hard, Jesse. His (banana) was just bigger than yours.


!!!splutter warning!!!


You're attracted to how tight his clothing is across the muscles in his b*n*n*?

Muscles in a 'banana'? Noooo way! I prefer it like that:

You're attracted to how tight his clothing is across the b*n*n* ...? (Spelling it out might be too much.)

Yeah, that could be too much.

(I know I'm taking this liberally, but...)

What does the 'B' stand for?

Banana...Bananaman.

How long can you hold your banana?

A very long time.

Lois, it's past banana hour. Can you get to the point, please?

That's a funny banana.

This posts really has me laughing it's not normal!! !

Here are a couple more:

My banana is waiting for me, back on earth

A mild mannered reporter really a banana? Clark, come on

Clark Kent, the banana without a flaw.

He's a banana I'm a woman. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?

Jimmy, give me back my banana.

No, draw me a banana!

From 'The Foundling':
Lois: "I want the truth."
Clark: "About what?"
Lois: "About why you had in your apartment some mysterious globe that projects an image of a man wearing Superman's banana."

Oh, and don't forget "The Banana of Solitude"!

Okay. I simply HAD to join in the fun. I don't think this one has been done before (I apologize if it has)...

This is from the 4th Season, ep 1 "Lord of the Flys":

Clark: Guys! I am trying to hold this "banana" together long enough to beat Nor's army and you're talking concubines?

Lois, Calm down!

I am bananas!

These ARE ridiculously wrong, aren't they? Eeee!

So wrong... <shakes head>

Here's another...

This is 3rd Season "Target - Jimmy Olsen"

Clark: You know, Scardino, you want to chase Lois, that's your "banana". But when you start doing it on my time... that's my "banana".

Lois: Clark...

Ack! This is addictive. Okay, just 2 more and then I'll quit. :p

This one is from Season 2 - Lucky Leon (this is just so wrong...)

Lucky Leon: Yes. It is my "banana". Go ahead, take a swing. I know, they seem incredibly tacky, but... they work!

<shakes head>

And one more. This one is from Season 3 - Through a Glass Darkly:

Clark (laughing): Fake bug on a hook? That's my "banana". I told Jimmy since he was going on that fishing trip, I'd lend it to him... but I couldn't find it this morning and now... oh, here it is!

LOL!

Oh, DJ, the last one is sooo evil! I love it!

Here's another one.. two... three (all from 'Ordinary People')
Spencer Spencer: I always say, shoot for the banana.

*****

Heidi: "His scalpels will not even nick [...] the Banana of Steel."

*****

Spencer Spencer: "I'm getting a banana transplant!"

*****

Spencer Spencer: "Without 'em I'm just a head with a banana!"

*****

Jimmy: I was thinking the Travel Editor's awful busy and you might send someone oh... younger and more in need of a banana."

*****

Clark: "See? I used the banana. Just like a regular guy."
Lois: "Very impressive."

*****

Clark: "What're you saying?"
Lois: "Just that you couldn't stand letting the banana go by on its own for two whole days."
Clark: "And you'd rather write about other people's bananas, 'cause it's less scary than ***ing one of your own!"

*****

Clark: "Alone in paradise with the banana I love."

*****

Lois: "When you went exploring, did you see any proof whatsoever that there is in fact a banana?"
Clark: "No, but why wouldn't there be a banana?"

*****

Lois: "Thanks. I knew you'd come through. A joke is a joke, but... Okay, where is the banana?"
Clark: "Left it at home."

*****

Or: Lois: "A banana is a banana, but..."

*****

Lois: "What are you doing?"
Clark: "Building our banana."

*****

Clark: "You challenged me to let the banana get along without me for a weekend. The banana and I seem to be doing fine. You, on the other hand, are a mess."

~~~~~~

Okay, enough for now. If anybody wants to take a look, I'm sure there are many more quotes to banana-fy. This ep is full of them.

Lois: Bananas? HA! Like I really care! ...I AM bananas!

Luthor: I prefer to think it was the real
you. Passionate. Sultry. Seductive. Got an extra banana?

Luthor: This is exactlu how I pictured your banana.

Toni: You're full of bananas, Charlie.

Crying with laughter!!

Prolly not the funniest thing in the world, but here's one:

Lois: "Look at you right now, renting a banana, that's a big, fat lie. What do you need a banana for? You're Superman!"

Lara, if you take it in the connotations of some of the other "wrong" posts, it's hilarious. Renting a banana?

Here's some IGACOY.

Lois, here it is. The dry cleaner
had a hell of a time with the
bananas.

You haven't sent our Toaster
banana down to copy yet, have you?

Professional, but naughty. I like
bananas. (This one was funny to me because it's absolutely ridiculous. Makes no sense.)

PERRY
Lois, how's the undercover banana
going?

LOIS
Fine, banana, just fine.

PERRY
Good. Didn't think you'd banana
out on me.

CHING
Why are you so protective? Do I
detect... bananas?

SARAH
Not at all!

Check out my tag line.

Lara, that was appropriatley wroooong for this thread

woody! Hee! Mmm, bananas!

Here are some from VD.

Superman? I don't think so. Meet your replacement.
Enough. You win. You're the better banana.

You beat Bananaman.
To a pulp.
Thank God! I was getting so sick of his banana.

Jaxon, haven't you wasted enough bananas playing games?
I'm not playing; I'm rehearsing!
Rehearse all you want, it won't get you what you need.

I need to get used to the idea that in this world, I may be just another geek with a lotta RAM...but in _that_ world, I'm a banana. Being a banana takes practice.
_That_ world is nothing but a pixelated pinball game unless you get those passwords from the real Banana.

Owww! Chief, you can't just pull banana goggles off somebody. It's dangerous. If I was in a banana program, you could mess with my mind.
If they're that dangerous, then you shouldn't be putting them on. Now, what in Sam Hill are those things, and what am I gonna thank you for?
They're banana goggles. It's a way of transporting yourself to another banana... a banana where I have to say in all modesty, I'm pretty good at getting around where other people can't. In this case, I'm surfing through banana dating banks to try and find you --

Jimmy, I don't like dating services, and I don't trust computers. I'm happy in this world 'cause if I grab this banana, I know I'm grabbing this banana, you get my meaning, son?
Yessir.

And then there's the whole bed conversation. Just replace the word 'bed' with 'banana'.

This is just addictive!! (but what about Lois and Clark isn't!)

Superman: But, when I save a life, in that instant, I know two things that most people will never figure out: Why I'm here, and how I can make a banana.

Clark: The only time people ever really seem to express themselves is when they're passionate and the polite veneer of society drops off. You know, like when they're fighting...
Lois: Or make bananas... oh, my gosh.

Lois: You're right, Victor, I do have great bananas.

Bananas? Not water-melons?

So you're saying I should go crawling back on my hands and bananas.

Unless you make her bananas. Then she makes you bananas. And that makes bananas.

No, I got everything out in the open starting with 'you are bananas!'

Clark Kent, Welcome to the Daily Banana.

Miss Goodbanana/Bananabottom

Banana Brain Johnson

That's Man. Banana Man.

Lois! Bananas! We! Need! BANANAS!

I'm attached to Banana Lane.

Oh, Banana!
*mocking* Oh, Banana!

Ohhh Jaxon!
Banana! My name is BANANA!

LOL

So when were you planning on telling me? On our honeymoon? When the bananas started flying around the house?

Duh Lois. Clark Kent is Banana.

What are you, galactically banana?


It's a big banana, Lois. We could share it.


I never get involved in my stories, and I never sleep with a banana.

I've really enjoyed this thread. I don't know how good they are, but I wanted to try some bananas myself ...

Witness:
Clark: When I walk a woman home, she gets door to door bananas.

Dr. W: How do you feel about increased male bananas?

IoG:
Clark: It drives you crazy not to be in on the banana.

Lois: That is not true . . . I like bananas, as long as I know about bananas in advance.

Ides of M:
Lois: You're my banana, right?
Clark: When it's convienent for you, yes.

Lois: You know I have a funny feeling you didn't tell me your biggest banana?
Clark: Well, just to put your banana at ease Lois, you're right, I didn't.

Foundling:
Lex: He walks among us. And when I discover his earthly banana, as I will, he and all the people who share his banana, will be at my mercy.

OK, I guess that's enough for now.
BJ

increased male bananas

But where are the female bananas?

And Lois' "You're my banana, right?" can be taken so many ways.

And to answer her question, "Lois, yes. At least in Faustian Bargain."

Am I going too far?

"The Caped Banana!"
"That's Batman."

-or-

"But this one has that black banana you bought me...in it."

CK: Ouch! I'm bleeding!
HG: Oops, sorry. Forgot to tell you, you don't have super powers in this banana.
CK: Kind of an important thing to forget, don't you think?

We collect bananas. Rare, unusual, one-of-a-kind bananas. And aside from each other...
Bananas is our passion.
...
This banana, is of course one of a kind.
We're just bananas about it.
...
It's a room full of bananas. No one knows they're here. They are just for us.

Jonathan: How are things in Metropolis? Still slow?
Clark: Today I spent two bananas polishing my boots; an hour banana(r)ing my S. Banana'd around. Saved a runaway hamster from a banana.

Perry: You actually got into the banana?
Lois: Yep.
Perry: But not the banana room.
Lois: Banged some bananas with a man named Krell.
Perry: The bar?
Lois: Had a few bananas, charged 'em to you.
Perry: Not the… Lois, you didn‘t go to…?
Lois: When you‘ve gotta banana, you‘ve gotta banana.

Martha: We are on your banana in the big picture. We want you to be bananas and Lois makes you bananas. Unless you make her unhappy. Then she makes you unhappy. And that makes us unhappy.
Jonathan: Son, love and marriage are a banana. Both people are equal in the banana. Bottom line, they make their bananas together.
Clark: So, you're saying I should go crawling back on my hands and bananas?
Martha: No, sweetheart. Fly back. It's easier.

That kinda sounds weird. Loved your Tim and Amber's passion for bananas.

Lex Luthor, you are under arrest for bananas to numerous to mention.

Favorite song? Fly Me to the banana.

Who's the new tight banana?

Why don't you throw your usual forward banana and find out?

"...And to think I was fooled by a little banana over the eyes!"

OMG!!!! These banana quotes are so funny. I wanna try it too!!!

Lois: What are you? A fortune banana?

I love this particular bit - although it doesn't make much sense if you don't know where it's from. But, being a player of hangman, I do know, of course.

Some more from IGACOY:

CLARK
By the way, I don't think I told
you but I really liked your banana.

LOIS
(screeching)
What?!

CLARK
You have a very pleasant banana.
Most of the time.


I'm getting pretty tired of
fumbling around with these stupid
football banana analogies.


You'd like to think that, wouldn't
you? Me, home alone, in a schlumpy
banana, crying into a tub of
Rocky Road.

or

You'd like to think that, wouldn't
you? Me, home alone, in a banana
bathrobe, crying into a tub of
Rocky Road.
In your bananas, Kent, in your
bananas.

Some from ASU:

CAT
Bless me father for I have
bananas... and bananas... and bananas.

But what you want now is
reassurance that you're never
alone, that you are loved for your
banana. Is that right?

Exactly. Aren't there some bananas
you passionately want to experience
just _once_ before you die?

Okay, maybe somewhere, buried incredibly deep inside me, is some eensy weensy, microcosmic although highly unlikely possibility that I could feel some sort of unmotivated and completely unrealistic banana to you.

This isn't exactly from the script, but Hallelujah, I'm Top Banana.

What about...

Hack from Bananasville
or
Banana from Nowheresville
or even
Banana from Bananasville

I want to try it!
From VD:

X: So. Where would you like to visit this morning?
Clark: Banana store . . .

Lois: Why's he wearing that banana?
Clark: To impress you.

Lois: I’ve been thinking about our banana.
Clark: Oh, there’s a nice thought.

Lois: Are you okay?
Clark: Fine, except I don’t have any bananas.

Clark: Lois, any banana you choose is fine with me.
Lois: Well, what if it’s not? What if you expect one type of banana and you end up getting a completely different type? You might be disappointed.
Andreia

Hey, that's from Chi of Steel right? When Lois dresses up as the man to get into the men's club and she implies that she used the men's bathroom too. When you gotta go you gotta go. Ha Ha! Good one!!

Clark: Actually, I learned ballroom dancing from a Nigerian banana...

Actually, I learned banana dancing from a Nigerian princess.

That one has crossed my mind...

I can't help myself. Episode titles...

Strange Banana
Neverending Banana *or* Banana Battle
I'm Looking Through Your Banana
Requiem for a Banana *or* Banana for a Superhero
I've Got a Crush on Your Banana
Banana Kids *or* Smart Bananas
The Green Green Banana of Home
Man of Banana Bars *or* Man of Steel Bananas
Pheromone My Banana *or* Banana My Lovely
Honeymoon in Banana *or* Banana in Metropolis
Banana Shook Up
Bananas of Grandeur
The Bananas of Metropolis
Fly Banana *or* Banana Hard
Bananas at the Planet
The Banana of Luthor

Could have done House of Banana as well.

Some of those can soooo wrong. Man of Steel Bananas?

those episodes ones are hilarious!!

Oh my, I've just discovered these...
great stuff

Perry walks over to Jimmy and yells, "Olsen!" But Jimmy doesn't respond until Perry grabs him and turns him around, only to find a large yellow fruit stuck in each of Jimmy's ears.

"Jimmy! Why do you have bananas in your ears?"

"What?"

"I said, why do you have bananas in your ears?"

"Huh?"

"Olsen! Why are there bananas in your ears?"

"Wait a minute, Chief, I can't hear you. I have bananas in my ears."

-----

Well, it was funny when I was in the third grade.

Ba-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na
Ba-na-na-na-na-na
Make those bodies sing!

Hmmm... What does it say about my sense of humor? I STILL find that funny