|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430
Beat Reporter
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430 |
Comments go here Thanks again for the wonderful feedback!
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
I just wanted to say I've enjoyed what I've read so far! I fell behind some time ago and will hopefully wait for it to hit the Archive so I can read it over again in one go.
Thanks for sharing it with us! JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 845
Features Writer
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 845 |
Wohooo, Congrats Diane! I confess I read the last part without reading many others. I am very late on my reading. But this is the part I loved. "But, sir." Nigel quirked an eyebrow upwards after taking a sip of his champagne. "No one looks down on you. You're a king in your tower, and no one can touch you."
Lex looked up at the sky, noting a small blinking light that traveled along the skyscape. A lone firefly buzzing along in the bleak world overhead. He saluted the departing plane.
"Only until someone learns to fly, Nigel. Only until then..." Oooo I just love Lex. And this was an excellent line, Diane. I haven't read any Fanfic that actually ended with Lex giving the final line. And such a great one. lol. Congrats again, Diane. From that complicated plot you once showed me, Things turned out all right. You are a very talented writer! Keep them coming! MDL.
"Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you."
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 552
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 552 |
YAY!! You finished the story. And I loved it. Very very nice hon. But do I smell a sequel? What?! No? OH CMON!! You know you want to do it. Okay sorry I have a thing with peer pressure. But I loved the story hon. I hope you plan to write something soon. Rach Oh and excuse my wife, she is obsessed with lex. She is always happy if lex is in it. Rach
Me: what are you looking at *Snatches pic* OMFG! Dean smeared in peanut butter?! WTF?! Sara: LMAO it was chocolate!! smeared in chocolate! Me: LMFAO chocolate smeared in chocolate! Sara: LMAO the *chocolate* isn't smeared in chocolate! Me: that's the way i read it. was trying to picture chocolate smeared in chocolate Sara: ROTFLMAO
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Wow!Diane, this was excellent from start to finish! As I've told you many times, I love the way you write Lois. You capture her just perfectly. The entire story is just so full of witty lines and clever twists that I'm in awe. And then this final scene with Lois and Clark... it's WAFFy, angsty, funny all at the same time. And you've left them just on the cusp of something more than friendship, and did it just perfectly too. Erica already commented on those last lines, but I have to quote them too: "But, sir." Nigel quirked an eyebrow upwards after taking a sip of his champagne. "No one looks down on you. You're a king in your tower, and no one can touch you."
Lex looked up at the sky, noting a small blinking light that traveled along the skyscape. A lone firefly buzzing along in the bleak world overhead. He saluted the departing plane.
"Only until someone learns to fly, Nigel. Only until then..." Most intriguing!! So I definitely smell a sequel here. We have to get Clark past his fears about going public, of course, and into his Superman costume. And we have to see Lex learning how prescient his semi-idle remark was. Great stuff, Diane! Now get this on the Archive! /me rushes off to make some additions to her Kerth list Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
|
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Yay! Nice wrapping Jose (expecting your next story
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
just come home... YAY!!! what a gift! back in few hours for a proper comment! simona
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 151
Hack from Nowheresville
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 151 |
Very nice. I've read every single post of your story, thought I haven't been posting comments at all. Me bad. :p The only bits I didn't like about this story are the loose ends (Trask and Thompson) that you didn't tie up properly. I know they are in jail, but they (and the rest of Bureau 39) know about Clark Kent, and his superpowers. Maybe I'm a psychopath at heart, but I wish you had killed off Trask and Thompson metwin1
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part. Soon will be a new hero. The inside cover read, "Jason Trask," in horrible, barely-legible, scratchy print. And the majority of young Mr. Kent's life unfolded before him on the aged pages that followed. He eased back in his chair, sighing heavily as he closed the book and laid it to rest on top of the crisp map that lay unfolded across his desktop.
The map was of the state of Kansas. There was a large red X scribbled shakily in permanent marker, just outside the town on the side of one of those back roads that folks hardly ever traveled. The ship would be safe there. No one would ever find it. Except Clark. When he was ready.
"You have friends," he scrawled in looping cursive on a small sheet of notebook paper after he took a sip of his coffee -- a light mocha blend. No caffeine.
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Nice job! Great wrap up and I loved the last scene with Lois and Clark hugging..AW!
~Liz
Lois: Can I go? Clark: No. Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go. Clark: Then why do you ask? Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi, I'm another one of those readers who have fallen behind with commenting on your story, and I have to apologise. I enjoyed this version of Lois and Clark's universe very much. Trask and Thomson made excellent villains and I didn't know which one I hated most. Trask was obsessive and insane, while Thomson was cold and calculating. I'm glad they ended up destroying each other. Your Clark was less confident and outgoing, but that was completely understandable given Trask's persecution of him. I did enjoy your writing of Lois. She was fiesty, intelligent, witty and yet she had a softer side too. I do sense a sequel and I'd be very happy to read it. Yours Jenni
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 184
Hack from Nowheresville
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 184 |
Aria, I loved this. It was such a different take on the whole Superman thing, and I really wasn't sure where it was going to end up. I suspect you're lining up a sequal... which is good Thank you, Helga
Knowledge is knowing that tomatoes are a fruit.
Intelligence is not putting them in a fruit salad.
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Nice ending. I really love Lois and Clark in this. But I also loved the way you ended it with Lex's last comment. Very good! Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Diane This is excellent. Tricia
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430
Beat Reporter
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430 |
Thank you, you all I am really happy you all enjoyed WAM! I had a lot of fun writing the last part, especially. Lois, who started out as a character I dreaded approaching because I was afraid I would get her wrong. The first part I wrote with her in it took me an extra long time to tweak to my satisfaction, but once I had her nuances nailed down, she turned into my favorite character to write as the story progressed. So it thrills me you all enjoyed my characterization of her! As for the loose ends, I felt it would cheapen the victory to let Trask and Thompson kill each other. As much as that would make things easier for Clark, it's oh so much funner this way =p There is also the added revenge dampener of Trask now being diverted back to Thompson, and Thompson being too pragmatic to really care about Clark much. So we'll see how that pans out And yes, I am setting up for a sequel, although, no, it hasn't been written It's a glimmer though! I've started working on the details, making notes, etc. Hopefully my life won't be too crazy and I can pursue it! Thanks again for all the lovely feedback and support
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
I love your story Aria! like everyone, I like very much your Lois, and Clark's pain is so well painted! He is incredulous that someone can really like him and love him, but Lois is working on it, so very soon he'll believe it. So, we'd like to know how it's going to happen, how their relationship will develope, when Superman will be in the Metropolis skies, what's about Luthor vs. Superman... This is screaming for a sequel! Simona
|
|
|
|