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ethnica Offline OP
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POST! hyper POST! I'm on the edge of my seat here.

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Nan Offline
Kerth
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Kerth
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This sounds like a slightly different premise from other stories, to say the least. laugh

A beta reader should be able to help you with the mechanics of writing. I saw a few errors, but they're easily corrected. In any case, I'm interested in seeing where you take this.

Nan


Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
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“You *know* me? I don’t think so Lois. All you see is the flashy superhero, the ‘god in a cape’; you who investigate for a living have a blind patch bigger than Texas when it comes to your personal life. What about Lex? Do you *know* him too? He’ a criminal Lois. A murder. But all you see is what he wants you to see – the charming, rich man. Is that all you’re after? His money? My glamour? If that’s what you’re love is, I’ll pass.”
Ouch! A bit harsh, but you know what they say - the truth hurts. I wish Clark *had* said this that night. Who knows what would have happened?

I guess we're about to find out. (/me continues reading...)

Quote
As the first rays of dawn began to illuminate the interior of Lois’ appartment the usually neat and tidy lounge room looked as though it had been ransacked. A broken lamp lay next to the skewed coffee table, which was covered in shredded newspaper clippings. The bold primary colours of red, blue and yellow were scatted haphazardly over and around the table, as though swept aside.

The source of the broken lamp could be seen lying upside down against the closed windows. The once pristine cover of a scrapbook hung limply from its binding, the contents ripped out.
LOL! Yes, this is just the reaction I would expect. Lois tears her Superman scrapbook to shreds!

Quote
It was only as Lois realised she was about to pour herself a drink of wine that she began to calm down. Horrified at what she was about to do – turn to alcohol just like her mother, that Lois tipped the contents of the bottle down the sink, before taking herself to bed.
smile1 I thought she had drunk it! Good for you, Lois! Glad to see she's not following in her mother's footsteps.
Quote
Lois didn’t know what was worse, that Superman had turned out to be just a man after all, or that despite his newer and much lower rank of ‘man’, she still couldn’t stop thinking about him.
I liked this part. thumbsup Poor Lois.
Quote
Lois looked for a plan of action. Obviously her relationship with Superman was no more. There was nothing she could think of doing about that, nor did she want to have to deal with Superman or her feelings for him. That left Lex Luthor. A criminal.
dance Alright! Now we're getting to the good stuff... Investingating Luthor!
Quote
Normally Lois’ first reaction would have been to turn to Clark, but that relationship was also too raw for her to visit now.
frown Too bad. I wish she *had* turned to Clark.

Very interesting premise, Mouse! I can't wait to see where you go with this...

- Vicki


"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi,

Great start. smile1


Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF

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