Due to a hasty Scheduling Change Quiz #2 will now be BEST COMEDY. Quiz #3 will be BEST WAFFy (1-50K) Stories. What that means for you is that cutoff time is now mid-day Tuesday (PST), so you'll have time to answer both quizes. I apologize for any confusion.

Hi FoLCs!

This is Kerth Quiz #2 - Best Comedy. (See above note, regarding scheduling change)

Instructions are blatantly copied/linked from last year’s Kerth Quizzes.

SPIFFY DISCLAIMER THINGY! All the stories featured in this quiz qualify for the Best Comedy, but this quiz is not a stamp of recommendation for nomination. There are other stories which qualify for this category, but this quiz only covers 10.

Recommendations for other eligible stories are *very* welcome and encouraged!

QUIZ RULES: Two points for getting the story and author from the quote; one point for getting it from the excerpt. Specify which is which, or you'll automatically get one point instead of two. Open hard drive and archive, *don't* forget to snip the excerpts in your replies, and don't forget the spoiler space when you post in the replies thread.

The DEADLINE for entries for this quiz is Tuesday, January 22th 2012, by 11:59 a.m. (PST)

More elaborate quiz instructions can be found here .

Please post your answers here .

Good luck!
Virginia

B

E

S

T

*

C

O

M

E

D

Y

QUOTE #1:
“This has got to be mine.” The vehemence in Cat’s voice startled Lois just a bit. She really didn’t care if Cat did win this one — as long as Linda King didn’t.

QUOTE #2:
Lara retorted, “I’m not the one that was left in charge! You better find her before Mom and Dad get back!”

QUOTE #3:
“Oh, you can’t miss it,” said the blob. “It’s just down this hall, past the intersection and around the next corner.”

QUOTE #4:
Clark lifted his head and looked at Herb. “I’m supposed to wait until you give me the ‘okay’ for something. Do you know what this means?”

QUOTE #5:
"You were... babysitting?"

QUOTE #6:
“Hey, CK, check it out!” Jimmy said, coming over to his desk. The man pointed at Clark’s computer. “You ever Google yourself?”

QUOTE #7:
Lois just mumbled, "How could I DO that? How could I have been such a fool?"

QUOTE #8:
7: Kill Superman! Or get rid of him some other way.

QUOTE #9:
“Maybe I could be your secret girlfriend?”

QUOTE #10:
“I think perhaps we should see each other on a regular – more exclusive — basis. My dear, you have such fire, such drive, the uncanny ability to transcend the mundane. You possess the *raw* potential to become so much more than a mere newspaper reporter. To ignore such talent would be a terrible pity.”

S

P

O

I

L

E

R

*

S

P

A

C

E


EXCERPT #1:
Lois became more aware of herself and was beginning to be able to focus on something besides her pounding head. Her neck was stiff. Probably from the angle her head rested on her desk. And for some reason, there was something in her hand. She finally pried one eye open to check it out. She was holding a pair of scissors.

EXCERPT #2:
All of the toilet tissue was off the roll and the end was in the toilet, as if the flushing of the toilet was being used to pull the paper off the roll and the water was running in the tub with the stopper in. Fortunately it hadn’t crested the sides as yet. Jon prevented a disaster by quickly crossing the room and turning the water off and pulling out the stopper.

EXCERPT#3:
“In fact,” Lois went on, oblivious to his sudden distress, “I bet they might even enhance your features a little. Make you look smarter, more sophisticated…” She smiled at him, clearly studying his face intently. “In fact, I think I can just picture—” She lapsed into silence. The smile faded.

EXCERPT #4:
Why? Why hadn’t he just turned around and walked out of the Daily Planet when that beautiful brunette walked into his life and kissed him? He could be happily married… Oh, what was he thinking? There was no way he could have ever been happily married to Lana Lang. He sighed. Just because all these crazy things happened to that other Clark and his Lois didn’t mean those things or anything like that would happen to him and his own Lois. He lifted up the notebook again.

EXCERPT #5:
Clark was between a rock and a hard place here. On the one hand, he could run. Nobody would catch him. But it would leave the media making as many guesses about Superman as they wanted, each assumption more ridiculous- or closer to home- than the last. But on the other hand, what could he say to defend himself? He suddenly realized he had been quiet for just about a whole minute, unresponsive. He had to say something…

EXCERPT #6:
"Hey! Lex was nice to me!" Lois protested. "Well...at least, before he decided to blow up the newspaper in order to manipulate me," she added quickly. "And before I knew that he'd tried to kill you. Or had me cloned. Or tried to take advantage of my amnesia. Hmm...okay, objection withdrawn."

EXCERPT #7:
Ralph interrupted her. “Whoa! We didn’t do the dirty. Not that I hadn’t thought about it — your sister is a hotty. But ten minutes together was enough for me to realize that she wasn’t mature enough to handle a man of my sophistication. So I dumped her.”

EXCERPT #8:
Been there, done that. Yawn. Geology is boring, unless you own the mineral rights. Memo to self, find out about mineral rights to Grand Canyon.


EXCERPT #9:
Okay, so that wasn’t what was bothering her. Surely it wasn’t because of the scene where Superman rescued Linda from the Omiri embassy? That was pure fiction, just like the kiss between the painfully wooden actors playing Linda and Superman. He was almost insulted, but the situation — the whole movie, really — was so far from any kind of reality that he very much doubted anyone could believe it had actually happened. Clark was about to ask if that scene was what was bothering her but something in her posture made him hesitate.

EXCERPT #10:
“Really, my dear, come, join me in the shade of my tent and have a chilled mimosa. It is so much more comfortable and refreshing than lying on a coarse blanket drinking lukewarm lemonade,” Lex Luthor said, smiling down at her. As usual, he looked very suave yet casual. The bright white designer polo shirt and hand-sewn knife-pleat khaki pants he wore probably cost more than she made in a week. For the past hour or so, he had moved around among the various corporate movers and shakers, pressing flesh and discussing any number of projects or deals. Still, it was intriguing to observe him and other members of Metropolis’ society mingling with the ‘common herd.’


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.