Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related The Right Time to Tell

In general, here on the boards, we seem to unanimously agree that in TOGOM, Clark should have let Lois in on the secret, no matter the cost.

But excluding that event, when would have the right time to tell Lois the truth? I want the people's opinion.

**Note**: This does not include the right time for Lois to figure it out. This is Clark telling Lois the truth, no ways around it. Because looking at it from his perspective, he did have solid reasoning for not telling her right away. But then when? Later on when she only seemed to care about Superman? When she was going to marry Lex Luthor? On their honeymoon? When's the right time to tell any secret? Particularly with relationships (and especially with theirs, considering how rocky it was), it's difficult to determine when things should come up.

When *should* Clark have told Lois he was Superman?

Just out of curiosity.

I believe we also all unanimously agree he should have told her after she offered to die to save his parents, but before he asked her to marry him. :rolleyes: (Oh, Clark, I love you enough to die for you, but not enough to marry you without knowing that you're Superman first. Everyone knows I think marriage is worse than death.)

Honestly I could see his reasoning behind not telling her during the Luthor arc (unless he had asked her to meet at her apartment in which case, telling her would have been a twofold thing.)

I've always thought her answer during "Metallo" warranted an admission, considering how she was saying Superman was "a lot like Clark." She was seeing many of his attributes in Superman and it obviously struck a chord with him considering how he reacted.

I think during the time of "Top Copy" wouldn't have been amiss (especially AFTER he told everyone else a partial truth.) Her "I know what I think, and I know what I feel" makes me think that she had thought there was some merit to Stride's assertions even with Clark's fakeout and probably would have been a little better about taking it than she might have otherwise because it would have shown how she might have been in danger dating Superman.

Before he flew off during "All Shook Up" would have been a good time (and I believe a courteous thing to do considering his testing of his limits and his seeming unsurety that it would have worked.)

During "Foundling," Lois had been miffed that Clark had held what she had considered important information from her about Superman. I think it might have been a decent time to come clean.

I think there are others but those were the handful that stuck out in my mind.

I've always wanted Clark to tell the secret at the end of whine whine whine. Lois had chosen Clark over Superman and Scardino. It was obvious she wanted a real relationship with him. I think it was his duty to tell her at that point.
In WHALTTA Clark says that he first needed to know that Lois would marry Clark, not Superman or his powers. In my opinion Lois decided she wanted to be with Clark for real at the end of whine whine whine. Why wasn't that enough for Clark? Why did he want her to *marry* him before he could tell her the secret? I feel he should have told her at that point, especially since he had kept Lois waiting (and drifting towards Scardino) and kept disappearing all the time. We all could see how frustrating that was for Lois. If I were her, I'd want to know what was going on.
Of course Clark tried to tell her at the beginning of ATAI...as he should have.

I agree with VirginiaR that he also should have told it before he let Lois give her own life for the life of his parents....luckily she found out herself in that very moment.

Well, I wouldn't say we "unanimously" agree; there is at least one, lone, voice of dissent. Mine.

I can understand why Clark did not tell Lois during TOGOM. He knew she was sad, but he never saw the true extent of her suffering; we did, but he didn't. Many stories have Superman interact with Lois during Clark's "death" but he didn't in the series. Clark flew home, and didn't see Lois again until Superman rescued her from the cement.

It just seems to make sense that he would, at first, not tell her because he was "dead" and what would be the point? and then later he'd pick up where they left off. Especially since this all happened not that long after Centennial Park and her refusal of his love.

As far as telling her before asking her to marry him, that depends. My problem with the show was not that he didn't tell her before proposing, but rather I had a problem with Clark's statement in the Cosco parking lot about how he had to know first that she would choose him over Superman. :rolleyes: As others have said, she'd already done that at the end of WWW.

That said, I always thought it made sense Clark couldn't go around telling every friend, or every best friend, or even every girl friend that he was Superman. When you get right down to it, there could only be one person who he would have to tell: his wife. Until he was sure that his relationship with Lois was going to result in marriage, it made sense to me that he not tell her his secret.

Of course, that did put him in a catch-22. How could Clark propose if he wasn't absolutely honest about who he is? How could he be honest about who is is if he wasn't absolutely sure that Lois would marry him? How could he be sure she'd marry him if he didn't propose?

Vicki

I stand with you. Marriage is about long term commitment, but this particular secret could have gotten Lois killed. Hence, Clark had to be completely sure.

Hold all thoughts for a moment.

Vicki: Yay! A dissenter! I was looking for one of you... that's why I said it "seems" we are all in agreement (I, of course, enjoy playing the role of devil's advocate, so Clark not telling her works out just fine by me). I think you draw attention to an interesting point-- Clark was never there to see Lois' pain. If he *had* seen it, then I agree that he should have come out and told her the truth (well, even that can be circumstantial-- depending on how he comes about seeing her). But the crucial part is that he didn't and that changes everything.

I agree that he should have told her probably by WWW. But think about it this way: if the secret wasn't about something positive, such as Clark being Superman, and instead was about Clark being wanted for murder (I'm talking in the extremes here), would you still wait to tell? What makes it okay for Clark to wait so long before telling Lois the truth? The dual identity (in which case, the argument of "I want her to love me for me, not just the escaped convict version of me" does not apply)? The fact that it's sort of a good secret, and not a bad one? Where's the line?

I'm battling that same thought process for my story, Mouse. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

In my own mind, when trying to come up with another "secret" that couldn't be told to just anyone, I came up with the witness protection program. Supposedly, you can't tell ANYONE. But I always thought there was one person I'd tell - if I were to get married while I was a "protected witness", I believe I would feel I owed it to my husband to tell him. The problem is, you don't want to marry under false pretenses, but on the other hand, the only person you can tell the secret to is your spouse. So you wouldn't want to wait until you were already married, but you still have to be darn sure this person is going to be your spouse before you can tell them.

I don't think it matters whether the secret is good or bad. The deciding factor would be, is this a secret you can tell your really close friends, or is it a secret you cannot tell anyone but your wife (or your immediate family).

I'm updating my response. My sympathy towards Clark not telling Lois his secret until after proposing is based on my assumption that he has never told anyone. (Alt-Lana knows, but then Alt-Lana is engaged to Clark, and it is never explicitly stated if she found out before or after the engagement.)

Some stories have a young Lana in on the secret. If one assumes Clark felt the secret could be shared with Lana, then yes, he should have told Lois sooner, IMHO.

I think one aspect that is often overlooked is that once Clark tells his secret to someone, he can never, ever take it back.

That person knows. Forever.

Regardless of how their relationship might change, that person knows.

Think back on your own lives. Have you had really close friends at certain stages, but you are no longer that close to them anymore?

I think most people imagine they will/could marry their first boyfriend/girlfriend, but few do - which is why I think Vicki's point about waiting for marriage is valid.

I've had an idea for a story called 'Too Soon' for a long time. In it, Clark tells Lois 'too soon'. The reason I haven't written it is that I can't come up with a happy ending. For me, telling her too soon would cause a lot of damage to their relationship - possibly even more than telling her too late.

Corrina.

I'll weigh in with my two cents.

I believe that Clark should have told Lois at the end of Whine, Whine, Whine, or at the beginning of And The Answer Is. Barring that, he should have (and I believe *would have*) told her immediately following her response to his proposal, provided that she said yes. And if she hadn't figured it out before he could tell her, she may well have said yes.

Telling Lois in Season 1 would have been a disaster. Though I don't believe she would have run off to make it into a Pulitzer story, she *was* dating Lex Luthor. Now, I don't for a second believe that she ever would have spilled the beans to Lex, but we all know that he used subtle ways of spying on her. It would have been far too easy for him to figure out the secret in those early days.

That would have put both Lois *and* Clark in danger. Plus everyone else, like Jonathan and Martha. We know Lex makes threats against them after he comes into the know during the ARGH.

Telling Lois in TOGoM would have been cruel.

To fly to her apartment while she's grieving and go "Hey, guess what, Clark's not really dead because he's also me, Superman!" would have hurt her a lot. Because, like Clark says, to the world, Clark Kent was dead. It would have been unfair to drag Lois into a life of hiding away, and possibly making her fake her own death, in order to pursue a life together. And if she *wasn't* in a place where she would have run off to be with him, she would still forever carry the knowledge that he was alive but would still never be able to see him again in the capacity of her best friend.

Also, in that vein, Clark knew Lois was taking his death hard, but he didn't ever actually see the depth of her despair. He flew directly to Kansas after getting dumped from the car. And when he went back to Metropolis, he was staking out the movie theatre waiting to capture Dillinger. He didn't see Lois at all, in any way, shape or form, between the time he was shot until the time when Superman pulled her out of the cement, which was after he'd figured out a way to be "resurrected."

Now, at the end of WWW, he knows for certain that Lois has chosen him over Scardino. That would have been a perfect opportunity to clear the air with her. But I think he was still in shock. Lois had just declared to him that she'd given up on her "dating Superman" fantasy. And he fully expected, with everything that had gone on, that she'd chosen Scardino. So nothing could have surprised him more when she showed up at his door telling him that she chose him out of all "three" men.

I think he was too afraid to rock the boat at that point.

I love the fact that he was going to tell her before the proposal. That would have been the perfect time. But then, everything happened at once. Mazrik revealed that he knew. And Clark's parents were kidnapped. All of a sudden, Clark wanted to tell Lois but didn't have the time to do it.

Let's face it, Lois would have had 10,000 questions for him, even if she *wasn't* an award-winning investigative journalist. It would have, again, been cruel to go "Oh, by the way, Lois, I'm Superman. Oh no, I don't have time to answer your questions or to care for your turmoil of emotions right now. My parents might be killed." Or worse, "Okay, Lois. I'll freeze you. You might die though. And, oh yeah, before I do, guess what? I'm Clark!"

Where Clark possibly made his misstep was *after* all the Mazik stuff. He takes Lois for a walk and proposes, without her knowing the secret.

However, it is my belief that he was still recovering from almost losing her. He might not have intended to propose that early on. (I know my husband bought my ring in October and didn't propose until early December.) But almost losing Lois brought him into action. He also would have been painfully aware of the fact that revealing his secret would have had the potential to rip them apart. He could have lost Lois from it.

So, all in all, I think the reveal came when "nature" intended it to come.

*But*, I would not have complained if Lois had stayed in the know after Tempus made the reveal.

As for Lana, I don't buy into her being in on the secret at all. In fact, I see her (from the Alt World) as being too self obssessed to pay too much mind to Clark's weird quirks, other than to be annpoyed by them. And I really, *really* don't buy into the idea that Clark would have ever told her. I think "our" Clark was a lot stronger of a person than Alt Clark. He never would have buckled to any demands that Lana might have made to know what was going on with him.

It is also my belief that, on some level, Clark *wanted* Lois to know from a lot earlier on than he realized. I think he subconsciously planted hints around that he and Superman were one and the same, like a criminal who actually wants to be caught. How many times did he say something that had more than one meaning? How many times did Superman repeat something Clark said, or vice versa? He might not have been aware of it, but he was giving her the puzzle pieces almost from the time they met.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it, although it *is* fun to play around with the reveal (coming ealier or later than the series reveal) in fics!

I have to jump in here with an excuse for why Clark might have told Lana his secret: teenagers are naive and lack foresight. They do stupid, risky things all the time. Why would Clark have been immune from that kind of dumb move? He would have regretted it later, of course. Maybe even be embarrassed that he revealed something so personal prematurely. That would make him doubly careful about it as an adult.

I'm not saying it must have happened--just that it wouldn't be unreasonable if it did.

Very true. However, we know from Martha that Clark was 13 and decided to always keep his differences a secret. And he grew up with the idea that he would be "locked in a lab and dissected like a frog" if anyone ever found out. So I can't see him willingly telling anyone, especially overbearing Lana.

That's in canon dimension. We don't know that canon Clark ever told canon Lana about his powers. It's also very possible that canon Lana and alt-Lana had very different personalities.

Alt-Clark told alt-Lana (I assume) for two reasons. Either because he asked her to marry him, but I'm guessing he told her earlier than that. Alt-Clark had nobody else to confide in and after years of dating she either saw things or he confided in her because she became as close to family as he had known since his family died when he was 10.

Yes. I could also see that maybe Alt Clark kept ducking out on Lana and (unlike Lois) she sat him down and demanded an explanation from him. And Alt Clark, because of a different life experience, couldn't find it in himself (for whatever reasons) to refuse. Alt Clark really did let Lana sort of boss him around.

I think they were right on track with him telling her during ATAI...just before he proposed! He should have found time to tell her between all the inconvenient phone calls and interruptions, especially before he froze her. She was risking her life for his parents! I think that showed him how much she loved him and that she would do anything for him. When she confronted him about robbing the bank would have been perfect.

In reality, yes. Though, if that were true for LaC:TNAOS we would have never had the Wanda Detroit, Dr. Dieter amnesia episodes or the Memory Wipe Kiss in S2, for that matter.

I don't know how far ahead the writers were planning but I think they came across as sloppy attempts to allow them to continue to use the same plots rather than take the opportunity to explore new aspects of Lois and Clark's relationship. (Parts of Soul Mates were like nails on a chalkboard to me for the same reason.)

I agree with your Shallowford about the "Soul Mates" ep. It grated on me in a way at times.

I know I'm a month late on this post but I thought I would add my 2 cents. I always thought he should have told her in the eyes have it. After that first night when it was looking like it wasn't temporary he should have come clean. It's not like he was going to be able to stay at Lois's apartment permanently dressed as superman trashing her apartment. She deserved to know who she was really helping.

Now to TOGOM, I don't think it was the right time. I'm not convinced that she would have been overjoyed at his not being dead. She was already hurting and the truth would have added to that hurt. I do wonder though if anyone has written a story on what they would have done if Lois was already in on the secret when he got shot. How would Lois react and would she be able to act appropriately to all of their friends who thought he was dead?