I had an idea for an interesting story with a twist that I’d never seen. Writing is the only way to learn to write so I started writing. That was a year and a half ago. I’ve reached the point where I need help to get further.
What I have:
• The first half/third of what I think could be a good story.
• Kryptonian physiology figured out in pretty good detail--Thanks to Bob Bartholomew for some really good discussion!
• 30 pages of scenes and outline/ideas for 15-20 more.
• A good B plot or two and ideas for A plot(s).
• A stack of 8x10 color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on each one. (actually a lot of story research)
•
Absolutely no idea where this is going or how to go about wrapping it up. My situation:
• I'm a newbie writer with a science background and a passion for hard SF.
• I can only able to write 2-3 times/month due to pesky RL issues but I have a ridiculous commute and a lot of time think things through.
• I have a good command of the English language but a soft spot for run-on sentences.
What I (think I) need:
• Someone to read the thing and tell me if it’s coherent or not.
• Any help brainstorming to figure out where things might go would be appreciated.
• Advice on whether I should break the story into shorter versions or vignettes and if so, where it would make sense to do so.
• Because of the speed I’m able to write, either someone with the patience of Job or someone willing to BR as a one-off thing.
This is the opening scene of my first story, Proud of My Son. Yes, there is a WHAM but I've tried to make it as painless as possible. I hope you enjoy the tidbit.
Shallowford
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A glint of morning sunlight squeezed itself through the crack in the parlor curtains and splashed onto the floor in the Kansas farmhouse, the reflection faintly illuminating the kitchen. The kitchen, although meticulously clean, had an air of disuse about it. The coffeepot left on the stove, a bowl and spoon on the countertop, a mug not in the cupboard, no flowers in the vase on the table. It felt like a place that had lost its purpose.
A man strode through that shaft of light, momentarily highlighting the kitchen in blue to complement the well-worn jeans he wore. He busied himself drawing water into the coffeepot and replacing it on the stove. A cupboard door creaked, followed by the sound of cereal pouring into the bowl. The refrigerator contributed its light to the room as the man withdrew the pitcher of milk and added a serving to the contents of the bowl. Seating himself at the table he bowed his head for a long time either praying or just gathering strength for another day. He ate in silence. As he was finishing his cereal the phone rang.
“Kent residence” he answered.
“Good morning Father. How are you doing this morning?”
“About the same. Fair to middlin’, I guess.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. You must still be eating your own cooking. You can’t eat that chili forever, you know. Maisie has been begging me to convince you to eat in town more.”
“I’ve got things to do on the farm, son. I can’t just drop everything to run to town for a meal.”
“When was the last time you had a decent meal?”
“Let me see...”
“It was the last time I was home, wasn’t it?”
“You know I never could cook like your mother.”
“Which is why I try to make it home as often as possible. Tell me--are you worried that Maisie will discover your post-harvest obsession with The Ivory Tower? I saw the television listing laying out the last time I was home.”
“I’m disowning you. Tomorrow. I’ll make an appointment with Jordan Fredrichs and write you out of my will. ”
“Look, you know you need the company as much as the food. Please make time to take care of yourself.”
A grimace came across the man’s face. “Maisie’ll have me gossiping like an old hen, but I’ll try.”
“Thank you, Father. By the way, have you seen the news? Superman has been having a very good week. I cannot thank you enough for the idea. It was worth the trouble it took to have the costumes made discretely.”
“I’m sure Martha couldn’t have done better. If you had an aura as strong as Clark’s I guess you wouldn’t need to replace them so often but I guess the fewer people who associate you with Clark these days, the better.
“I think I have some good news for you by the way.”
“Son, good news is welcome anytime.”
“There’s a scientist at STAR Labs that thinks he has found a way to drain away Clark’s powers. We’re not sure if it would be permanent or not but if it works it might be enough time treat him—maybe even to find a cure.”
“You’re a good boy, Lex, but you be careful around the Son of Jor-El. As much as I love him, you and I both know how dangerous he can be. So tell me, what have you found?“
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Interested? Curiosity piqued? Willing to read more?
