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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2003
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Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
(The X-Files)
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Only seven parts?  Labby you have to pay more to your Muse  Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 446 |
"When we get back to Metropolis," said Lois conversationally, "I'm going to slice Perry White into very, very small pieces. Probably," she mused with a certain degree of malicious relish, "with that brass and silver letter-opener he keeps on his desk. You know, the one with the lyrics to Love Me Tender inscribed on the handle?  Inspired! Labby, what they said!! In particular: 1. I, too, love Robert Frost's poetry (particularly "The Road Not Taken"). 2. stranded in the middle of nowhere and Clark's powers are intermittent at best What kind of Kryptonite was it, I wonder? Maybe a mix-- erratic effects... 3. I am a little worried about his leaving her out there with the lions and tigers and bears Yeah, and you know how trouble just loves Lois! 4. But that's all I can say...beta's vow to keep her lips sealed Lynn, how much influence do you have on, say, posting schedules? 5. Loved the milking pigs part! 6. Tank (who thought it would be funny if Clark, in trying to warm up the car, would have heated the gas tank too much causing it to explode) You're evil! So is Roo's hubby. 7. I love the writing style!!!!!!! The vocabulary - thumbs up: Yes! This is a "keeper" already. You hooked us in quickly and powerfully, kept us all engaged throughout this section, and did a very nice job of introducing new ideas and crises (the location of the stranding, the iffy powers). I'll be waiting, lined up with all the others, for more! ~Toc
TicAndToc :o)
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"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
-Elayne Boosler
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
just caught up with your new story and already I love it!  Only seven parts? are you really the same author of "Masques"? Oh, well, this posting schedule will be a torture, so if your story were longer then this... Only one thing left to say: in this part of the globe IS Tuesday! (hint, hint...  ) Simona 
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
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First, it was how you dropped us right into the middle of it, right off the bat, and pulled away bit by bit, word by word, until we had this crystal clear picture of exactly where Lois and Clark are, literally, but also where they are in their relationship. Then the banter which you capture note perfect. A combination of funny and smart and affectionate underneath. Here: "Don't they have *cows* in Venezuela?" Lois interrupted with a frown and then, her expression changing instantly to exasperation, "Don't answer that." She glanced skywards, rolling her eyes. "Why am I even asking?" she implored the heavens. " And here: "I'd have thought you'd have learned the basics by now. One of those skills a good reporter needs to know?" he prodded. "You know, the ones on that list you printed up and left on my desk my first day at the Planet." But really, the last bit...Clark headed back towards town. The cold and the darkness mirroring his own sense of dread: He paused in the darkness, listening to the silence, thick and heavy-laden with the promise of more snow to come, and sighed. He watched the puff of breath show white among the darkness for a moment before it faded, and then morosely, he shrugged the collar of his coat higher around his neck and moved on. Ah man, Lab. I could just be so jealous. So horribly, terribly jealous. But I won't. Really. It's just so good that I'll only admire it...with the occassional white hot twinge of envy...an entirely different thing than being jealous. Wonderful. CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Whoa. Thanks for the wonderfully encouraging 'welcome back', everyone! I'm delighted you enjoyed this first segment. I'm especially pleased that so many of you made special mention of the snowbound atmosphere in this first part. My main aim here was to get across that atmosphere of smothered wood and deep snow so beautifully depicted in Frost's poem – the 'sweep of easy wind and downy flake'. I was less than convinced I'd actually made it though. As my betas will testify to, having been forced to listen to my constant whining about it not being right.  So it was nice to see that it worked for so many of you. You know, I wondered as I read this why not just put the car in neutral and push it slowly into town. It'll take a long time, but at least they'll both be closer to town...I know, silly idea. I don't think it was a silly idea at all, Nancy. I considered it but decided it wasn't viable. Which, all things considered and as you'll shortly see was probably a good thing as, as things turned out, it would have been a lot of wasted effort for our heroes. It's obvious you have a plot happening Well…just a teensy one. And I got rid of it as soon as I could. Honest. It will be interesting to get Lois' POV. It's bound to get dark and she's a target for introspection whenever she's alone. Sunkist, you tickled me with this one.  Oh, well…if you insist. Okay…walk this way… LabRat ![[Linked Image]](http://www.sg1archive.com/forums/html/emoticons/scotland.gif)
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great start.  Is not good to leave Lois along. Put like that it seemed such a simple, uneventful thing. Not the shocking, frightening event it had been. A...problem. Something which could be solved, overcome, surmounted...
He had had no warning. No inkling that his day – his life – was about to change. That the resurrected green ghost of kryptonite would insert itself into his world like a sliver of thorn beneath his skin. OMG! More ASAP, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Posts: 1,168 |
Oh, it was never intended to be nfic, Julie. Right from the first page, I was absolutely determined this baby was going to be gfic and gfic only. Blame the rumours on Wendy, then. <g> Julie
Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
(The X-Files)
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Is not good to leave Lois along. Certainly isn't. Thanks for the fdk, Maria! LOL, Julie. I think Wendy was naturally lulled into the belief that this was nfic because that's what she's beta'd for this author every other time in the past. In fact, there was an amusing moment when I sent her the 'final' draft. When I got it back, I emailed her to ask if I'd remembered to ask her to check for straying over the pg13 limit and was she sure there wasn't any nfic in there. At the same time, Wendy apparently had just thought to wonder where the nfic was in an nfic story and was about to mail to ask... LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Posts: 52
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 52 |
Hi, everyone! I've been away from here for such a long time (  ), I was VERY excited to see a new story by Labby! And as I anticipated, it was great (and I've only read this part so far!) - interesting premise, with snappy, witty, totally fun dialogue. I LOVED Lois's tirades, and was falling off my chair at the "milking the pig" part. Off to read part 2. I miss you all!! Vicki
The world is made up of three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Hey, Vicki! How lovely to see you back again.  Glad you enjoyed part one! LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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