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Well, I don't know exactly how I happened to remember the old fanfic quizzes, but I did. And I thought I'd revive them with starting a category we hadn't done before. Rules: Extracts must be taken from L&C fanfics. They can be whole scenes, paragraphs or a couple of lines (if they're definitive enough). They also must be pieces you find funny (no matter whether they are taken from a comedy or they are random funny scenes from dramas). First person to correctly identify where the extract is taken from gets to post the next scene. So, let's see who can identify this one: In the tiny changing room, Clark looked at the clothing in his hands and thought of the absurdity of the situation. He had to take off a suit, put on one just like it, and pretend to be his alter ego. See ya, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Ooooh, excellent idea, Anna! No time to try for this one - supposed to be downstairs watching Saraha with Stuart <g> - but I'll be back at some point! LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly. Aramis: Yes, sorry. Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Hee, I love these things! I guessed this one almost immediately, went to look it up (this is open-book, right? ) and confirmed it. This is It\'s a Thing He Does at Parties by Jude Williams Okay, this is probably way too easy, but here's one bit that gets me LOL every time... Clark blinked. "Drunk ... nah." He paused. "I think ... *wasted* ... might be more accurate."
Lois burst out laughing, which quickly brought Clark with her. "Blitzed," she added on a gasp.
"Smashed!"
"Plastered!" PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed. He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement." "You can say that again," she told him. "I have a...." "Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Oh, I love this idea! Anyway, that one's Wine, Wine, Wine by Kathy Brown Back in a few to add my own! Back... another easy one "Okay, now *that's* what I'm talking about," he blurted. "No way I actually bought that...monstrosity! I mean it!" he insisted as his partner looked skeptically back at him. "That has to be someone's idea of a bad joke! I don't care if you're about to tell me I was some kind of kitsch freak in a previous life or...or I spent all my free time at conventions for junk fanatics...you are *never* gonna persuade me that I actually walked into a store and put down good cash for that...that...*thing*!" Sara
Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
Meet Joe Black
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I know! It's Are you lonesome tonight...? by Labrat!!! a new one: "Lois," I say earnestly, "I'm not Superman."
I'm not. It's an impossibility. Laughable. To think I could be an icon like that, to think I could do those things... no. No way.
She regards me defiantly. "Wanna bet?"
I sigh. "I could have dealt with the flying. And the... the freaky baseball bat stuff. And... and whatever else. But... but trust me, I wouldn't... *couldn't* wear those... those *things*!"
She cocks an eyebrow at me, and I pull at the material to illustrate my point. And I moan as I realise what the thing is made of.
"Spandex, Lois?! *Spandex*? You think I'd go out like that in *public*? Flash myself around like a piece of meat in a butcher's shop?" simona p.s. YAY! now I can posting my quiz!
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Oh, that's Sara's For Old Times' Sake (There's no TOC or Archive file for this story, so I'm not linking.) Next one: 1. Dr. K is deathly afraid of teeth. 2. Dr. K has a secret lover and is constantly rushing off for a rendezvous. 3. Dr. K has a split personality. 4. Dr. K is a spy. 5. Dr. K is really Superman and must constantly take off to attend emergencies. See ya, AnnaBtG. P.S.: Of course it's open-book, Pam
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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There's no TOC or Archive file for this story, so I'm not linking /me sits up straight, tail twitching, and looks pointedly at Sara... There is a TOC for it though. It's here And...aha...that's Mary's Tooth And Justice Be right back with another one! LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly. Aramis: Yes, sorry. Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Okay, try this one: Mom glanced at him, then muttered an exclamation, "What is that woman *doing*?" She hastily stuffed her notebook back in her handbag and rushed over. The woman Mom was talking about had put her hands on Daddy's chest and was looking up into his face. Daddy saw Mom coming and he got an expectant grin on his face. The other women surrounding Dad scattered like bowling pins when they saw Mom charging at them and by the time she reached his side, they were all gone.
"Defending my honor, Lois?" asked Daddy with a lazy grin.
"*Someone* has to," said Mom crossly.
"I don't think it's in any danger," said Daddy, threading his fingers through Mom's hair, "... from her."
"Really, Clark!" sputtered Mom. "Clarinda was standing so close she could have been measuring you for a tuxedo. And someone should tell her it's time to dye her hair again; her roots are showing."
"Lo-is."
"I never did like her, anyway," Mom grumbled. Dad pulled her closer, lifting her hair and bending his head to kiss the side of her neck.
"Don't do that here, Clark," said Mom a little breathlessly. She kind of fell against his chest, and put her arms around him like *she* was going to measure him for a tuxedo.
Sighing, I wandered away in search of entertainment. LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly. Aramis: Yes, sorry. Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Oh! That one's the fantastic 48 Hours Without a Superman, by Kathryn Ann Kent . One of my favorites Back in five to add another one Here we are; Mrs Cox flounced out of the scullery then, bringing Linda with her. Mayson crossed her arms and glared at Lois. "Get a move on! You're far too slow!"
Lois gritted her teeth as she pushed the broom around the uneven floor. "It's not fair," she muttered. "Why couldn't LabRat be writing this? Then at least I'd have some decent dialogue so I could tell you what I think of you!"
Mayson smiled triumphantly. "Tough, CinderEllen. You just have to take what you can get." Sara [PS - thanks, Anna and Rat, for reminding me about FOTS - eeeek! ]
Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
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A Lois and Clark Fairy Tale: Cinder(Lois)Ellen and the Prince by Wendy. Shouldn't be too hard: *Bang!*
The sound rang in his ears even as he felt something hit his chest. As had happened countless times before, he had just been shot. Only this time, he was dressed as Clark Kent, not Superman. This was not good. He looked around. People were staring at him. They were expecting something. What was it? Oh, right. He'd been shot. He was supposed to be hurt. "Ow!"
'I just kind of died for you; You just kind of stared at me' - Aurora, Foo Fighters
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Hmm, it seems like I did some mistake while I was searching for that TOC, Labby. Thanks for finding it David's quote is from Paul's ROFLy Bang, Bang! You\'re... not dead? . Next quote: Lucy held her hands up in front of her in an effort to calm her agitated sibling. "Look, I know that it seems to the rest of the world that Clark Kent was shot down in that club tonight." Lucy shrugged again. "But it's not as if he's actually dead."
Lois began to pace while tearing at her hair. "Lucy, what are you smoking? Clark Kent, my partner, my best friend and the most wonderful man I've ever known is dead. He was gunned down right before my eyes!"
"I know what you told me, Lois. But it's not like a bullet can actually hurt Clark. After all, he is Superman."
Lois' mouth opened but no words came out. Lucy had to stifle a giggle, it looked so funny. Then the realization struck her. "Omigod," she said. "You didn't know?" See ya, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Oh, I love this one! That Blind Sister of Mine , by Tank. And by the way, Anna, great idea for a quiz! Okay, here we go: I drew in a long, deep breath, looked him straight in the eye, and told him the stupidest-sounding thing I'd ever uttered to another intelligent being. "Don't ever let your prospective girlfriend think you're dead when you're not really dead. You might think you got away with it at the time, but believe me, there's a huge body of carefully researched data out there that says it's generally not a good idea. In fact, it's almost certain to put your relationship back months, if not wreck it completely."
There. I'd said it. In one fell swoop, I'd wrecked pages and pages of fanfic and made the scriptwriters rewrite half the stories in the second season. Such power! Such craziness!
"Oh, and please tell her that secret," I added, just to make sure he thought I was completely nuts. "You know, that really big one you're keeping from her. Whatever it is."
I smiled. Probably made me look even more like a lunatic. Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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The Ultimate Mary Sue by Yvonne. Another easy one. So, I guess he figured "if life hands you lemons, make lemonade" or something like that. Maybe more like "if life hands you lemons, laugh maniacally and use the chemical energy to power your evil device." Anyway, he sent his zombies to our house. Of course. Somehow, these things always end up coming to our house. I'm not sure exactly what he was thinking when he sent them -- probably looking to kidnap Mom, but who can say? - - but whatever it was, I ended up with zombies in my room.
'I just kind of died for you; You just kind of stared at me' - Aurora, Foo Fighters
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And that's another story by Paul, Zombies Ate My Homework . (No, David hasn't been passing me his answers, I promise!) This shouldn't be too difficult: "Shit, Clark, did anyone ever tell you you're the most obtuse guy on this entire planet?"
"Yes, George," said Clark. "You do. All the time." See ya, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Ooh! Damaged by Yvonne Connell! I win! Okay, try this one: "You do know you're enjoying this a little too much, don't you?" "You have to be smarter than the stove, Superman." <snip otherwise it's way too easy > “...can use my vision, but it won’t taste as good.” “Use your...? Oh! Cool! Do it. I want to watch.” Sara
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That's CC's In a Better Place, isn't it? Speaking of stories that really really ought to be on the archive... Alright, try this out: Lois approached him. "I hope we can still be friends, Superman."
There was a visual "ouch" from the audience after Lois delivered that line. The "kiss of death" line. The "let's still be friends" aria that marked the ringing down of the romance curtain. The fabled "fat lady" had not only begun to warble for Superman, but did so while standing on his chest with six inch Kryptonite heels.
Superman took both her hands. "Always, Lois," he said softly.
Lois stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. "Always."
He released her hands, and lifted into the air. Lois looked on admiringly at Clark's ability to fly forlornly. She sighed and walked back to her desk and began typing anew. The news room remained eerily quiet. PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed. He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement." "You can say that again," she told him. "I have a...." "Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Stuck, are we? Well, I try to avoid being too easy with these clues but I guess that was too hard This was from Ultra Matum by Zoomway. Okay, how's this one: "Unless you're from San Francisco---"
"---We doubt that purse is yours."
The mugger swallowed and, for lack of a better plan, waved his gun at them. "You kids s-stay back! Hear?"
Martha gasped. "Oh no, Lara! He is going to shoot us! What EVER shall we DO?"
Lara brought a hand to her cheek. "Oh, if ONLY we were---I dunno---bullet-proof super-powered semi-Kryptonians or something!"
"Oh wait a minute, we ARE!" PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed. He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement." "You can say that again," she told him. "I have a...." "Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Oh, that's Mary Pott's hilarious Now THAT\'S What I Call Art. "What?" Lois demanded, suddenly outraged. "That's not fair! You can't have a contest without a prize. I won!"
Clark placed a hand on her flailing arm, trying to contain her. He guided her hand back to the receipt, then shook his head as she scrawled something that looked more like Egyptian hieroglyphics than her signature.
"What a rip," Lois muttered, shoving the paper and pen back to Jerry. "Last time I enter a contest in *this* place."
Jerry looked a bit deflated, but after a moment, his face brightened. Reaching behind him, he grabbed a blue plastic cup, added some ice, then filled it up with water. He handed it to Lois with a smile. "There you go, Lois. Here's your prize." Try that one. <g> Saskia
I tawt I taw a puddy cat!
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this is the funny and lovely Tea totaled by AnnieM and Kathy Brown! Back in a few with a new one... Ok, this is from a story I love: Two steps later, though, Lois stopped. Her eyes widened in disbelief as something occurred to her. Then she stomped her foot and let out a yell of aggravation. "Lois, what did you just do?!" she berated herself aloud, the sound of her voice echoing off the alley walls. "Someone just tried to mug you, and what did you do? You beat the crap out of him. What were you thinking?!"
She shook her head in disbelief. That, clearly, was the problem. She *hadn't* been thinking. If she had been thinking, all she would have had to do was place a loud and frightened, "Help! I'm being mugged!" and the very man she was after could have been standing right there in front of her.
She had blown it. Blown it big time.
Lois turned back to her would-be assailant, who was still out cold. Maybe she could wake him up, ask him to try again? She could promise not to beat him up this time if he would let her yell instead. simona
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Oh, I do love that fic, too! It's The Long Road Home by Erin Klinger! Try this one. It's as easy as hilarious! Two hours later, they had the results. It seemed that all the Lex sightings started at a sewage grating in the middle of Centennial Park. Clark quickly spun into Superman, and was down the manhole in minutes.
To his surprise, he was surrounded by Lex Luthors! Big ones, small ones, bald ones, ones with full heads of hair! "Superman!" they cried out in chorus. "Now we can defeat you once and for all." All of the Luthors started converging on a metal box in the corner, then began fighting as each one tried to be the first to open the box.
Within minutes, many of the clones were covering black eyes and bloody ears, and still trying to swing at each other.
"That's enough!" Superman yelled. He shook off his amazement and flew across the tunnel. He shoved the Luthors out of the way and welded the box shut, telling himself to make sure Lois got it later.
The Lexes, all suitably angry, started attacking Superman. Seconds later, bodies were flying. *Whomp* A Lex slammed into the floor. *Thump* Five more hit the wall, leaving Lex-sized imprints in the brick. Andreia
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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