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LabRat Offline OP
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Well, Taivas, you've given us another intriguing segment here and I'm fascinated to see where this is leading.

I'm considering you for evil author status for pulling me once again into a waffy romantic mood with your developing relationship between Lena and Clark only to then drag me back into the present and the knowledge that it's doomed to fall apart. whinging But you have me hooked and I'm keen to find out exactly what went wrong and whether it can be fixed.

Again, I love the sense of atmosphere you envoke.

More please, soon as you can!

LabRat smile



Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.


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Quote
He never understood how another human being... in his case, another sentient being...
Ouch. frown That is one unhappy Clark.

Like Labrat, I love the way you set the mood. It was so easy to picture Clark moodily dunking the teabag in the hot water while he stared out the window. You do a marvelous job of creating atmosphere.

Quote
Even as he thought that, he could hear a small voice in the back of his head saying, 'Yeah! Get in trouble with her. Go for it.' He promptly smacked the voice on the top of its head.
...And then we get a line like this. goofy

I was fascinated by the dichotomy between "Lena's" voice and mannerisms when she spoke about her parents, and the reality of her heartbeat. What an interesting clue... if only I could figure out what it means. goofy

And then the revelation. Well, the way Lena refuses to give in even an inch does make her seem to be Lois, as even such trying circumstances, she insists on bargaining with Clark for information. I'm still trying to determine if this is Lois undercover for good reasons, Lois undercover for illegal reasons, or not Lois at all. Please hurry up and post MORE, so we can find out! laugh

Hazel, who is enjoying this elseworlds immensely


Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.

-- Action Comics 827
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Ditto LabRat and Hazel, Taivas! I'm really enjoying this story. You have a real gift for describing a mood, and this story is touching a very poignant, dark mood in Clark's life.

The other two have said what I felt about the sections with 'Lena'; I'd just like to add that the reference at the end to@

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Looked like it was a job for... a job for... whoever he was these days.
made me so sorry for Clark. smile1


Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Big OOPS <author wears big embarrassed grin> on leaving in one of Labrat's (excellent) comments in my text. It has been fixed. Thanks for your comments.

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Pulitzer
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Hi,

Great part. thumbsup

Get in here now. sad

Part 1:
Quote
Their whole relationship had been a lie that she had fed him. In the end, she only wanted to use him to get what she wanted. He hadn’t even known her real name until those last few moments.
confused So Lois use him. How?
She toll him her real name.

Quote
He still hadn’t settled on what to do in the next couple of weeks about living arrangements. He had been so busy the last month playing superhero, that he had neglected his writing. Staying in Metropolis for this long was not in his plans, but the city seemed to cry out for help.
confused Clark is Superman before being in Metropolis?
He is not writing for the Planet. He is free land?
If Lois is a reporter, she Superman is Clark? Then, Why they haven't see each other?

PART 2:
Quote
He had thought that after a year of playing superhero he would have learned how to harden himself against the sadness and the evil he had to deal with on a day to day basis.
confused Clark meet her 3 years ago.
Superman was created only one year ago.
Clark been in Metropolis one month.

Quote
Nervously he approached her door and raised his hand to knock. Just as he was about to strike the door with his fist, it swung open wide, and Lena came barreling out of the room. She was halfway to the elevator, when she stopped and turned toward Clark.He still had his hand in the air, poised to knock on the door. The sight of Lena had frozen him to the spot, and his brain had yet to engage to tell him what to do next. "Well, Kansas, are you going to stand there all day, or are you coming with me?"
She give the impression she was in a hurry.
Was someone in the room of she just want Clark out of the way?

confused When Lois meet Clark, was she investigating the inlegal arms dealing?

Quote
"Clark, don't. They're gone by now, and I... and I..." Finally she broke down and covered her face with her hands, her body shaking in the delayed reaction of her brush with death. Clark immediately went to her and enveloped her in his arms. He stroked her back and rocked her gently, trying to assure her that she was now safe.

After a few minutes, Clark whispered softly, "So, can you tell me now what happened?"

"Only if you can you tell me how you just saved me."
confused Someone try to kill her? They were waiting for her in the room?

Lets see Lois side.
By the way Clark talk, is like she was an insensible human being. A low life creature.

More soon, please.

MAF laugh


Maria D. Ferdez.
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another great post, taivas. very intriguing. it's sounding more and more like this is lois (though i'm not sure if she's undercover or really a buisinesswoman).

i'll agree that you've done an amazing job setting up the mood here, both in the dark present and the teasing, exciting, bittersweet past.

definitely interested to see what happened in paris, and very curious to see what happens next in the present.

looking forward to the next part. smile

Paul


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Taivas

WOW! A wonderful part! thumbsup
You did a superb job portraying Clark's emotions. He's so sad! whinging

You have me completely hooked and I can't wait to see where this is headed.

Tricia cool

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Yes, very good indeed. thumbsup thumbsup

But too short frown

5 pages shorter.

Post more as soon as possible!!!!!!!

Anna_B.


What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Thank you all for the comments, I wasn't sure if it was coming across well. I am busy working on the next part and hope to have it out soon.

I was amused to note that all of the comments came from people outside the U.S. (I wonder if that means anything? <g>)

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Tavias,
Here's a definite smile1


"Well, let's see, so far I've been given a glimpse of ritual crop worship, treated as your girlfriend, and I insulted your parents. No, I couldn't have planned this. Mmm, mmm." -- Lois to Clark, 'Green, Green Glow of Home'
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Taivas,
good segment
very intriguing story
you have me hooked
more soon please
merry


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