|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569 |
Ack!! I know I've read that one! I remember how it went. Clark had this spot on his glasses and he was terrified of taking them off to wipe the lens and couldn't get a private moment... and then that hilarious ending to it all. Now, if only I could remember the title... or the author... <sigh> Once again, FoLCs, this is the reason I don't generally participate in quizzes. Okay, fine. I resorted to googling the archive, if only to save what's left of my own sanity. This is Like Putting On a Pair Of Glasses by LC Rich. So... time for a new one, huh? Right. BRB. ... Browse, browse, browse... Hey! You know what? I just remembered one! It's an oldie but a goodie. Huh, and look here. It's even on the theme page. Forgot about that. Hmm, it's a little too easy by the quote, but a little too hard by the age. So, it balances out, right? Have fun.  "Oh no you don't, big boy. You have a deserter here, Lois."
Bully! Picking up a cat by his stomach. Not even a hello
scratch. Harumph!
"Thanks, Clark. Ever since he got out and met Mrs. Comarch's
yellow tabby, he's wanted nothing more than to see her again."
Hello! Put me down!
"Careful, Clark, he doesn't like being picked up by the belly,
he might... Clark, are you all right! Bad Elroy! Bad!"
Yeeouch! He's tougher than he looks! I almost lost a claw on
that one. Come to think of it, he smells different. What does
he smell of? Oh no! He smells like that big blue bird that
keeps landing in here. Why can't Mom have some nice *normal*
smelling friends? Paul
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Finally!! I know this one!!! A Cat's Life by...dang it...brb, hold my place! edit: Melissa Dore! Whoop! 80 freakin' clues and it takes me this long to get one. I could *kiss* you, Paul. And if I'm remembering wrong, and it isn't A Cat's Life by Melissa Dore, nobody tell me, ok? Because I have a favorite, favorite revelation I've been dying to use, and by golly, I'm going to. Back in a minute. Here we go: "Clark," called one of the women in the crowd,
"What we really want to know is whether Lois is as close to Superman
as gossip says."
Dr. Klein nodded his head and smiled. "The truth serum *is* working on
others in the crowd, Lois; she'd never have asked a question like that
under normal circumstances." He looked pleased, but for some reason
Mom didn't.
"Is Lois close to Superman?" repeated Daddy. I couldn't be sure, but I
thought Mom was holding her breath. "Yes." Mom let out her breath in
a sigh.
"We really should stop him before he says any more," said Dr. Klein,
beginning to look worried.
"No kidding," said Mom.
"Very close." Dad smiled happily while people in the crowd looked at
each other.
"You don't have to say any more, Clark," said Mom.
Dad was laughing now, like he had just thought of a good joke. "But
it's okay."
"No, Clark," said Mom.
"... it's okay that she's close to Superman ..."
"Clar-rk ..."
"... because, you see, I *am* Superman."
A ripple of laughter ran through the crowd. "Sure you are, Kent!" yelled
one man.
Ralph called out, "Is that what Lois tells you when you're--" and he said
something that I didn't understand *at all*, and when I asked Mom what
he meant, she didn't answer; she just looked at me.
David dropped his book and came over to the door, looking out with a
puzzled frown. "Why is Dad telling everyone?" he whispered.
Dr. Klein seemed pleased, but Weird Chemist was standing there with a
disappointed look on his face. "It's not working," he said. "It's
supposed to make people tell the *truth*."
I looked down at the audience again. "Clark, I'm glad you're Superman
to your wife, but could you just get on with your speech?" yelled
someone.
"But I *am* Superman," said Dad stubbornly. Everyone laughed, and he
frowned. "Look, I'll prove it." Stepping to one side of the lectern,
he loosened his tie, then grabbed his shirt in both hands and pulled.
There was a ripping sound and buttons flew everywhere. Someone screamed
and a lot of other people laughed.
"Nice, Kent, but where's Superman?" jeered Ralph.
Daddy looked down at his bare chest, then raised his head with a puzzled
look. "I'm not wearing the suit," he said. "Why not?" He looked up at
us. "Honey, do you know why I'm not wearing the suit?" CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 442
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 442 |
 One of the *best* comedy fics out there, period. 48 Hours Without a Superman, by Kathryn Ann Kent. Read her other stuff, too! Here's an oldie but goodie, like just about all of this author's fics: "Some sort of accident sent your Superman into my future, and sent me backward into his past."
Lois shrugged, "I think I understand, Superman, but aren't you still him...the one from the past?"
Clark sighed, "I guess, in a way, but I need to get back to the time I belong in. I've lived this part of my life already, Lois."
"I can understand that, Superman, but even if you have to relive the past, what difference could--"
"I'm married in the future, Lois. I want to get back to my wife."
Lois could not have looked more stunned even if the sky had suddenly begun to rain goldfish, "I see...that would make a big difference."
Clark sighed and touched her cheek, "I'm married to you, Lois."
This was clearly a bit more than Lois could completely take in. She began to cry and buried her face in his chest. Clark held her and began to stroke her hair, "I know this is pretty overwhelming, and I'm sorry to tell you everything so bluntly, but I want to get home."
Lois sniffed and pulled away. She ran her fingers beneath her eyes attempting not to smear her make-up. Her hands trembled. "If for some reason you can't get back home, Superman, I want you to know I love you, and I guess I always have. We can still...be married." She looked up at him, "I know it won't be exactly the same as before--"
Clark lowered his head. "The hardest part of this is something I still haven't told you, Lois, and though it didn't happen this way in the past, I'm afraid I'm forced by circumstances to do it this way." He rose from the sofa, shrugged and in a moment had transformed into Clark Kent.
Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 346
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 346 |
Hey, I got one! This is Zoomway's Counter Clark-Wise . And now I've read it again <g>. And here's mine, from a story I've always loved... "You know what else?" Clark continued as he stood and walked to place his dishes in the sink. "That latex I found down by the docks last week? It was a piece of Finn's "Johnny" disguise which was designed to throw everybody off." He looked at her, expecting a nod of agreement. Instead, though, her brow was wrinkled, and she looked confused.
"But Dr. Klein told me that Superman had found that latex," she said.
Clark stopped. Wasn't that what he had said? He thought back. Oh no! In his excitement about piecing together the case, he'd slipped and admitted that he had been the one to find the latex. "Uh... I mean, I was with him... err, he gave... told me..." he stammered. What was he going to do? She'd caught his mistake right away. "Um..." And now he couldn't think of a way out of this one!
Lois jumped on his hesitation, running down a laundry list of the incriminating evidence he'd just given her. "He couldn't have given it to you, and you couldn't have been with him. Dr. Klein said that Superman had found it last week. You weren't even in the country last week!" The story forgotten, Lois stood up and walked over to him. She was now looking at him strangely, almost as if she was seeing him for the first time. Slowly, she reached a hand up to his head, running her palm along his forehead and straight back, effectively flattening his hair along the way. Then with the other hand, she reached up and took his glasses from his face.
Clark stood there helplessly, unable to move. He felt as if the entire experience was beyond his control, and all he could do was wait for her reaction. He could feel the hand on his head trembling as understanding dawned in her eyes. That look only lasted a moment, though, before it was replaced with cold hostility.
One word was all she said, but one word was all she needed. "Superman." Her tone was low and accusatory. Have fun! Kaylle
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
I've always loved this story, too, Kaylle! It's thw wonderful "A Love Well Worth The Wait" by Tracey!  Now...as we know, Clark's disguise is very good and has fooled everyone... even Clark himself! "Cut the touchy-feely stuff, Clark. What I'm trying to say
is that you don't know who gave birth to you. I mean, it
could've been anyone. Maybe they're not even from this
country. Maybe not even from this *planet,*" she said
carefully.
"Lois! What *are* you talking about?"
Okay, Lane, enough with the indirect approach. You're tied
together in a room somewhere (probably) in Hobbs Bay; you
don't have time to break the news slow and spare Clark's
feelings.
"Clark, you're Superman."
The room was suddenly quiet. Lois could hear her own
breath, the shallow in-out allowed by the constricting
ropes. But she heard nothing from behind her. Clark was
silent.
"Clark, did you hear me? I said you're Superman."
Clark's response was slow in coming, and his tone dripped
with exaggerated patience once he did begin to speak.
"Lois, now I know we've been abducted and tied up, and I
know you're possibly the biggest Superman fan in
Metropolis, and I know we both wish Superman would come by
and rescue us, but-"
"Clark, don't patronize me! I know what I'm talking about.
We don't need to wait for Superman to swoop by and save us;
*you're* Superman!" It's up to you! Simona
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
Need help? It's a kerth nominee!  Simona
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 442
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 442 |
No help needed, Simona! Christy's powerful Hysteron Proteron. The Langs... >shudder< Here's another good oldie: Ever since the Internet Superman groups had began, the idea of a secret identity for the hero had been a recurring one; very popular with the newbies especially. They were all dissuaded from the notion by Keith and a few other 'old-timers' on the newsgroup. It seemed patently absurd that anyone so powerful as Superman would want to live as a normal person. He wasn't human; he couldn't want the same things as everyone else. The idea of a lofty, lonely demi-god held powerful appeal. For the small-minded, it helped to even the score; for romantics, it made him irresistible - perfect and unattainable. "...there are things I'll never have," he'd admitted once, in court, while looking longingly at Lois Lane, which seemed to settle the debate before it had gotten properly started.
Now, however, the certainty was melting away as all the evidence pointed to a new conclusion. A conclusion that fit all the facts, and explained much. Keith knew that when a hypothesis didn't fit the evidence, you discarded the hypothesis, not the facts. Still, he found himself resisting the new hypothesis. He was used to a certain image of his hero - of the self-sacrificing icon who continually gave, and never seemed to take. It was hard to reconcile that to the unassuming family man that Keith had only just begun to know.
But... no wonder Superman had known his name, no wonder the Kents looked at him with such love in their eyes. Superman must be... Clark Kent.
Keith shook his head in wonder. All these years, that's where he'd been hiding... Keith was abruptly stunned by how close he'd been to his hero without realizing it. "Wow. I was talking to him." A thought struck him, and he grinned, somewhat wildly. "No wonder they didn't want Secret Service protection..."
This would take some time to adjust to.
Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,084 Likes: 39
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,084 Likes: 39 |
Oooh!!! I know this one!! It's Presidential Party by Pam Jernigan... part of her great President Kent series! And since I've already got Pam's author page up for the link... the series starts with President Kent then All the President\'s Men and the third story is the one above. And now for your new cluechie... Logic finished the puzzle, saw the full picture, and
promptly passed out. "Oh my g -- You're him. And you -- And
I -- And that time -- That was you." Memories flashed
through her head, faster than she could keep up. Things
she'd said, things she'd done, things he'd done, in both
his guises. Logic woke up and dizzily got to work. Nothing
was what it had seemed. Clark had saved her life more times
than she cared to count. Superman had stayed in Metropolis
because of her. Have at it! Sara 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 244
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 244 |
Oh, I know that one - it's Paul's Persephone's Return (is it eligible for the Best Supporting Cast category? ) How about this... "Clark, there's a cliff up ahead..." she exclaimed suddenly, alarm in her voice.
She was right; he'd brought her some way to the side of the road, and just up ahead, the mountain-side sheered off completely. There were signs that he could see of erosion, where the cliff-edge had given way on previous occasions. For all Lois knew, they were doomed; there was no way ahead, and behind them, gaining on them every second, was the gunman.
Clark didn't even stop to consider his options; there was no other option. He glanced quickly behind and then ahead, then hurriedly said, "Trust me, Lois."
"Huh?"
As one more shot zinged its way past them, missing him by inches, he grabbed Lois around the waist and ran forward... straight off the edge of the cliff.
********
Lois screamed.
They were falling... tumbling through the black night down towards the rocks which she *knew* were at the bottom of this stretch of cliff. They were going to *die*!
What did Clark think he was doing, running over the edge like that? Who did he think he was? Superman?
His free arm came around her, pulling her against him and tucking her head into the hollow of his shoulder as they fell.
And then she realised that, contrary to what she'd thought, they weren't in free-fall. Their descent had slowed, and now they were gliding slowly along the edge of the cliff, beneath an overhang. And they were moving sideways, too... and then they were coming to rest on a ledge.
Safe. Unhurt. And definitely alive.
She stared at Clark in complete disbelief. Mere
A diabolically, fiendishly clever mind. Possibly someone evil enough to take over the world. CC Aiken, Can You Guess the Writer? challenge
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
I do know this story, but I cannot remember title or author! bad, bad memory, Simona!  Someone put me out of my misery, please! Simona
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,380 Likes: 1 |
Can I horn in? That's Carbon Copy by Wendy Richards.
Nan
PS: I'll be back later with a quote.
Okay, it's Later. Here goes:
"Lois, let me get this straight, you're suggesting I should give up being Superman?"
Not trusting herself to speak, Lois nodded -- her face white.
"Lois, I'm not sure if I can do that... or even if I have the right to do that!"
She stared in vexation round the room once more before returning her accusing gaze to her husband. "So you're not prepared to give up your alter-ego, but you are prepared to abandon your home! Superman can't be sacrificed but your wife and children can!"
Clark felt pole-axed. "You don't pull your punches, Lois!"
"I never developed the habit," she threw at him.
"Especially when I'm fighting for the most important thing in my life -- my family! The trouble is, I was sure you felt the same way."
"I do, Lois! But you were the one who implied that
associating with me was putting the children at risk," he reminded with a touch of desperation.
"Superman! Not Clark Kent!" That was almost shouted, and Lois took a few seconds to calm herself. "And how do you explain this, Clark?" She waved her hand at the assembled pile of luggage. "What reason are you going to give for
your leaving? You can't tell the truth because that would mean giving away your precious secret. Oh, I know! You're going to suggest that we're incompatible.... How do they put it? The couple had irrevocable differences? Well, newsflash, Clark -- no one is going to believe that." Lois
watched Clark squirm uncomfortably and a sneaking suspicion overtook her. "Or are you going to suggest that I found someone else...?"
Clark shrugged noncommittally. "Maybe...."
"A certain Doctor Campbell, perhaps? You were right about him, by the way, but be serious here, Clark. Everyone knows we're perfect for each other, and I'm not about to help you carry out your misguided plan by playing the part of the adulterous wife."
"Glad to know I got something right!" Clark muttered. "But you're perfectly aware, Lois, that I would never suggest you did anything like that."
"I guess not," Lois conceded grudgingly. "Oh, but there's another scenario I haven't mentioned yet -- Clark Kent meets with a tragic accident where, unfortunately, his body is never recovered." Lois had only been tossing ideas around, hoping to prove to Clark just how idiotic his thinking was, yet, at the painful start from the figure on the bed, she realised she'd hit on the truth. "That's it, isn't it?! Clark, how could you? That is so final --
there's no way back from there. The kids and I would never see you again."
"Superman could drop by every now and then to check on how you were doing." Clark sounded so forlorn and Lois' heart went out to him but she wasn't about to give up the attack.
"But doesn't that defeat the object of the whole proposal? Wasn't the idea to distance the Man of Steel from the Kent family so that villains would stop attacking them?"
Another huge sigh broke from Clark. "I suppose," he said wretchedly. "I just hoped that I could visit in secret a few times...."
"I don't see why Superman should be granted privileges which would be denied to Clark."
A stare of total perplexity was turned on Lois. "But, Lois, I am Clark!"
"No! Clark Kent will be dead; lost at sea, perhaps, or, I know, eaten by a bear on some mountain track," Lois babbled distraughtly, "Though why you would be on a mountain track at this moment beats me! Of course, you might have another death scene in mind...."
"I hadn't quite thought that out yet," he mumbled
miserably.
"What does it matter, you'll be gone -- killed off by Superman, and I'm sorry but I don't believe I'd like to associate with someone who murdered my husband."
Okay, there it is. Have fun.
Nan
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
That's right, "Carbon Copy" by Wendy! I had not recognized a favourite of mine!  And now, another wonderful fic, "Poisoned legacy" by Jenni Debbage (I have just re-read few days ago!) only few moments... I have it! Onother all around favourite of mine: The iridescent green glow of the rock in her hand was something she
knew she'd never forget. She'd only seen it once before, when
Arianna Carlin had molded a bullet out of it and shot it into
Superman's body. When she'd awoken from her drugged sleep, she'd
found Superman crumpled on the floor of Lex's penthouse, grabbing at
his shoulder and grimacing in pain. She'd never forget how she'd had
to fish that Kryptonite bullet out of his shoulder, with Superman
grabbing onto her hand for all he was worth as she worked it free
from his skin and pulled the glowing bullet from his body. Moments
after she'd removed it, he'd been able to scramble to his feet in his
weakened condition and hurry after Lex's evil ex-wife.
And even though it had been almost a year, she'd never forgotten the
shock of seeing Superman writhing on the floor, grimacing in
pain...much like Clark was now.
Something clicked in Lois' head, and her mouth opened in shocked
silence. It couldn't be! Kryptonite was supposed to be harmless to
humans. If this was the reason Clark was suddenly so sick, that
could only mean....
Her face went white. Turning to look once again at Clark's grimacing
form, it was like watching the events in Lex Luthor's penthouse all
over again. Except this time it was Clark writhing on the ground.
Her mind started to whirl frantically, searching for a solution to
the questions suddenly forming in her mind. Could it be? Clark?
And Superman? Were they...could they be...?
As her foggy, panicked mind struggled to reason, Clark lifted his
head off the floor just enough to see what she was doing. The
instant he saw the glowing, green rock in her hand, it all made
sense. No wonder he hadn't been getting any better! It had been in
his pocket the whole time, continuing to work its deadly powers. The
man they'd run into must've planted it on him during the confusion!
Not stopping to worry about the fact that some yet unknown enemy
must've made the connection that he was Superman, he clenched his
teeth as another searing pain tore through him. "Lois, you've got to
get that out of here!" he told her desperately, fearing that he
didn't have much time to act before it would be too late. "Take it
outside, get rid of it!"
Jumping to her feet, Lois clenched the rock in her hand, ran to the
door, yanked it open, then hurtled the Kryptonite chunk as far as she
could into the inky blackness of the woods. Then she turned back to
Clark, already noticing a change in his appearance. He was still
deathly pale and his face was dotted with perspiration, but he no
longer appeared to be in agonizing pain.
Hurrying over to him, Lois knelt down shakily next to him and
cautiously touched his shoulder. "Clark, are you okay?"
He swallowed noisily and shut his eyes for a long moment, trying to
stem the diminishing ache still numbing his body. "I...I don't
know," Clark answered weakly, lifting his hand with great effort to
press it over hers. "I think I will be. I just need some time...."
It was quiet for what seemed like an eternity as Lois sat motionless
at Clark's side, her mind still churning and searching for answers.
There was no denying what she'd just witnessed. Clark's agonizing
pain...the glowing rock she'd found in his pocket...his strangled
voice telling her to get rid of it...and when she had, his pain
slowly diminishing. All the signs were there. It didn't take a
genius to piece together the facts. Being a part of what had just
happened, Lois knew she couldn't reason this all away. The events
spoke for themselves.
Clark was Superman. Simona
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,356 |
Come on, folcs! A Kerth winner!
|
|
|
|
