Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related FFQ: dorms and other

Yes, I'm back again with my questions about college, etc.

My questions this time, are these:

1. In individual dorm rooms, how big are the beds, usually? I mean, could you request a double bed?

2. What is the policy, usually, about males present in female dorms and the other way around? I remember once watching a French series that took place in a university where the guys has to climb through the window to visit the girls, and vice-versa.

3. How much does it even cost? An individual dorm room, I mean.

4. Okay, this is not about dorms, but I know quite a few of you are mothers and may be able to help me with this, too. When the baby first kicks:

a. Does he kick several times and then stops until the next time? Or does he kick once in a while? I realize there is no rule and it varies, but usually?

b. What month does he usually do that in?

Thanks!

Julie

well, a lot of that will vary. different schools, even different dorms within the same school, may do things diferently. still, some things are more common than others.

1. most dorm beds are extra long twins. that's not always true, but i think it holds up in general. the idea is to keep everyone reasonably comfortable at minimum cost. so, everyone gets the same size bed. you shouldn't need more than twin width to be comfortable, but taller people need longer beds. so, everyone gets a long twin.

2. it varies. many dorms these days are coed, but some are single sex. different schools have different policies. the school i went to had mostly coed dorms with one all-girls dorm. the policy for the all female dorm was that men weren't supposed to be allowed past the lobby except under specific circumstances or during certain hours. the only men's restroom in the entire building was, of course, on the first floor. i'm told, however, that the policy is not enforced particularly strongly. that would, of course, change from place to place.

3. dorm rooms vary in cost from school to school, from dorm to dorm, and even from room to room. generally, the bigger the room, the more it costs. of course, the more roomates you have, the smaller your share. i don't remember how much my rooms cost because they were just tacked on to the tuition bill. it's also been a while. i think most rooms were about $1000 per term (give or take), but don't hold me to that.

4a. well, since i've never been pregnant, i think i'll leave this one to those more experienced.

4b. april

(sorry, couldn't resist)

hope this helps.

Paul

Paul's had more recent college experience than me, so go with what he said -- I will add that when I lived in a dorm it was a co-ed dorm, and for at least one year there were guys in the rooms on both sides of me. We had an RA (resident assistant?) on each floor, as a quasi-authority figure, but there weren't any rules that I remember about having visitors of any gender. Oh, and the first year I was there, the residents voted to make the bathrooms on our floor uni-sex (this was the unofficial gay & lesbian floor, I discovered ). It seemed to work pretty well, but the university stopped it when they found out, as it violated local laws. But that's not important right now...

Um, anyway... pregnancy questions...

When the baby first kicks it's a very slight movement and you have to pay close attention to realize you can feel anything. It helps if you're lying down, or sitting quietly, so you're not distracted. Oh, and if you eat sugar it can give the baby a sugar rush so he gets more antsy <g> So eat lots of candy, then try to go to sleep. And at first, it's infrequent, and pretty gentle, like a flutter, so it's like "hey, what was-- was that--?" and you lie there in breathless anticipation for a few minutes, but nothing happens, so you're disappointed and you think maybe it was just gas, and your mind starts wandering -- then it flutters again.

For me, I think, it happened in the fourth month.

Your mileage may vary, individual results differ, etc, etc, etc.

PJ

I am forgetting to mention an important detail. I need the dorm rules to apply to 1986.

And is it plausible if someone pays for a bigger bed?

That was meant mostly for the female FoLCs...


Julie

Went to college and stayed in a dorm from 1986 to 1988 - I'll try to dig through the cobwebs to let you know. Answers apply to Kansas State University.

1. Long twin was the only choice.

2. I lived in an all male dorm. The rule was females could visit at any time - they just couldn't spend the night. Definition of spending the night? She had a tooth brush. Only one womens bathroom in the dorm was on the first floor.

My girlfriend (future wife) lived in an all female dorm. Men were allowed in the dorm until 10:00 on "school nights" (Sun - Thur) and till 12:00 otherwise (Fri - Sat). Men could go to any room - with an escort. Before you could enter the hallway, your escort had to yell "Man on floor" so the other women would know there was a guy around. She also had to yell that when you came out of the room. Guess it was to keep women who were going from their rooms to the bathroom in only a towel from getting surprised. There was only one bathroom for the men, on the first floor.

There where coed dorms, but generally, it was still segregated by either floor, or wing. No cohabitation.

3. Cost? Oh - boy. Stretching the memory cells now. Like Paul, it was tacked into the overall bill. $200/month? Maybe? 50% guess on that.

Hi Julie,
I'll just add to the dorm discussion by saying that I'm giving you is from Queen's University here in Ontario.

In the dorms, there is one all male dorm, one all female dorm (for those who choose do be segregated). The rest are co-ed. There are only twin beds, mainly because there isn't very much room for more. You get a bed, a desk, a dresser and a book shelf along with a closet. There is very little floor space. Most dorms are built for two people.

Cost with food plan is about $5000 Canadian for the year.

As far as babies kicking, Pam has it right. Early on (I think it was the 5th month for me) there is a flutter. Perfect word because it felt like there was a butterfly in my tummy. Then nothing for a few days and then another flutter and another. It takes a while for first time pregnant women to recognize the feeling--especially since gas is a common problem.

Hope that helps,

gerry

I was in college from 1998-2002, so it is a little late from what you wanted, but I had to laugh about the double bed thing. I don't think so, yeah right, and hahahahahahahahahah were my only reactions. I lived in a single room all 4 years 3 in dorms and 1 in my sorority house, and my bed was, of course, a twin extra long. If I would have asked for a double, I know they would have laughed at me. All of our dorms were coed (except for 1 on north side which was all girls used almost exclusively by muslim students and students who got unfortunately stuck there and hated it (now even that is gone). We even had co-ed suites. Boys were allowed in and out of our rooms at any time. The roommates just had to agree. My sorority was the only sorority who allowed boys to stay the night -- there were no men's bathrooms, but they just used the one on the floor with the girlfriend escort.

Here is a site about Case Western Reserve's dorms http://housing.case.edu/housing/tour/buildings/srv/default.tour.aspx. The singles I lived in are all on the south campus. All the buildings were built around 1968, so they would have been the same in the '80s. I lived in "staley" and "tippit" on the Murray Hill quad, and "Glaser" and "the sigma psi house" on the Carlton Rd. quad. and each one has a few pictures of the dorm rooms/suites/exterior and I am sure some of the furniture comes from the '80's .

So you don't have to go searching, here is a picture of one of the rooms in Staley (not my room, it comes from the web site). Look at how small the room is. Yes, the bed is on top of the dresser. A double bed would have never fit in the room, much less on top of the dresser!


The only way someone could get a double was if they lived in a double room, and for some reason, their roommate moved out and they didn't get a new one. Of course it was just two twin beds pushed together, but I guess you could call it a double bed. If what you want is for 2 poeple to be able to sleep together, it is possible in the twin extra long. I never did it personally, but I had sorority sisters and roommates who did it every night. I even had a roommate who did it when she was 9 months pregnant!

Oh if you need any information about pregnancy in college, I had a roommate who was pregnant, so I might be able to answer some of your questions . . . although I can't answer anything pregnancy specific like when you first feel the baby, etc.

- Laura

The only time I lived in a dorm room was in 97-98. However, my experience was pretty much the same. We were allowed to have overnight visitors on the weekend (that means guys). On weeknights, the guys were supposed to be out of rooms by 10pm. Didn't always happen, but what they didn't know didn't hurt us. Though I think we had to hide my roommate's boyfriend in the closet once or twice. My dorm building had two towers: one tower was for the girls, and the other was for the boys. In the boys tower, on the 6th floor I think, they were expiramenting with a co-ed floor. The rooms were alternating boys-girl-boy-girl all around the floor. I think they had partitioned the big bathroom/showers so it wasn't one big bay, but two smaller bays for each gender.

My dorm room just had the two beds. A few people were lucky and got the room to themselves, so they could push the beds together to have a double bed. My husband, however, went to a school that had suites. The floors were one-gender floors, I think. There were anywhere between 2-3 beds in each room. I guess if you lucked out and had 3 beds and 2 people, you could push two of the beds/bunkbeds together for a double, and someone would just get the single top bunk.

I couldn't answer any questions about pregnancies, sorry.

Like Pam, it was after about four months one can actually start to feel something moving inside. At first, it was hard to tell, like little butterflies moving around, which can be a sign of ten other things as well. Then it developed to a few times a day, sometimes very often, and there were times (especially after eating sugar), someone was trying to play football in there. So I guess they react to someone touching the stomach as well.

Pelican

I lived in a military co-ed dorm, so no help for you there.

But babies Kicking, oooo it was like fish moving in your gut right about the end of the 4th month.
A lot of fish. Then there comes the rolling and traveling from one side to the other.

God Forbid you lay on your side from 6-8 months because she'll push you on that side til you get up. They like to use your bladder for a trampoline too cause I'd get a couple of hops right at the bottom of my belly and then have to go.

It's funny when you can actually see it, you pull your shirt up and watch this little buldge on your tummy that you know is a heel or behind as she slides from one side to the other and then you get that swishing feeling when the amniotic fluid settles to the other side

Hope these descriptions help.

TEEEJ

In reading my neuroscience in preparation for my class today, I think I can explain physiologically why babies move around 4-5 month. We are studying neurogenesis (development of the nervous system), and there are several major events that happen. At 22-24 days gestation, the beginnings of the nervous system (the neural tube) forms, so even before many people know they are pregnant, their baby has the beginnings of a brain/spinal cord! Then at 5 weeks gestation the 5 cerebral cesicles of the brain are formed. At 3-4 months gestation, your baby has just about all of the neurons it will every have in its life, and between 3-6 months, the neurons migrate to their final targets, and in that time, the baby has a functional nervous system! That is why it can respond to extrenal stimulus -- it has sensory neurons -- and why it can move -- it has motor neurons.

Although the final myelination doesn't occur until the baby is 6 months old - 3 years old and the baby doesn't have fine motor control, or fast sensory propogation, or even coordination, it has a completely functional nervous system.

Just thought I'd share. Okay, it is procrastination. This stuff is really boring!

- Laura

For the record, the dorm experience I described was from the '86-87 school year That was at American University, in Washington, DC. As Jeff can tell you, there was a wide variation in dorm policies from school to school. A dorm in Metropolis would probably be a lot more casual about these things than Smallville U., for instance.

PJ

about the bathrooms... the ones where i lived were all co-ed. there was a vote every year on every floor to "sex" the bathrooms, but every year it was overwhelmingly decided to leave them co-ed. there was, however, a one-person bathroom on each floor for those who were uncomfortable with the idea (it was originally designed as a handicapped bathroom. the dorm itself was an all-male dorm when it was first built).

the idea seems really weird at first, but basically you come to realize that stalls (toilet or shower) are private. it doesn't matter if the person in the next one is male or female. you both just want your privacy. so, it works out.

of course, i have heard of a couple of cases where there was more than one person using the same shower stall at the same time, but i don't know if those are just rumors. i try not to think about it.

the situation is not unique to that dorm or even to that school. my oldest sister went to a different school around 1990. she had the same situation (coed dorm, coed bathrooms).

as for the beds, there is a way to do it if you have a large enough room and are willing to make a few sacrifices. the room is yours. as long as you leave it in the same condition you found it (or get approval for whatever changes you make), you can do what you want with the furniture.

when my sister went to a different dorm at the same school, she ended up with a room that was about the size of a small walk-in closet. she literally couldn't keep all the funiture in the room and still have enough space to close the door. so, she put the dresser out into the hall (that dorm had a suite arrangement, i think, so there wasn't too much of a security problem with that) and replaced it with a smaller one we bought at ikea.

at my own school, i had a couple of friends down the hall who were very close. i met them when i was a freshman and they were juniors. at the time, they were acting like any old married couple. that sort of old comfortable relationship where the basics are secured and you've long moved on from the tentative stages of dating and learning boundaries and moving boundaries... although i later found out they'd only met during their own freshman year, i could have sworn they'd been married for years. they even had some of the typical old married couple arguments.

so, they each had a single room, but one of those rooms was pretty much just used for storage. that arrangement was formalized the next year, and later that year, they got engaged. this surprised no one (actually, his comment when he told me was something like, "with graduation coming up, we thought we might as well make it official"). what did surprise some people, however, was that his mother, as an engagement gift, bought them a queen size bed.

they moved the old bed out of the room, rearranged the furniture to allow the space (in a smaller room, you'd probably have to get rid of some furniture... a dresser or a desk or something), and had a queen size bed in a college dorm room.

so, yes. it can be done if you're willing to pay for it. just not through official channels.

Paul

I guess, too, it depends on your bathroom. The bathrooms in the dorm I lived in were most definately male only bathrooms. Think large, tiled room with multiple shower heads and no closable doors. You had roughly four feet of "personal" space between shower heads and nothing else.

There were doors on the stalls that contained the toilets, but the row of urinals where open. Just one lined up next to the other.

You couldn't be very modest or shy in that dorm.

Always irked me a bit because my wife's dorm (the all female one) did have seperate shower stalls with closable doors, etc...

Wow, this whole conversation is really amusing to me, because my dorm has no restrictions at all <g>. We can have any guests we want, any time, we have coed suites, we have coed bathrooms... My dorm is very relaxed; there are very few rules (which is good, because a lot of people wouldn't obey them anyway...<g>). Smoking is also permitted in private rooms, if roommates don't mind.

If anyone's curious, I happened to find this on the housing website. Senior House. It's taken from right in front of my door, actually, although I don't know how old it is. We don't have a couch there anymore But this is more or less where I live <g>. (If anyone's really curious, you can check out the video that's sent to incoming freshmen to help them pick a dorm. It's pretty weird and/or frightening-- don't judge me by my surroundings! -- but it makes me laugh anyway I live on the contact juggling/fire tricks floor <g>)

Jeff, I'd have died! I'm spoiled here. I did live at Paul's dorm for a few months over a summer, and I must admit I was a little less comfortable with the coed bathrooms there. The stalls there are just like stalls in any public restroom anywhere, so someone could theoretically peep at you over the door or wall. The showers and toilets in my building have solid wooden doors that lock.

As for double beds... I could *never* put a double bed in here. That's the one downside of this dorm; we have carpet and air conditioning, but the rooms are pretty small. So my bed is lofted and I have a cabinet and a refrigerator under it <g>. No way I could put even a twin on the floor, let alone a double!

Kaylle

Thanks everyone!

That helps a lot... really.

Julie

I lived in an all-female dorm my first year in college. I was in Germany as an exchange student when they sent the letter about choosing dorms, and my dad picked the all girl's dorm.

We could have guys over to visit, but not after certain hours, like 10:00 IIRC. However, I went to a public college (Moorhead State University in MN). At certain private institutions, esepcially Christian colleges, the rules are probably stricter.

Also we only had twin beds, but you could get a loft or a bunk bed if you chose to.

As for cost, I don't remember exactly, but I think it was around $200-$300. It's probably gone up. I was in college in the late 90's.

Never mind, I see it is year specific.

A ha, that's my area. I go to a Jesuit institution. I would bet as most Christian schools go, we're pretty relaxed. The only real rule we follow is no-smoking-indoors. We're a wet campus, and the under-age people drink anyway and store alcohol. It's basically a don't ask, don't tell. Just don't get caught. But we're such a small school that everybody knows everyone else, and the RAs don't write anyone up, usually.. We have 10am-12am and 10am-2am curfews for the opposite sex depending on if it's a school night, but if you know your RA well, you can get away with breaking that as long as you don't turn the dorm rooms into brothels. As for myself, I'm the director of housing for my women's fraternity, and we require that our housing be completely dry. And it is. Since I can't (and won't) drink there, they can't either. Technically speaking, I'm supposed to enforce the school's curfew rules, too, but I really don't care as long as people aren't running a muck and coming and going at all hours. My residents are pretty good about that.

Jen

Babies move plenty before the fourth month. In fact, moms who have been pregnant before can often feel the movements as early as 10-12 weeks. First-time moms are unlikely to detect these veeery faint movements as distinct from gas or other non-baby internal sensations until they get stronger -- about 18-20 weeks or so.

I'm pretty sure the difference has more to do with muscle development and increasing limb size than nerve development.