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Hazel Offline OP
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I figured most of you would at least click on such a topic name to find out what I'm talking about. goofy

I find myself needing a list of different ways in which Lex has been killed off in fics. The more grandiose or ignominious the better, although I'll take whatever I can get. laugh

Although it's obvious, I might as well caution that this folder will likely contain lots and lots of spoilers; so if you're behind in your fic reading and don't want to know how Lex gets killed in a specific story, don't read this too closely! smile

Off the top of my head, I can think of the following:

  • Under the wheels of a bus (Pam's Being Lois Lane)
  • Eaten alive by sharks (Wendy's When Lightning Strikes Twice)
  • Dangling popsicle (Labrat's Masques)
  • Grenade stuffed down his trousers (Phil's Stronger Than Me Alone)

I am appealing to all the Lex-haters out there to help me with one. Even if it's as prosaic as being thrown out a window (Chris Carr's EM II), let me know about the many ways we FoLCs have done LnC the biggest favor of their lives by getting rid of Lex! clap

Hazel, who promises an explanation no later than the end of March wink


Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.

-- Action Comics 827
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Shamefully, I can only think of my own murderous effort, wherein Luthor was shot in his jail cell by Mindy Church wiedling a quantum disruptor.

Hmmm...sounds like an entry for Cluedo. wink

Yvonne

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Ah, it's so nice to be remembered... wink Technically, the bus thing was at the end of "Just Like That" but why quibble? laugh Those two were originally written as one story, anyway.

Other than that, I don't seem to kill Lex -- probably because I rarely write about him at all <g> Well, there was the Lexmark that shorted itself out in Battle of the Network Printers... but I don't know if that counts goofy

PJ


"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."

--Stardust, Caroline K
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Hmm...well, I think I had his DNA degenerate once. He tried to make himself more super than Superman, and his body couldn't withstand the effects. Not a very fun way to go.


I believe there's a hero in all of us that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams. -- Aunt May, Spider-Man 2
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didn't think i had anything, but i just remembered " there\'s more than one way... "

he's not dead (though not for lack of trying), but he does end up stuck in the body of a stray cat who, at the end of the story, has good news and bad news: he'll be adopted, but, as part of the process, he'll be "fixed." ignominious enough for you? laugh

oh, and in my " smart kids " untwist (which i just noticed while browsing the archive), he died alone, presumably of old age, in complete obscurity.

not really all that violent, but it's not usually my style.

can't think of anything else offhand.

fun topic, tho. smile

Paul, who thinks he knows what hazel's up to, and is hoping he's right. smile


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I had a TE once that crashed his plane into a mountain. Otherwise... well, I don't work with Lex much, since he's already dead by fourth season and beyond.

Laura


“Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.”
--Thomas Moore

"Keep an open mind, I always say. Drives sensible people mad, I know, but what did we ever get from sensible people? Not poetry or art or music, that's for sure."
--Charles de Lint, Someplace to Be Flying
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Sadly, in the TE I wrote, Lex was the one villain who didn't die!


Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.

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I've had Lex shot by cops while attempting to murder Clark.

Irene


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I have trouble thinking up plots for Lex, so it'll probably take me a while before I do something really horrible to him (though I bet when I do it'll feel great!).

I remember, though, a few bad endings for Lex which I've read. Let's see if that inspires me.

Julie


Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?

(The X-Files)
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Quote
Grenade stuffed down his trousers (Phil's Stronger Than Me Alone)
No, no, no... the grenade was just to dispose of the evidence (and his DNA)! evil What killed him was the gun stuck in his mouth at the same time.

Other methods of offing Lexy-boy are available on request. Merely state the name of Humanity's benefactor-- um, the killer; the location; and how much collateral damage is acceptable. laugh

Phil, Official FoLC Luthor Loather and Barbeque Chef


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Grenade stuffed down his trousers (Phil's Stronger Than Me Alone)
This also reminds me a lot of a certain scene in the movie Tango and Cash (featuring Teri Hatcher- laugh ) where Tango (Sylvester Stallone) stuffed a grenade down a guy's pants, and called it "his contribution to birth control." LOL. Though it only exploded the second time he did it, but it was still hilarious.

Julie


Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?

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In my plot untwist, "Pronounce Away!", I had Lex step off he curb, only to be run down by a getaway car being driven by his child-like clones of the President and the head of the Secret Service. They were, of course, munching frogs as they ran from the police. goofy

Kathy (grinning like crazy at this thread, which is saying something, feeling as sick as I am. <g>)

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Let's see...

In SP2, Lex was stabbed, shot and poisoned all at the same time to confuse Lt. Henderson who was trying to solve the case. But he figured it out as did several of the readers who posted guesses while SP2 was being posted to the MB.

Barb.

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i just remembered. in my wedding ARGH untwist, lex was shot in the alley behind the ace 'o clubs by lois's clone, who went off to become a nightclub singer.

(sorry, checked a few other stories -- not all of them mine -- but he was only arrested in those, after all.)

Paul


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Well, if we're including Plot Untwists, I had Vatman flash-fry him with heat vision... laugh

And then there was the Imbalance Spiral Ending in which he died, along with the Churches and assorted goons, in a gas explosion ignited by his cigar. The mechanics of the explosion itself are slightly complicated, so I suggest you go and read the SE if you want the details (check the ToC for its location).

Hmm... I'm starting to see a trend here. thumbsup

Phil, musing on other ways to cook a Lex (Microwaves? Lasers? Afterburners? All 3 at once?)


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I've been reminded of my Tank Ending to Faux Pas, in which the following happened to Lex:

Quote
Lex Luthor, who had been inspecting his underground hideaway at the time, was spared the sudden and painless death those who were in the immediate target range suffered. However, his curiosity piqued by the noise and shaking, he ventured above ground once things had quietened, and he was quickly burned to a crisp by radioactive flames. His last words are believed to have been, “I knew I should have funded that madman Klein’s research into the cause of Superman’s invulnerability!”
Wendy wink


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I just had a sudden thought, and checked my TE for All Stirred Up. Sure enough:
Quote
Lex himself happened to be hunting in the Everglades when the asteroid hit Metropolis. His reprieve was short-lived, however: he was bitten by an alligator the next day, and both parties died an agonising death from the bite. But Nigel had invited Jimmy along for the trip, and the two of them lived happily ever after.
evil Mere


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Phil, musing on other ways to cook a Lex (Microwaves? Lasers? Afterburners? All 3 at once?)
I'm for at least one of the three...did anyone else watch last week's Angel? Apparently, Wolfram & Hart has the ability to zap anyone from a satellite laser beam with neither a trace of the body, nor incriminating evidence. Can you say ouch? I certainly wouldn't mind if something like that happened to Lex.


I believe there's a hero in all of us that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams. -- Aunt May, Spider-Man 2
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In Nothing but a Luthor on the Way, I had Nigel shooting Luthor, on the rooftop of the building were his wedding to Lois was taking place and as Luthor killed the older man as well.

Cris


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I think there must be some sort of mind control thingy in space somewhere. I almost never have time to come to this board, but today, I followed a link from the lncfanfic mail list. I am currently writing a Lex fic and am trying to figure out just what to do with the dude. Y'all are giving me all sorts of idears. <eg>


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