Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Challenge For the Man Who Has Everything Challenge

Magical came up with an interesting story premise to illustrate a question she was asking in the fanfic-related folder With her permission, I am elaborating on the premise and turning it into a challenge.

Clark gets a lottery ticket from someone (Martha?), with the stipulation that if he does win, he must spend the winnings on himself. That is, he is not allowed to donate it to charity, to use it to buy anyone else a gift, or to invest it. He must spend it on something that he himself wants. What would it be? Let's say he won $50,000 -- a lot of money, but not enough to buy a house in Metropolis.

I'll get the ball rolling:
1) He might buy a piece of art or two.
2) If he could find a suit of armour that was made with a lead alloy, I could see him buying that and then customizing it as necessary to provide him some protection against kryptonite -- although his cover story would be that he just thought it would be a neat thing with which to decorate his apartment.
3) I recall reading a fanfic in which someone bought Clark a (signed?) first edition of "To Kill a Mockingbird." (My apologies to the author -- I can't remember who wrote it or its title.) Perhaps for this challenge, he might buy himself a signed first edition of a favourite book.
4) A lifetime pass to his favourite Metropolis-based sports teams.

Next? Let's see if we can come up with 100 possible answers.

Joy,
Lynn

p.s., The subject line is taken from the title of a comic book centering around gifts for Superman's birthday.

That's a great comic book too. So sad what Clark has to sacrifice.

5) A portrait (or nice framed photograph) of Lois. (I don't know if this should be #5 or 1a. I'll leave that up to you, Lynn)

Hi Virginia,

I agree about that comic being poignant.

I like your idea! #5 it will be.

Joy,
Lynn

6. A little patch of land somewhere up in the artic that he could develop and build a little home-away-from-home on.

7. Fancy sports car (thinking something like camaro here, not lamborghini) to impress Lois with

I'm sure there's more... there's gotta be more... hmm. This is tougher than I realized...

5a. - A portrait session with his folks to have a family picture with them.

I thought Martha said "no property".

7a - A Motorcycle to go with that nice leather jacket of his. (Normally, I wouldn't recommend this form of transportation but Clark is invulnerable.)

8. A nice lead box, along with a nice collection of lead lined bags.

9. Some seeds and plants for the plot he rents in the community garden.

10. A weekly delivery of Double Fudge Crunch Bars or monthly gift certificate to the Fudge Castle for Lois.

(Now, before you say that it would really be a gift for Lois, think about what the added benefits of a Lois Lane with an easy access to chocolate would be for her co-workers, especially her partner. It's the gift that gives twice.)

11. Hire a fashion consultant to help him design (or choose) his own ties.
11a. 365 new ties for his collection

12. A remodel of his apartment:
12a. - to accommodate a secret Superman closet for his Suits.
12b. - to make it extra secure and less likely to be burglarized by a common street urchant, kicking in his front door.
12c. - add a new deadbolt to his front door.

13. A hide-a-key rock.

14. A new charcoal suit.

15. Dinner at a nice restaurant shared with Lois.

16. Membership in the Cheese of the Month Club.

17. Lead-lined Spandex which then could be made into:
17a - gloves
17b - uniform
17c - cape (although it won't look as flowing as his regular one)

18. Lead lined soles for his Super boots

19. Wedding rings for him and Lois.

20. A new tuxedo for those last minute dates / events / stories.

21. Honeymoon in Hawaii

22. Wedding sans Ellen's involvement

23. A high frequency watch for Lois (as seen in GGGoH) - for his peace of mind.

Did she? I saw no investments, though I suppose that's housing too... Withdraw?? I'll leave it up to Lynn.

I thought the same thing...like he can't put money in a stock. But, if he wanted to, say, buy a piece of land on which to build a house in the future...why not?

I'm good with the property, since he's buying it for his own current use and not investing in realty for profit or wealth preservation.

I would rule out buying food or travel for Lois, though. Although he would obviously be deriving benefits himself with these, they would only be side effects -- indirect benefits, so to speak. The direct beneficiary of those purchases would be Lois, thereby violating the agreement he had had with the lottery ticket giver. The intent of the lottery ticket giver was that Clark be forced to think only of himself for a change.

Even so, I am impressed by the creative ideas being generated here. It's so hard to think of Clark pampering or indulging himself -- which is precisely the intent of the challenge.

Joy,
Lynn

I'll change this one to:
10. A box of fine chocolates that he doesn't have to share with Lois.

So, he can't use this money to finally ask Lois on that date and take her to a nice restaurant or honeymoon in Hawaii? Even though he's getting both food and hotel stay out it as well? I guess that includes sending Ellen on a two month cruise, huh. What man wouldn't want to be so kind to his intruding mother-in-law?

Good questions, Virginia. Nope, not even those things.

I like your alternate #10.

Joy,
Lynn

Okay. Let's see we'll need to change:

15. Dinner out alone at that ***** (5 star) restaurant to see exactly what he's been missing.
15a. Chinese take-out from his favorite hole-in-the-wall in Beijing to fill up his stomach after that meal.


21. A solo vacation in Hawaii to recharge on the beach after that last bout with Kryptonite.


23a - A therapy session with Dr. Friskin after Lois refuses to ever wear the watch.


**Lynn, please let me know if you want me to re-do any of the others.**


24. A magnetic earring to wear, should he ever take up Jimmy's idea to be "cool" or need it to go undercover.


25. A 270' mirror for those tricky hair-cutting jobs.

Your reworked answers are even better than the originals.

Joy,
Lynn

26. A Batman costume to play with everyone's mind.

<nearly spews Mountain Dew all over the place>

27. One hundred extra pairs of glasses

28. Several extra sets of clothes for work, each in a non-descript duffle bag to leave on strategic skyscraper roofs, just in case.

29. Several memberships in Exotic Junk Food of the Month Clubs. After all, the guy traveled the world AND eats like an 8 year-old. He must miss his favorites in Zimbabwe, Guinea-Bissau and Belarus.

Virginia, #26 is a masterpiece!

So basically he can't buy two tickets to Tahiti and just "happen" to have an extra one? $50,000 is a difficult amount to imagine using all in one or two goes with spending it (in small amounts) for others.

Spend it on a bachelorette auction where Lois is the subject of the date (I'm trying to remember how much the guy from Ireland spent on his date with Lois.). Then again, that would be going against the "no charity" rule, wouldn't it?

*scratching my head*
I know what Lois would suggest:

Lois: Why don't you get a car, Clark? You'd finally be able to get where you need to go without bumming a ride from me or getting ripped off by the cabs.

Of course, we all know he doesn't need one, and I've never gotten the feeling that he really desires one either.

The only thing I can truly imagine him using it on is a townhouse or something along those lines. Knowing how much work he put into the flat he lives at now a fixer-upper would be a cinch for him. I can just imagine Lois's response to his purchase...

Lois:I can't believe you spent all that money on this dump. Couldn't you have just spent it on a down payment instead?

I love the suggestions everyone is coming up with. Keep them coming.

30. A sunbed.

Joy,
Lynn

31. A year's supply of hair gel.

32. A year's supply of Olef’s Color Brite Detergent (as seen in Nan Smith's The Inconveniences of doing Superman’s Laundry ).

Patrick's bid was $10K, plus this was post-Contact break-up so buying Lois might not go over so well.

I might not go over well, but it's definiteoy true to character. Then I think the auction bid would definitely fit with the "for him" rule (it's fudging a little but not that much). He did get into the bidding before Patrick showed up if I remember correctly. I guess he would be buying an hour of her time with it, money well-spent, no?

I didn't think it was out-of-character. Totally in character! For some reason, I had thought Patrick had spent much more. Yes, I could see a bidding war, but with Patrick's background, he'd more likely win against Clark's paltry $50K. The true winner of course would be the children of the Coates Foundation. Also, I could also see Martha berating him for trying to spend his winnings on this.

I'm officially adding my "car suggestion

33) Lois convinces him that he " needs" a car. Of course the fact that she gets to drive it too is an added perk. (I'm thinking of is as post-marriage).

34) 50,000 pounds of lead (the cost of lead is currently less than a buck a pound)

Quite honestly I can come up with more ideas for Martha than Clark (maybe I should start another challenge to that effect for the secondary characters).

35) Better security measures for the Star Labs K-vault.

36. All the black-market kryptonite he can get his hands on and a lead box big enough to hold it. Have Lois pick up the merchandise and deposit it in the box, then melt the box shut and drop it into the Marianas trench.

37. Stock in the Daily Planet. Would $50k be enough for him to have any say in whether they sold out to Luthor?

38. Creepy wax statues of his friends

Yes, it's much better to have the Fortress be Clark Kent's old treehouse. No room for exploding wax dummies with all their secrets out for all (who find it) to see. Also, if no one can get into the Fortress, how are they supposed to get the gifts he made them from his secret stalker rooms?

I love the "wax statues" idea, precisely because I always thought much in the Fortress was a little odd, to say the least. "Creepy" is actually a very apt description.

#37 would violate the "no investments" rule, although I do see why he might consider stock in the DP to be more than simply an investment.

Buying the Black Market kryptonite is an excellent idea. I suspect, however, that 50 grand probably wouldn't buy him all that much of it, but every piece disposed of is one less piece to worry about.

Joy,
Lynn

edit, p.s., Speaking of "creepy," am I the only one who found his Superman robots and the way he treated them rather disturbing? Those robots would pass any Turing test; they appear to be sentient and self-aware -- even capable of emotions, and yet Superman treats them the way he would a machine, rather than a life-form: He powers them up and down at will and he orders them about as if they were slaves. For a being who claimed to respect all life, the silver age Superman struck me as being quite prejudiced against his own silicon-based sentient beings.

I understand that the robots are only supposed to mimic life, not actually be alive -- but even if the robots weren't alive by some biological or religious definition of life, they were definitely sentient, and IMHO therefore due more respect than Superman gave them.

D'oh! I forgot about that rule. I was looking at it as a way to prevent Luthor from buying out the DP.

As a replacement:

37. A top-of-the-line security system for his tree house to protect the globe that's inexplicably sitting on the table unprotected.

Good replacement, Mrs. Mxy. He apparently believes in what is known in the information security field as "security through obscurity" -- never a good policy. (Gee, can you tell that I am currently immersing myself in studying for an infosec certification? )

Joy,
Lynn

39. Several dozen top-of-the-line dress shirts made of extra thick, high thread count fabric that does not become transparent upon getting wet

40. A stash of extra keyboards to as replacements for when he types too fast

41. A space suit so he can go walk on the moon whenever he likes without worrying about running out of air

42. As many DP subscriptions as 50K will afford him, to help the circulation numbers. (Especially helpful around the time Lex was buying the "failing" paper.)

There, that's not really an investment per se...

43. A very large stock of Twinkies, Ho-hos, Ding-dongs, and Snickers...all of his favorites. (According to Jonathan in LOTF.) Oh, and plain-cake donuts.

44) a computer with the fastest available processing speed (along with tech support for when he fries it.)