Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Challenge Crack Pairing

My friend's sister just told me about "Canon Pairings" and "Crack pairings" in fanfiction.

Canon Pairings, she says, are of course relationships that are strongly or moderately implied in the story/show's canon (e.g., Lois and Lex; Clark and Mayson; etc).

Crack pairings, she continues, are relationship pairings that are so bizarre and out of left field, that the fanfic author must have been on crack when he/she came up with them (e.g., Lex and Ralph).

So...that got me to thinking...

What outrageous Crack Pairings can you all come up with?

Yes, FoLCs, it's time to take keyboard in one hand, ...sugar... in the other, and dodge the cops! Write about the most off-the-wall romance you can think of!

Lex/Clark
Perry/Martha
Clark/CloneClark
Lois/Mayson
Lois/Perry
Lois/Wells
Lois/Tempus
Clark/Ching

...This is too fun! Maybe I should stop?

Nah!

Ching/Martha
Zara/Lois
Lord Nor/Jonathan
Trask/Mayson

Okay, I'm getting too weird for myself...

Now, to actually choose one and write about? Oh my... Erm... Can I get back to you on that?

You can even have fun with just one character.

BTW, I don't plan on writing any of these, I just can't twist my mind for that long.

Jimmy/Martha
Jimmy/Lex
Jimmy/Tempus
Jimmy/Jonathan
Jimmy/Perry
Jimmy/Clark
Jimmy/Resplendid Man
Jimmy/Bill Church Jr.
Jimmy/Bill Church Sr.
Jimmy/Ralph
Jimmy/Trask
Jimmy/Willie (security guard)
Jimmy/Mindy Church
Jimmy/Alt-James Olsen
Jimmy/Dr. Klein
Jimmy/Wanda May
Jimmy/Mxyzptlk
Jimmy/Bad Brain Johnson
Jimmy/The Lakes
Jimmy/Trey
Jimmy/Mayson
Jimmy/Lord Nor
Jimmy/Zara
Jimmy/Ching
Jimmy/Jack
Jimmy/Cat Grant
Jimmy/etc...

The list could go on and on and on

James

Lucy/Cat. Eeeek.

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

But I swear there was a story where Martha and Perry were sweethearts back in the day, but then they broke up. Martha ended up with Jonathon and Perry with Alice. It was pretty believable, actually, given the storyline.

It was all on a planet where women were property....and of course I can't remember WHICH story that was.

And my addition to the horrid pairings: H.G. Wells with <insert drumroll> H.G. Wells. Time travelers have all the fun.

Capes, I'm cracking up at your crack pairing

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Guess I'm feeling kinda sideways today

Lex\his masseuse
Jimmy\ Mrs. Cox
Lex\Martha

Here’s my contribution to the unlikely pairing challenge. Hope you like it!

------


A restless eye across a weary room
A glazed look and I was on the road to ruin
The music played and played as we whirled without end
No hint, no word her honour to defend

I will, I will she sighed to my request
And then she tossed her mane while my resolve was put to the test
Then drowned in desire, our souls on fire
I led the way to the funeral pyre
And without a thought of the consequence
I gave into my decadence

One slip, and down the hole we fall,
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life for life
A small regret, you won’t forget.
There’ll be no sleep in here tonight…

-from “One Slip” by Pink Floyd


---------- One Slip ----------

By TicAndToc
3/2006

------


He loved her.

Yes, it had finally happened - he’d fallen completely and irrevocably in love.

He’d loved her from the first moment he’d seen her, across the room.

He’d been in his usual spot, contemplating his latest story, trying to work out a rather tangled plot twist. Some might call his stories fantasies, since he never wrote them down, but he couldn’t commit them to paper. He was happy just spinning them out to their conclusions inside his head.

So he hadn’t actually heard her arrive, although usually he noticed anyone who entered the room.

No, she’d blindsided him from the start. Concentrating on the story, he’d glanced up – and there she was. He remembered the moment with perfect clarity.

She’d seemed, for a brief moment, to be surrounded by light. His fascinated gaze had taken in her beautiful eyes, her sweetly rounded face, the glossy dark hair. And he’d fallen – hard.

There would *never* be anyone else for him.

And he thought she was interested, although he hadn’t had a chance to speak to her yet. But he'd noticed that she watched him. She’d watched him with fascination that first day, her eyes following him as he moved around.

She hadn’t approached him yet; the presence of the others in the room had kept the two of them apart.

But every day that he saw her, her fascination with him appeared to grow stronger. She’d taken to drifting slowly, gracefully toward him – although she hadn’t, as yet, managed to approach him closely enough for conversation. There always seemed to be someone else who needed her, who would distract her from her path toward him.

Thinking about her, he felt a shiver course through his body.

There were probably some who would say it was impossible for them to be together, but he had to believe that there was a way. A love this strong would surely ultimately prevail!

Day after day, he clung to that hope – that one day, they would find a way to be together.

He would just have to continue being patient. Patience was something he was very good at – much of his life was spent in long hours of simply… waiting.

Waiting for his next story idea to occur to him.

Waiting quietly in an empty room; waiting for the others to return.

Waiting for dinner time.

This was no different. He could wait for his love. He *would* wait for his love, as long as it took.

He glanced over at her - she who was also so very patient, waiting at a distance, watching him. He smiled at her as he watched her in return.

Once again, she rose gracefully to her feet and began to move toward him. His heart rate sped up – could this finally be what he – they – had been waiting for? Would he finally get his chance to get close to her?

He found himself drifting toward her as she approached, until he was stopped by the barrier. Would she be able to overcome it? He could not – he had tried countless times to pass it, and had failed.

His love was an angel – she could do anything! Shivering with delight, he watched in absolute admiration as she prepared to pass this last obstacle to their love.

Yes, at last - this was it! He opened his mouth, long hours of solitary practice bringing the perfect words to mind.

But before he could say a word, his love – his life – was rudely scooped up and bundled, protesting, away.

“Clark!” he heard the woman called Lois say, “That’s *it*! You *have* to get a cover for my goldfish’s tank! Today! *Your* cat was aiming for *my* goldfish again!”

Ah, well. He was accustomed to waiting. He could wait a while longer, dreaming his dreams. One day they – the man called Clark and the woman called Lois - would not be there to stop her, to take her away – and he and his love would be united. He knew it.

He turned and swam back into his castle. It was almost dinner time. He would spin out his newest story one more time, and he would keep waiting.

It was what he did.


(Post has been edited 3/18/06)

TicAndToc, that was absolutely hilarious! I'm literally laughing out loud. Thank you.

Sorry, Toc, but I'm confused.

Who is in love with whom, after all?
Clark with Lois?
Clark with the goldfish?
The cat with the goldfish?
Or the cat with Lois?

(Then again, we could consider this a 4x4 crack pairing... LOL)

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

I read it as a story from the POV of Lois' goldfish, who is in love with Clark's cat.

Although...

I'm assuming that, and vice versa, too.

Thanks, Chris!

And yes, it's the goldfish's POV, and yes, he's in love with a cat. I wanted to keep you guessing until almost the end, so I kept the descriptions vague.

I suppose the references to writing threw you, Anna. But you know, what exactly does a fish do all day? Especially Lois's fish?

Anyway, I've tweaked the story slightly - hopefully the changes help. I think I'll edit the previous post, instead of reposting it.

~Toc

Brilliant, Toc!

Hilarious. That goldfish must take after Lois as it too seems to have an affinity for dangerous situations. Good thing Lois and Clark are there to save it from itself.

Thank you, Toc. You're right; it was the references to writing that confused me.

Now that I got the meaning, I find it hilarious

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Poor, deluded fish...

Guys, these are great!

Gahh, poor goldfish! Something like Little Red Riding-Hood falling in love with the wolf... although yours was much funnier!!

Ann

Fabulous!!!

That would be Echoes of the Past, by ML Thompson. I *loved* that story. Though to be fair, that Martha and Perry were future versions of the ones we know . . .