Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Challenge Unlikely Occupations Challenge

We passed by a business tonight that caught our fancy--a salon by the name of CK Nails.

Needless to say, it got us started on a hilarious conversation.

I don't know if a challenge like this has been done already, but I would love to see our fave
superhero in some unlikly professions.

Some ideas we passed around tonight:

Clark in a beauty salon.
-- "Here let me put a hot towel on your face. I'll be right back."
-- "Oh, honey, you've got to soak those nails for a LONG TIME. I'll be right back."
-- "That hair is a real hazard. Let me go get something to clean that up."

Clark as a day care worker.
-- "I better take Timmy to the bathroom. It's a real emergency."
-- "Oh, I think we need more wipes, I'll get right on that."

Clark as a cab driver. (Although, that would be a great occupation for Lois. "I charge double
if you make me wait.")

Clark as an airline pilot.
-- "I know a great short cut, I've flown thru here before."

Clark as a magician (You should see his disappearing act!)

Clark as a fast-food server.
-- "Hmm, I think we could use some more toilet paper in the bathrooms."

Clark as a trial lawyer (Yes, I know, it's been done...)
-- "Your Honor, I'd like to request a short recess to confer with my colleague."


I'd like to challenge any of you to successfully (or unsuccessfully) place our hero in any of these situations.

James

LabRat

AnnaBtG. (out of breath)

Clark as a teacher.
-- Class, I need to step out into the hall a second to speak with Principal Jones. Put away your books and take out a pencil...
(Students) -- Not *another* pop quiz!!

Clark as a police officer.
(Officer Kent to partner) -- Hey, Pete, how about another donut? I'll be right back...

Clark as a basketball player.
(to referee) -- Time out!

- Vicki

fun.

day care worker:

you just sit there and think about what you did, mister...

okay, nap time!

tennis star:

out? OUT? what do you mean it was out? okay, that's it! <throws racket down, storms off the court>

basketball player:

hey! he fouled me! i think i broke my ankle! better go check with the doctor...

cooking show host:

... and we'll just let that marinate for an hour or so... be back when it's ready.

now, most cooks would have a finished one ready, so you can see how it looks when it comes out of the oven. i don't believe in that. i'm going to show you how it really works. so, we'll just put it in the oven and let it roast...

what? you call these eggs fresh? these will never do. i grew up on a farm. i know what fresh eggs look like. okay, i'm going to have to go find some good eggs myself...

plumber:

oh my. that's going to require a special part. i'm going to have to put it on order. be back next week.

hmm. i'm going to need a number 3 ratchet for that. no, a monkey wrench just won't do. this work is too delicate for something as imprecise as a monkey wrench. trust me. let me just go back and grab that ratchet...

clothing salseman:

hmm. it's nice, but don't you think that tie is a little... i don't know... understated? you need something to bring out the colors. let me go see what we have in the back.

tech support:

okay, that's good. but you're going to need to download and install this patch. it'll be a while. call back when you've got it done.

now, to be sure we've got everything covered, run a complete virus scan on all files...

librarian:

oh, don't worry. i can reshelve those boxes. if you need me, i'll be down in the stacks...

oops. got a reserve request. i'm going to have to check through the back room...

pizza delivery boy:

30 minutes or less. got it.

oh, sorry. got a bit lost on the way back...

i got this one! he tips well!

painter:

... and now we get some blue for the sky... oh, but the brush is still full of red paint. that will never do. i'm going to have to get a clean one...

secretary:

ow! carpel tunnel! carpel tunnel! ow! ow! gonna need some asperin...

take a memo? sure. let me get some paper and... hey! this isn't a number 2 pencil!

oops! typeo! and i'm out of white-out again!

oh, don't drink that. that coffee has been sitting out there all day. i'll just run down to the coffee shop for you...

dentist:

now, i'll just let the novocaine take effect. sit tight.

you haven't been flossing. i can tell. i'm going to bring the hygenist in to do some work before i get started.

ooo. you have been flossing. good for you. nice job. well, see you in 6 months.

dock worker:

break time! sorry. union rules.

bartender:

you want a bud? i'm sorry. we're fresh out. let me go get some from downstairs. no, no. i couldn't serve you an amstel when you really want a bud. wouldn't be right. it's no trouble. won't take a minute, really.

fireman:

hey, has anyone walked the dalmations today?

you smell smoke? i'm going to go check it out... <20 minutes later> ... sorry, false alarm. just a whiff of the grill down the street...

airline pilot:

hey, i wonder how good the automatic pilot is...

you take the stick. i'm going to go see how the passengers are doing. can't be too good when it comes to customer relations, you know...

hi there, timmy. welcome to the cockpit. ... you want to be a pilot when you grow up? really? well, i've got a special treat for you. you want to take the controlls for a while?

well, tammy, the only way you'll work your way up from flight attendant is if you get some experience as a pilot...

astronaut:

i'm going to step outside for some air. be back in a few.

uh-oh. i think i left the windshield wipers on. let me check...

photographer:

let me see how these came out. gonna be in the darkroom for a while. remember, don't open the door. the light would ruin the exposures.

hey, check it out! i got more pictures of superman! how do i get these shots? uhm... trade secret.

sorry, can't work with a partner. can't reveal all my secrets or i'd be out of a job.

That was great Paul & Vicki!
James

What about Lois?

Can't <gasp> breathe!

Have at it.

Lois as a Beautician
--(for Tank)"Long hair is soo passé! Here let me fix you up with a short feathered job. Red hair dye is free."
--(for everyone else)"Listen, I cut it the way I see it."

James

AnnaBtG. (still out of breath)