|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
The title of this one is subject to change (I'm taking suggestions!). And I only wrote it this morning so please forgive any stupid mistakes.  But I had fun writing it.  PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Random thoughts: Fun stuff...I don't know I kind of like the title... Clever way of bringing in the 'unspool'... I'm a little bit surprised that Lois didn't show any anger at Clark after remembering the big secret, but then again I suppose even though there's this little mention of it: She froze, still feeling some of the anger she'd experienced on that trip. But then, there was the time he'd said he hated lying to her. She knew he meant that. And that he'd always wanted to change into Superman in front of her. At least she knew he hadn't been laughing at her, behind her back ...she also remembers his sincerity and her understanding, so yeah, that balanaces out, I guess. Loved the parting shot: She interrupted him with a soft kiss. "It's okay, Clark. But for pete's sake, the next time you have to run off to be Superman, just say so!" I always love it when writers make Lois so matter-of-fact-let's-get-on-with-it about CK=S...I can just see Clark being floored with a line like that. Jen
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 116
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 116 |
Oooooooh! I was hoping somebody would respond to this challenge... definitely an interesting one.
Yay!!!! I loved your parting line. I wonder what Clark has to say to that?!?! Sequel?? Please?
Caroline
You've gotta be original, because if you're like someone else, what do they need you for?
~Bernadette Peters
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761 |
I also like this title, and couldn't come up with anything better. I have to admit that the 'UnSpool' challenge still had me a little confused, but I enjoyed this fic. Good work!  See ya, AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 699
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 699 |
Nicely done, Pam! And that modern art gallery is exactly in character (Character? What character?) for Dan.
Good title, too.
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
Cute story, Pam.
The date with Dan was amusing, and a clever way to bring the phrase into play.
Lois wouldn't have needed to get mad at Clark once all the memories were back because she was mad at him back then and got over it. So she was able to remember her getting over it.
Good last line. I always like to see Lois with the upper hand.
Tank (who figures that Pam was feeling the pressure from Sherry's reader's comments to get her back writing)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
LOL, Pam and awwwwwwwwwww. Cute and waffy ending there.  Don't see anything wrong with the title either. LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Hi Pam,
You were right on with this. Generally, I have no use for "call me Dan" Scardino, considering him a cheap plot device in a loud shirt. However, you used him beautifully here. And he has an artist's soul, who knew?
Also, really loved your painting, and am currently wondering where I can get a print of Chaos Unspool.
Thank you so much for your time and creativity!
CC-
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 941
Features Writer
|
Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 941 |
Oooh, Pam, very nice indeed! Although I wouldn't have been averse to Lois popping Dan one in the nose, as was mentioned in the challenge thread itself, it's too bad that it wouldn't have worked in this story. :rolleyes: Maybe another one... I really liked your "trickle down" theory with just the word "unspool", that the memories came gradually as opposed to what might have been a flood if she'd heard the whole phrase. Very ingenious. The fact that the memories didn't come rushing at her in the space of a minute or two probably eased the "trauma" of it all for Lois. And since she was needing to pull on the loose threads of the jumble of memories in her mind, that forced her to use her investigative skills to figure it out, rather than just remember... And since she also remembers Clark's regret over having lied to her as well, at least she can let go of her anger pretty easily, so we can have this lovely moment... She smiled and looped her arms around his neck, a move that clearly surprised him. She reached up to kiss him, and after a moment's startlement, his arms came around her and he began responding to the kiss. And then it just kept getting better and better. Declarations of love... ![[Linked Image]](http://images.bravenet.com/brpics/smilie/cupidarrow.gif) and then the zinger... "It's okay, Clark. But for pete's sake, the next time you have to run off to be Superman, just say so!" I can just picture the smile on Lois' face...and the stunned expression on Clark's! KathyM
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597 |
Oh, Pam, this is *wonderful*! I absolutely love it! Lois walked over to the sculpture that Dan was admiring. It looked like a bunch of coat hangers and hubcaps welded together. This is so fitting, Dan taking Lois to a modern art museum. That is very clever ... all those weird gifts had to mean *something* other than the fact that he was simply an odd person. <g> Very nice, Pam. Maybe she'd fake a need for a bathroom break and just not come back...
She'd been hanging around with Clark too long; she was picking up his bad habits ROTFL!!! Another mystery presented itself: what was it about feeling vaguely ill and thinking of Clark that would make her think of buttermilk? ROTFL again!! Oh, too funny! You have so many great lines in here, Pam! And a great, waffy ending! Awesome story! (And the title is just spiffy. <g>) Kathy
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 152
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 152 |
Great story Pam! Very interesting & great response to the challenge. Unfortunately no punching-Dan-in-the-nose scene though! Oh well... maybe someone else can come up with that one!
*Blayne*
Clark: You are really high maintenance, you know it?
Lois: But I'm worth it.
Clark: Not exactly what you had in mind, huh?
Lois: Let's see. So far I've been given a glimpse of ritual crop worship, been treated as your girlfriend, and insulted your parents. No, I couldn't have planned this.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 197
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 197 |
Pam -- How fun!!!  )
"Well, let's see, so far I've been given a glimpse of ritual crop worship, treated as your girlfriend, and I insulted your parents. No, I couldn't have planned this. Mmm, mmm." -- Lois to Clark, 'Green, Green Glow of Home'
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206 |
Guess I'm very late to the party, so I won't say too much. Most everyone has already mentioned the best parts, including to me the way the memories only slowly came back instead of in a flood. The reasoning worked pretty well, too. I'm also disappointed Dan didn't get a punch in the nose, but then again it was my idea to begin with. Great challenge story!
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 522
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 522 |
Lovely, Pam Waffy, even... Although I was sort of waiting for Lois to use the word 'unspool' with Clark, to help jog his memory. But from watching the first Tempus ep (was that Tempus Anyone? I forget), I also sort of got the idea that Clark remembered but Lois didn't - remember the card shuffle at the end? But I could be wrong about that, too - I've been known to be, before... Hope to see another fic - or ficlet - from you again, soon! Melisma (ducking shyly back under her Rock)
Do, or do not. There is no try.
- Yoda
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791 |
I was wondering how you were going to do this. The art title was a stroke of genius.  It figures that's where someone would use the word unspool. I also liked how the word alone would start a trickle, and the whole phrase would bring it all back. Of course, this part had me  : She interrupted him with a soft kiss. "It's okay, Clark. But for pete's sake, the next time you have to run off to be Superman, just say so!" Great!
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,099
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,099 |
Excellent and hilarious, Pam! The visit of the contemporary art museum, Dan's explanations and Lois's inner comments made me laugh out loud, and then the famous word launched her memory back, yay! Way to shoot yourself in the leg, Dan.  I was really glad that Lois wanted to see Clark immediately, and that she decided to kiss him despite what she found out. Very sweet. The tag line, of course, is even more fun. Thanks for sharing it with us! Kaethel
- I'm your partner. I'm your friend.
- Is that what we are?
- Oh, you know what? I don't know what we are. We kiss and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other's arms, but we never talk about it, so no, I got no clue what we are.
~ Rick Castle and Kate Beckett ~ Knockout ~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Loved it Pam! From the bad art that Dan was showing her to her regaining her memories to grabbing Clark at the end! Very cute ending too. Great job. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Pam, this is terrific!! Lots of wonderful humour, as others have commentd on - that remark about buttermilk is classic. And Clark turned up right on time. As for the final line... This has to be one of this year's comedy classics! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 248
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 248 |
*Super* response to the challenge, Pam - very clever!!
Such a little thing really, a kiss...most people don't give it a moment's consideration. They kiss on meeting, they kiss on parting, that simple touching of flesh is taken entirely for granted as a basic human right.
Susan Kay
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 303
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 303 |
yay! So funny and sweet--I loved it.
|
|
|
|
