From Part 1...
Clearly, despite her best intentions, the words had hurt him. There had been no way around that. He looked back up. "And Luthor? Do you love him?"
"I don't know," she replied, still trying to figure things out for herself. "I do have feelings for him." It was all so confusing. How had her life changed so much, so fast? Nothing made sense anymore. She needed a solid foundation, something she could count on. If she could find an anchor, she could build from there. She thought back through everything she'd thought she could count on. Her parents had long since been crossed off the list. Perry was gone. Jimmy was gone. The whole Planet was gone. Clark... she didn't even know where she stood with Clark. That left only one. Clutcing to that possibility, she continued speaking. "I haven't said yes, yet. And I won't, until I've talked it over with someone else."
"Who?"
"I think you know. If you see him, will you tell him I'm looking for him?"
He stood up and stepped away, his face unreadable. "Yeah, sure," he said, his voice heavy with a weary, bitter sarcasm she'd never heard from him before. "I'll go see if I can find him for you. It might take a while."
She sat there, stunned, as slowly, deliberately, Clark Kent flew up, up, and away.
And now, Part 2....
Clark was Superman. How could she have missed something that now seemed so obvious?
Her first reaction had been to yell. As Clark had reached the tallest of the buildings, he had suddenly sped off and Lois had heard the telltale ‘sonic boom’ that signaled Superman’s arrival or departure. For those few seconds, she had wanted to scream, to pour all of her emotions into a noise loud enough to drown out that undeniable sound. To shout out just exactly what she thought of a man who lied to his best friend. She stared up into the sky where her partner had gone, no, flown; where her ex-partner had flown. And although she was sure he would have heard her protests, she realized that the half dozen other people who were milling around the park would too.
She looked around, eyeing everyone in sight. No one was looking her way, nor were they looking up in the sky, searching for a superhero dressed in a suit. Two people in their mid-twenties were snuggled together under a tree, a man was playing with a dog and two laughing kids, and a woman was jogging steadily on a path. No cars had screeched to a halt and no gasps of awe had echoed in her ears. She could have been at the park alone for all the reaction they had gotten. She stiffened at the thought; she was alone. She had lost her close friendships with Perry and Jimmy after the destruction of the planet, and though she had kept Clark for a while, she was sure she had lost him now.
Lois berated herself. Had she ever had him? Clark had been the one person that she had felt really comfortable with. He was supposed to be her best friend, and yet he hadn’t even told her who he really was until today. What else might he be hiding? She wasn’t sure if she even should want him back…or if he should want her.
Where did that thought come from? She hadn’t done anything wrong. Clark was the one that had lied. But, her mind argued back, she was the one who had been so callous. She had known that what she was going to say would probably hurt, and she had hated hurting him, but she had seen it as unavoidable. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she hadn’t stopped there. Not only had she rejected an honest gift of love from her best friend, she had also told him to pass on a message to the obvious object of her desire. That had to be the crushing blow, she was sure. His expression had seemed nonchalant, but his reply was uncharacteristically sarcastic. And then he had lifted off the ground and everything suddenly made terrible sense.
A single tear slipped slowly down her face at the thought of loosing Clark. She suddenly realized that Clark had been one of the main anchors in her life. He was the last one that she remained…until just now. Her work at the Planet had always been a grounding force, something she could count on, something she could throw all of herself into. Perry had been there for her more in the past few years than her parents had been her whole life. He had been her adviser, someone to help nudge her back on her path when she went a little too gung-ho. Clark had somehow joined him in that role, though she wasn't sure when. Slowly over the last year, she had found herself turning to him more and more. Whether it was a place to hide out when one of her many “critics” got a bit trigger happy, a person to bounce ideas off when putting the pieces of a story together, or just pizza and a Mel Gibson movie, had always been able to count on Clark to be there. When no one else had been able to stand her moods and her rants, Clark had. And now it seemed she had finally driven him away.
She took a deep, steadying breath. “Oh, Clark…” She whispered softly.
That’s where Lex found her, an hour later. Sitting on that bench in the middle of the park completely lost in thought.
“Lois? Lois are you ok?” Lois shook herself out of her contemplation and turned to see Lex Luthor walking up to her, worry written on his face. Lex. He represented another area in Lois’s life that was up in the air, no pun intended.
He took a seat on the bench next to her, “I went to the station to see if you wanted to join me for a late lunch, but they said that they had been expecting you back for the past hour.” Inwardly he was annoyed, “Bucking my rules already, Lois?” He thought to himself. “You know that LNN wants you to check in when you go off to a story Lois.” He scanned the park and chuckled, “Though, I don’t see any riveting news here.”
She looked at her watch, surprised, “An hour?! I have to get back, Lex. I-I have some work-” She stood up to leave, but Lex calmly took hold of her arm and steered her back onto the bench.
“No need, my dear. Didn’t I say that I wanted to take you out? I know you have a lot on your mind lately. I want to help you with your decision,” he said, kissing her hand. “Come, let us have lunch and we can talk. As of now, you have the rest of the day off.” He smiled and stood up, holding out his hand for Lois to take.
Lois sighed inwardly. While she was enjoying her new job, she didn’t think she would be of any use to anyone at LNN any more today. What she really wanted, however, was to do was go home and curl up in her robe with a big tub of ice cream.
She looked at Lex’s outstretched hand, and then her eyes traveled up and settled on his brown eyes, eyes that were similar and yet still so different from Clark’s. She remembered once calling Clark’s eyes dull, insipid, mud-brown, but she had admitted to herself later that they were more of a chocolate color. Lex’s eyes were more of a…toffee she guessed. Clark’s were warm and compassionate, while Lex’s were well... they weren't exactly "cold". They were more "cool." Cool and controlled. Not that controlled as a bad thing. Lex couldn’t afford to let his emotions get the better of him. He was a successful businessman because he kept tight control of his dealings.
She shouldn’t be comparing them anyway. Finding out that Clark was Superman didn’t mean that she should now automatically love him. Maybe Clark loved her, but he had still lied to her. She suddenly realized that he hadn’t expected that her finding out would change her feelings. Rather, he had flown off, and he had taken her hopes of Superman with him. Lois had made a choice when she had told Clark that she loved him only as a friend. Maybe she had made the wrong choice, but she wasn’t one to shirk the consequences of her actions. She couldn’t just change her mind about Clark because he had turned out to be Superman. Logically, it should simplify things, but realistically, it made things more complicated. She wanted to be with someone because loved him, entirely, but she didn’t even know the real Clark, yet. Even now, her thoughts concerning him were conflicted.
She looked again at Lex’s outstretched hand. She had pushed her best friend away without really knowing him; she wouldn’t make that rash of a decision again. Did she love Clark? Parts of him, yes, though she was still infuriated at some of his actions, the rest of him, maybe, if she had allowed herself to take the chance. Did she love Lex? She wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t going to push away another person who cared for her. She didn’t have an answer for Lex yet. For once, she decided to “look at the water level before she jumped in.”
She reached out and grabbed Lex’s hand as he helped her stand up. She would use this time to learn more about the man beside her; she would see if he was someone that she could love.
Far above them, a broken-hearted man watched as Lex led Lois to his limo, his hand possessively on her arm. The wind whipped around the onlooker as he heard Lex ask Lois what was troubling her. He closed his eyes, blocking out the sight, and then turned and headed north.
