Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Playing to Win FINAL

Sorry for the posting delay, I was at a Durham Bulls game watching my future husband (Clay Aiken of American Idol fame <G>) sing the national anthem. It was an amazing performance, and it was actually quite amusing as they flew him onto the field in a helicopter. I mean, I love Clay and we're all very glad he's home, but...a helicopter? He's *Clay* not the Pope. <G>


Okay, lots of new stuff in the section. Some minor changes to the original ending, plus a bonus scene. What do you think?

And what do you think in general about the rewrite? There were some pretty substantial changes from the original.

Thanks for reading. I hope you've enjoyed!

Annie

What do I think of the rewrite in general? One word -- awesome.

It was a cute story before, definitely, but with all the work you've done on it and the changes you've made, it has turned into a fantastic story. Nicely done, my friend.

Oh, and I'm so glad you added the "bonus scene". It makes me laugh every time.

Great job!

Kathy

Annie,


Wow, this was so great! I am so glad that I checked the boards before I went to sleep tonight! I am glad you had a good time seeing Clay.

Yes! Paul gets his come-uppance! He deserved that so much! It was so satisfyingh to see.

I saw one gramatical mistake in Lois's dialogue (the one that is my biggest pet peeve having the psycho english teacher dad like I do ), but it is dialogue so I am not sure if you intended it or not. I'll tell you privately .


- Alicia

YAY!

And I looooved how Lois broke up Paul and Jennifer. Too. Funny. After all the crud L&C had put up with him, he so deserved it.

JD

Sigh

hey annie. glad to hear you realize clay isn't the pope.

as for the story..

wonderful ending to a wonderful story. very sweet, very waffy.

i like the change in attitude once lois realizes that it's going to be a long-term thing. makes a lot of sense, and works very well. it also allowed for this sentence (and the paragraphs that go with it), which i really liked:

beautiful sentiment.

also glad to see that jerk (who will, in this post at least, remain nameless) get what he deserves.

i think my favorite line from this part, though, is the following:

so, just when do we get to see part one of that, hmmm?

Paul

I love it! Paul getting his just desserts is soooooooo hilarious and I'm glad that Jennifer doesn't appear to be such a bimbo and refuses to be treated like one. I totally love the fact that Lois gets to engineer the break up and at the same time exact revenge.

LOLOLOL!!!!!!

Loved the 'talk', loved Paul's getting his (although I was sort of hoping that you'd mention how Clark made him pay for 'their' room, but that's okay ), loved everything.

And am dying to read the next story, so please, don't take too long with it, okay??

Melisma (still wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, here under her Rock)

Annie

WOW! I love the rewrite.
Excellent work!

The bonus scene is great. LOL!

Thanks for sharing this fantastic story. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Tricia

Love the bonus scene!

Okay, now that you've posted the last part of the rewrite, where's the first part of Playing for Keeps????

Irene

Yay nice end to this part. Where is the next?<g> Laura

Yay! I love this story, even more so now that it's new and improved--esp. the new ending where Paul gets his!!! I'm eagerly awaiting the ck=s revelation in the next story and see how your characters will handle it.
Great job!!

Hooray! Great ending, great story!!

Nice job Annie! Looking forward to PFK!!



~Liz

Hi Annie,

This was wonderful.

MAF

I must sound like a broken record by now - actually, now that vinyl has pretty much gone the way of the dodo, is there a new equivalent to that expression by now? - but I LOVED this story. Lois and Clark each went through rather an emotional wringer on this one...and we haven't even had the revelation yet!

Yes, Clark. Finally, he gets it...

An emotional roller coaster for them, and then physically you have them up and down as well. It's a good thing our boy has "super" will power, Annie. But I agree, I think it would have been a *big* mistake for them to carry on; I like the way they're pulling back and taking their time.

And an awesome bonus scene! Paul deserved every second of it - and so much more!!

This was a wonderful story that I truly enjoyed reading, Annie. I am so looking forward to PfK, whenever it's ready. Thanks so much.

KathyM

Annie,
I loved the story
I loved the rewrite
and I loved the extra scene
Can't wait for the next story in the series

merry

I said it before, and I'll say it again - please, may we have the next story (and soon)??? I know - I'm nagging

If there isn't, Kathy, there should be. What about sounding like a scratched CD?

Melisma ( under her Rock )

Thanks so much to everyone who has commented either publicly or privately while I was reposting this. Your feedback has meant a lot to me. I'm so glad everyone seemed to enjoy this the second time around. I feel much better about this version.

Before I get to the specific comments, I need to address this:

Paul, of COURSE he isn't the Pope. The Pope can't get married, and that would put a real cramp in my future plans. :p

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programing...


That seems to be the general consensus. I have to admit that it was pretty satisfying to write too. <G>

I think I might have addressed this earlier, but I specifically didn't put that in here because the reporters aren't paying for their hotel rooms, the papers are. That means a) Paul would suffer no punishment for having to pay and b) Clark would have to explain why he wasn't in his room, and where he was instead. <G>

I'm glad this came across. As nice as it would have been to have a "happily ever after" scene here, they just weren't ready.


And finally:
/me takes a deep breath and prepares for what's coming. Okay, I'm working on it, I promise. Every day, in fact. But it's kinda slow going. Also, if it stays with the tradition I've started of each part growing, we're in for an epic. Playing the Park was roughly 60K and Playing to Win in roughly 190K. I really hope Playing for Keeps falls somewhere in the middle, but I'm not sure I can keep it that short. In any case, even though I'm writing every day, don't expect to see it anytime soon. I already have quite a bit written, but I don't post until the story is finished, so it's still going to be a little while. But that means that when it is done, you can count on me to post each part quickly.

All right, enough of my ramblings. Thanks so much everyone. I'm going to make a few more recommended changes, then it's off to the archives. Playing for Keeps will be up as soon as it's done.

Annie

Hi Annie, I'm late commenting on this fabulous rewrite. I loved the original and I waited until you'd finished this one to read it in one swoop.

I love this one even better!