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#1068 05/07/03 05:07 PM
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AnnieM Offline OP
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Okay, a someone evil place to stop, I know, but it was the natural break. Can I make it up to you by promising a bonus scene in the next section?

What did you think of this? There are some minor changes again to keep it in line with the earlier changes? Comments?

Annie


Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description. ~Anna Quindlen
#1069 05/07/03 05:38 PM
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BONUS SCENE! YAY!

Really, the only reason it wasn't TOO evil of a place to stop was because I remembered it from the last version. smile


"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
#1070 05/07/03 05:42 PM
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This was awesome! Yeah, you could have stopped at a better place, but I figure that means that you plan on posting the next part pretty quickly. Right? evil

Keep going! I'm loving this. And didn't you say there was a third story in the set, too? I hope I remembered right...

Melisma (charmed, here under her Rock)


Do, or do not. There is no try.
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#1071 05/07/03 07:20 PM
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great part, annie. all that bittersweet introspection, each loving the other but thinking i wasn't returned... some really beautiful lines there.

was a bit confused by the cruise. i don't remember an upcoming cruise being mentioned, so i found it a bit confusing when you were suddenly talking about water and rails and such. "are they on the docks, looking out over the water? ... no, they're on a ship. are they on a ferry? why would they be on a ferry? where would they be going? ... oh, they're on a cruise ... ah, it's a convention thing..."

i figured it out, but doing so took me out of the story a bit.

some really steamy stuff after that. very good steam, too.

but that last line... it's so heartwrenching...

well, looking forward to that being fixed with some yummy WAFF in part 8. better get to that soon. i want a happy ending!

i also want "playing for keeps." so, get moving! laugh

Paul


When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
#1072 05/07/03 08:04 PM
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Annie,

Where do I start? Wow doesn't even begin to cover what I felt when I read this.

I could absolutely picture Lois being part of a group of 'Planet' women drooling over Clark in a tux! But of course she would never admit it.

And I squealed with happiness with Clark finally took the initiative and kissed Lois (seriously, my dad heard me and asked me if I was ok!). But then I got really mad at Paul for showing up at just the wrong moment (again!). He reminds me of so many guys that I know/have known.

Then just when I thought that they were finally going to declare their love for each other, Lois's fears come out again. Poor Lois! She has been hurt so badly that she can't see that Clark is telling the truth. I feel so bad for her. But I also feel bad for Clark! Aah! I feel so bad for both of them!

- Alicia smile1


Laura "The Yellow Dart" U. (Alicia U. on the archive)

"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve
#1073 05/07/03 09:30 PM
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Noooo you can't leave it there!!!! eek

This is so beautifully written, I was totally drawn in.

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He’d have to find a way to make her fall in love with him.
Erm.....don't think that'll be a problem wink

Hopeless chocoholic wave

#1074 05/07/03 09:35 PM
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Annie

WOW! An excellent part! mecry

I'm thoroughly enjoying this and look forward to reading the next part.

Tricia cool

#1075 05/07/03 11:47 PM
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Mmmm... that was a great section <g> Lotsa smoochies, even if there is lotsa angst, too wink But smoochies without angst would mean this would be the last part, and we don't want that, now do we? wink

Can't wait to see how they *finally* start to communicate. I mean, I can go back and read the first version (and I probably will <g> ) but I wanna see the changes you've made. And a bonus scene! smile1

PJ


"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."

--Stardust, Caroline K
#1076 05/08/03 12:45 AM
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I loved this story the first time around and I've been reading hit and miss this time. Though I knew the goody would be in this part! wink

One little detail I wanted to point out... when Lois and Clark go back to the room, he takes off his tie and unbuttons the top button on his shirt. Then when things heat up, you have Lois take off his tie. confused Just thought you might want to fix that.

Again, great! Looking forward to part 8! thumbsup

#1077 05/08/03 03:46 AM
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This is so good Annie, good thing you mentioned that bonus, because otherwise you'd be really hyper

~Liz


Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
#1078 05/08/03 12:41 PM
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Hi,

Great part. thumbsup

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Instead, she dropped her head back to his shoulder and groaned softly, “Please tell me it’s not time to get up yet.”

“It’s still early,” Clark said, trying to suppress his laughter. He reached up to stroke her hair, hoping she wouldn’t wake up all the way and realize exactly where she was. “Go back to sleep, sweetie.”
blush Love it!

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"Oh, God, Lois. I love you," he whispered against her lips.

Lois froze. Memories of past lovers who'd used a false profession of love to get her into their beds flitting through her mind. Not Clark, please not Clark. She could deal with the fact that he didn't love her, though she knew he would break her heart. But she couldn't deal with him lying to her, using her. Honest. Clark was honest, had always been honest with her. If she lost that now….

Clark pulled back, worry evident in his face. "Lois, honey, what's the matter? Are you ok?"

"Don't, Clark. Please, just…you don't have to do that."

He was visibly confused. "Do what?" he asked, stroking her side again.

"You've already got me," she whispered, struggling to keep her emotions in check. "You don't have to tell me that you love me to get me into bed."
frown Poor Lois!

More soon, please.

MAF laugh


Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
#1079 05/08/03 02:08 PM
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Annie,
just read 6 & 7
and I'm remembering too
not a good place to stop
more soon please
merry

#1080 05/08/03 05:28 PM
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Thanks again for all the wonderful feedback. Sorry to make you wait so long for the final part. And it sounds like it was a good thing I bribed you with the bonus scene. Otherwise, I'd really be in hot water. <G>

Quote
And didn't you say there was a third story in the set, too? I hope I remembered right...
Yes, there is a third in the series. It's called Playing for Keeps and it picks up shortly after PtW. It's probably about 1/4-1/3 done right now, but needs A LOT of work still. I'm writing as fast as I can, and I have some extra time now that finals are over, but I'm struggling a bit. I'm working on it every day, but it may be a little longer than I originally thought before I'm done. Hopefully not too long though.

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was a bit confused by the cruise. i don't remember an upcoming cruise being mentioned, so i found it a bit confusing when you were suddenly talking about water and rails and such. "are they on the docks, looking out over the water? ... no, they're on a ship. are they on a ferry? why would they be on a ferry? where would they be going? ... oh, they're on a cruise ... ah, it's a convention thing..."

i figured it out, but doing so took me out of the story a bit.
Okay, I was *certain* that there was a paragraph, or at least a line, earlier where Clark was thinking about the dinner cruise and how that would be there last night together. I went back to look for it so I could point it out to you, but I couldn't find it. So either I was imagining it, or I accidentally edited it out at some point. Either way, I definitely think you're right and I'll make sure to add something explaining this before I send it to the archives. Thanks.

Quote
And I squealed with happiness with Clark finally took the initiative and kissed Lois (seriously, my dad heard me and asked me if I was ok!).
LOL! Glad it rates a squeal, but I hope you don't scare your parents *too* bad. <G>


Thanks again!
Annie (off to post the *final* section!)

Editing this to say: I found it. I knew there was a reference to the cruise earlier. I'm not going crazy. This is from the scene where they are cuddled in bed from Clark's POV

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One more day. This was the last day of the conference. The speakers were only scheduled until noon, and there was nothing else until the dinner cruise that night. Then tomorrow they would board a plane and head back to Metropolis; back to the lives they led before Paul dropped in unexpectedly, turning their world upside down.
I may still need to add something else, but it's nice to know I'm not losing my mind. smile


Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description. ~Anna Quindlen

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