We were very very lucky to get a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Delays (which is a polite way of saying Autistic-Spectrum-but-we're-not-going-to-use-the-A-word) before he was 3 and excellent support from the local school district in getting him into a developmental preschool that had therapists who were excellent in bolstering his physical deficits - large and small motor control and speech. We watched his diet - no milk, little grain, mostly organic (and this was before organic went mainstream.) We were also lucky that his social deficits weren't severe so we had something to work with - actively teaching him how to recognize cues and respond in social situations, recognize his own emotional states, things like that. (One of his issues was that while other kids could pick up 'proper responses' from observation, frequently he'd make completely off assumptions about what was going on and base his responses from that.)
His later diagnosis was 'Aspergers Syndrome'
As I said, we were lucky. But mostly I think it's a matter of being the best advocate you know how to be and then some when interfacing with schools, doctors, and therapists and keeping at it, building on what works and keeping yourself educated on what the newest research is telling us concerning the neurological basis of the problem. One of the newest theories I've read indicates neuron over-growth and then prune-off in the brain (like what happens to the retinas of premies exposed to too much oxygen early on. The over-growth and die-off destroys the retinas.) So the amount and location of the prune-off may be the cause of the great variation of symptoms. And if the active sensory-filtering system that humans have is damaged, then you have sensory over-load into a brain that isn't designed to handle that type of sensory input. We're talking about things that probably would only show up in an MRI while it's happening.
Oh, and he claims he's not AS anymore - but he's never watched himself when he's frustrated and tired and growling at things.
