This is indeed a powerful story. You've captured the bond between son and father very well. And you've reminded us that Superman has more weaknesses than just Kryptonite.
This passage, however:
Nothing felt real. Nothing looked real. Nothing was real. Not him, not the air, and definitely not this moment. None of it seemed real. But it was. This horror was real, undeniably, damningly so ... this was really happening ... and the world was still turning. The damned thing didn't even have the decency or compassion to stop – just for one second. If he believed in God, he would undoubtedly believe that the continuation of life was just to there to mock him in his pain, but there was no God.
He had learned that today.
bothers me on several levels. This isn't the first time Clark has had to face death, even the death of someone he loves. And I can't accept that Clark would feel (not
believe, mind you, but
feel) that his father's death was the most important event in the universe. It is, of course, vitally important to him, and by extension extremely important to his friends, but essential to the smooth operation of the entire universe? I don't think so.
And the implicit statement that if God really existed He would wipe away all suffering - or even Clark's specific, very personal suffering - is arrogant when you look closely at it. Nothing in the Bible promises that believers will never suffer pain or loss or death. And God has never defined Himself as the eliminator of all of our problems and discomfort. For Clark to blame God because his overweight father died of a heart attack makes as much sense as Clark blaming Lois for not accepting his "I-didn't-tell-you-I-was-Superman" proposal. God wasn't responsible for Jonathan's weight problem or his aging or his high-cholesterol diet or for his choice of occupation (which might have either contributed to his heart problem or delayed its onset).
The story is powerful. The ending is special. And Clark's pain is almost a living thing in your words. I just wish you hadn't thrown that statement in about God.
