Clark suddenly tensed. “Uh-oh.”
She snapped to attention. “What is it?” she whispered. “What do you see?”
“Uh – I have to go.”
“You heard something?” She turned. “Robbery? Car wreck? Earthquake? What?”
“Bathroom.”
She goggled at him. “Wh-what?”
“I have to go to the bathroom.”
The absurdity of the situation almost knocked her down to the floorboard. Apparently Superman had to answer the call of nature just like everyone else. “So, you are human after all.”
He glowered at her under the wan moonlight. “That part of me is, yes. Now where's the nearest men's room?”
She tried unsuccessfully to hide her grin as she pointed to a dumpster across the street.
His eyes widened. “You've got to be kidding.”
“Nope.”
“There? Come on, Lois! There's got to be a convenience store or gas station or something close by.”
“Closest open store is about eight blocks away, unless you want to break in somewhere. It'd take you a while to walk the distance.”
“I could fly there and back.”
“If you flew fast enough not to be seen, wouldn't that create a sonic boom? Or at least a lot of wind?”
“Yes,” he muttered. He pressed his lips together and shifted in his seat. “Nuts! I hate this.”
“Can't you hold it?”
“I'm not that super.”
She clenched her fists in an effort not to dissolve into gales of laughter. “Behind the dumpster. Make sure – make sure no one's using it as a windbreak.”
I didn't know what not to quote from this conversation, because it was so inordinately funny!
It is interesting that this is only the second fic I can remember that clearly tells us about Clark's need to go to the bathroom. (The other fic is Squid and Jenny Debb's splendid A Gift For Life, where Clark comes down with cancer and is treated with some radioactive stuff, if I remember correctly. Anyway, he is told to be careful with his bodily waste products, since they will be radioactive, too.)
EDIT: There is also a scene where Clark is using the bathroom for *that* purpose in Carol Malo's splendid Recognition: The Only Way.
There is something about Clark's need to go to the bathroom that really makes him very human, and not godlike at all. Given Lois's awakening feelings for him, Clark's bathroom needs can only make her react to him even more tenderly. Who else but her has ever been asked by Superman to direct him to the nearest bathroom? Well, there is Lana, of course, but she is dead, and his parents, but they don't really count.
She forced herself to look stern. “Go. I promise I won't peek.”
“Come on!”
“I'll keep watch while you're busy. Maybe you can return the favor later.” She lifted a thermos. “I brought lots of coffee.”
He glared at her again, then reached for the door handle. “You're enjoying this altogether too much.”
She shielded the courtesy light with a towel she'd brought for that very purpose as he slipped out and quietly shut the Jeep's door. Lois leaned her forehead on the steering wheel and tried to muffle her laughter.
Of course she enjoyed herself too much! But with all that coffee, she will have to go the bathroom - or around the dumpster - too.
The pressure in her abdomen abruptly grew and she hissed between her teeth.
“Lois? What's wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“I don't think so. You're wriggling around like a nightcrawler on a fishing hook.”
“Eww. Thank you so much for that visual.”
“No, really, Lois, are you okay?”
She lowered the binoculars. “No. Now I have to go. Satisfied?”
He almost hid his grin. “Yes, I am, especially since I went a while ago.”
“Funny thing about this bust.”
“What's funny? I thought it was a textbook arrest.”
“It was, Clark, but those cars weren't as valuable as I'd expected, and I don't think we nabbed the boss, or even the local manager. Those bozos were pretty much either protection or just parts-pullers.”
Clark frowned back. “Are you saying someone tipped them off and all you really got was the small fry?”
Henderson's eyebrows rose. “Me? I'd never accuse anyone of doing something like that.” He stood and began walking away. “Gotta go. I have to get these fingerlings booked before the public defender can round up bail.”
Clark was left standing alone with his jaw slightly askew. Was Henderson hinting that either he or Lois was feeding information to the carjackers?
He thought about it and decided that the answer was "no.' Bill was just expressing an opinion on something that was bothering him.
Something that he'd shared with Clark but not with Lois. Most interesting.
How interesting that Henderson would tell clark but not Lois. It was of course Lois who called him from the Daily Planet and asked him to come and make the arrests. Does Henderson suspect her of deliberately aiding criminals and helping the big fish to get away by allowing the police to catch the small fry? I can't really believe it. But maybe Henderson suspects that someone at the Daily Planet is watching Lois and working for the criminals?
“I care to hear it not!” Claude shoved him again, this time past the desk.
A small nitpick, Terry. Would Claude really be a reporter for the Daily Planet if his command of English was this bad?
“Sit down, Lois.” She complied silently. Perry pulled out his chair and settled into it. “Now, tell me what just happened in my newsroom. Did I actually see Clark Kent punch a coworker?”
“He was justified.”
Perry shook his head. “No, he wasn't, and we both know why.”
“He was provoked.”
“That's not good enough either and you know that too.”
...
Her gaze bored into her boss's eyes. “That's it, isn't it? Because of Clark's special abilities, you're holding him to a higher standard than the rest of us.”
He sighed again. “Yes, I am doing that. I admit it. But I'm also right.”
I
love that Perry is holding Clark to a higher standard! Now that he knows that Clark is Superman, Perry is expecting him not to use his super-strength where it isn't needed, such as when he gets into fights at work. Most certainly he didn't start the fight, and he didn't do anything to keep it going, and I think Claude was lucky that Perry didn't fire him right away. Even so, Superman shouldn't knock down an annoying little reporter.
She stood slowly and moved towards the door. “I'll go. But this isn't over.”
“It'd better be over! Best thing to do now is to just let it go.”
She paused with her hand on the doorknob. “I promised Lana that I'd take care of him, and I intend to do just that. I won't let you or anyone else hurt him. If it's the last thing I do, Perry, I'm going to protect him.”
“Oh? And how are you going to do that?”
She opened the door. “By any means necessary, using any methods necessary.”
I like the fact that Lois is so protective of Clark, but I hope she doesn't go too far when she tries to protect him.
He didn't feel towards Lois the way he'd felt towards Lana, but there was something between them, something palpable that cut through his defenses every time they stood close to each other, every time she smiled, every time he made her laugh. He didn't know what that meant, and it bothered him that he didn't know.
It also bothered him that he enjoyed her company so much. It was almost as if Lois had become a part of him, as if she filled some void in his heart that he didn't even know was there before they became friends.
I love Clark's musings about Lois. It is clear that he loves her. I can't remember seeing Clark's feelings for Lois described like this in any other story you have written, Terry.
Ann
