Jenni, I'm fairly new to the boards, and I've never been here when you posted a story here before, piece by piece. There's much to be said for that way of receiving a story, particularly when other people are commenting on it, too. So I'm very glad that you are posting a new story now, and that I'm here to read it!
Thank you for your WHAM warning and your reassurance that things will end well after all. One thing is certain, I'm not looking for deathfics when I'm reading about Lois and Clark. I'm also not looking for divorce fics, losing their minds fics, unhappily ever after fics.... You know what I mean!
And you sure start off by serving us a generous slice of WHAM. Just listen to this:
The man awoke to nothingness, then a growing sense of confusion. He thought he remembered pain, terrible pain, but he couldn't be sure. He couldn't grab hold of what pain actually felt like; couldn't grab hold of where he was or even who he was. He had no sense of self.
This is a fantastic opening. "The man." "Awoke to nothingness." "He thought he remembered pain, but he couldn't be sure." "He had no sense of self." What you show us with these phrases is a man who has a sense of being, of existing, a man with awareness and the ability to think, but as you say, a man with no sense of self, no identity. He is, but who is he?
At first, I wasn't even sure that "the man" in question even was Clark, although it seemed probable. I loved your way of proving to your readers that the man really is - or rather,
used to be, Superman as well as Clark Kent. (How ironic that the man who used to have two identities, which caused a lot of heartache, now has none.) Anyway, how can you ever beat a revelation scene like this one?
His hands had sought the normal zip, only to find one didn't exist... not in the showy red underpants, and he'd been afraid of succumbing to a humiliating accident before he'd found the desired opening, under the briefs. He couldn't be sure, but wasn't the normal fashion to wear briefs underneath a suit?
Yeah, well... who, but
who, wears flashy red underpants over the rest of his clothes? Who, but Superman? Or, in this case, who but the man who has absolutely no idea that he
used to be Superman?
So why can't he remember, not even when he looks at what remains of his familiar suit? A terribly frightening answer is beginning to form itself in the next paragraph:
Pain started throbbing deep within his skull, and he raised his hand to his temple, his fingers massaging the soft skin there. That was strange; as his fingertips extended into his hairline, he discovered a patch where his hair was rough and stubbly and he could feel the traces of a small, ridged scar, as if the wound was recent. He searched further over his head and found a similar spot near the base of his skull. What had caused those injuries?
Yes, what had caused them? Clearly he must have had them after he lost his superpowers. Perhaps he got them just because he fell or was hit or something similarly dreary and everyday, but I can think of a much more terrifying possibility. What if he has had brain surgery? Perhaps someone has implanted little devices in his skull, in his brain? What if they are the cause of his amnesia?
You then proceed to tell us about Lois and her and Clark's children. I love your explanation of how they got all three of them. The descriptions of the children are so sweet. This part of your story, however, ends with a most moving passage:
"Lois, honey, don't you give into despair. Clark's gotten himself out of a lot of bad situations before...."
"But maybe, not this time, Martha." Tears were beginning to well up in Lois' eyes. "We've always had this connection, you know. In my heart, I always knew it, long before my head would accept it... but it's always been there. And now...." The tears were coursing down her cheeks, impossible to stop.
"And now?" Martha's question was whispered, realizing she didn't want to hear the answer.
"Nothing, Martha." Though they were far apart, the silence in both homes was palpable. "I've tried and tried to reach him, but there's nothing there. Not in my head or my heart. Martha, Clark is just... gone!"
Well, at least we can be a little more optimistic here than Lois. A man who used to be Clark still exists, even though he isn't Clark any more. And that's why Lois can't reach him, because the connection between them has been erased along with everything within him that was Clark. But perhaps, and hopefully, he can become Clark once more.
And then you give us some really alarming descriptions of people feeding ex-Clark strange food, injecting him with a yellow liquid, strapping him to a stainless steel table and administering more drugs. We can hardly expect ex-Clark to become Clark again as long as they, whoever they are, keep treating him like that. His memory isn't coming back, and it may even be going away even further. Not only is he unable to understand what his Superman suit represents, but now he can't even remember what it looked like, the electric blue tights with the red briefs on the outside.
Fascinatingly, the fact that the man who used to be Clark has lost himself also means, as we have seen, that he has lost Lois. And he is now utterly alone, as alone and unconnected to other people as we may be in death:
He was alone - - the way he'd always been afraid of, at least that thought hovered somewhere in the vestiges of his mind - - in someplace which was akin to a tomb. Perhaps he was dead.
Yes, he is dead to the world. And Clark, and Superman, have both been gone for a year, and funerals have been held for both of them. And Lois Lane wants to become Lois Kent. Well, I can understand that, but I still think she should remain Lois Lane, because it's a great name and because I think it isn't strange that a woman should keep her own name even after she's married. Nevertheless, under the circumstances, I can see that she'd want Clark's name for herself.
The closing paragraph is wonderful:
Often in the dark of night she would remember Clark's sadly prophetic words. That it wasn't the years that mattered, but the moments... and Clark and she had shared more moments of enchantment, passion and tender care than she'd ever dreamed existed in this world. Though to the outer-world Lois Lane would continue on alone with her children, Lois Kent would forever be linked to her partner, her friend and her dearest husband, Clark.
This is a lovely first part, Jenni. Though I want to tell you that when it comes to angst, I can take only so much!
Ann
