I could buy Dan as Mxy - wasn't there a story in the comics where Mxy pranks / annoys Clark by basically having Lois fall head over heels in love with him? Getting Myx / Dan to go away in your story could be an interesting feat in and of itself. That might be fun to read.
The flowery language in my snippet was on purpose - it was Jesse thinking he was the world's greatest poet. Like I said, so bad it's...well, maybe just bad.
