Originally Posted by mrsMxyzptlk
I had to read this part a few times before I decided that it was an error:
Originally Posted by part 10
One Year Later…

The soft cries of a baby could be heard from the brownstone on Hyperion Avenue. Clark Kent held his son close to him as he tried to calm his cries. “Shh, it’s okay. Mommy’s coming. See?” He positioned his daughter in his arms so she could see Lois in the rocking chair, positioning herself to begin nursing.
There's just a baby boy, right? I was trying to figure out if they had twins (but that would have been noticed in the multiple ultrasounds) or if she got pregnant right after she delivered an therefore had a 9-month-old son and a newborn daughter.

A few parts of the story felt rushed, like there wasn't quite enough narration when scenes changed. That was mostly around the end of the convention section, then when they're at the hospital, then suddenly at the DP.

Other than that, I really enjoyed the story. I'm not actually as familiar with these later episodes, but the story made sense despite that. (Sometimes writers leave out parts that are the same as the episode and just assume that the reader remembers, and it makes for a disjointed story.) You combined a good amount of angst with a good amount of character bonding fluff that made this a very enjoyable read.

Ah, I thought I'd gotten all of them. help Thanks, I'll fix that real quick.

When I had originally written this story (back in 2009...Yikes that was 8 years ago!) I had the baby as a girl but changed it in the editing room. It was mainly the name. I couldn't get a feel for the name so I decided to just change it to a boy. razz I thought I'd gotten all the references to a 'daughter' but I guess one slipped through the cracks.

Yeah there was a lot going on and it all came to head in the later chapters which gives you a sense of what is going on... Kinda like those fast paced movies? Anyway that was the feel I was trying to give with this story. Lots of action and drama. Thanks for taking the time to comment and for letting me know about the slip... thumbsup


~ Folc4evernaday

Jodi Picoult - You might not write well every day, but you can always edit a bad page. You can't edit a blank page.
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