Nice work, Carol! I liked it very much. Your Lois had depth, I felt so close to her feelings... well done!
Mind if I point out something?
From part 1:
Then the girl wound down and donned a tiny set of earphones and submerged, entering her own world.
Lois leaned back against the headrest, and listened, nodding occasionally, to the girl's cheerful babble of teen dilemmas but she soon wound down, donned a tiny set of earphones and submerged, entering her own world.
I don't think you meant to have this repetition.
In any case, thank you for a lovely story. (Now, if I ever find the time to read YUTS...)
See ya,
AnnaBtG.
