I think I picked the first option.
I have only been to two funerals. No one in my immediately family has died yet (grandparents, parents, brothers...). So perhaps the relationship factor could effect my reaction.
I went to one once in grade nine for a fellow classmate where her mum died. She was Roman Catholic and we went to a Church. I think the whole experience of being at a service was a bit much for me - total unfamilarity with Church rules and my first funeral. It was closed, but once I saw casket I cried. I cried because I was sad over the situation and for my classmate. Also, others were crying. I was a bit erked at the site of my first coffin. With that said, I am not sure if it was the coffin or the situation that lead me to be *so* touched.
The second time was when I was around 22 or 24. My step-aunt died and it was just a gathering at a funeral home. I cried because...well I dwell on it. That is just my personality. I think and think until I am upset or worried. I can turn the most happy thing ugly. I was in the family room and just listened. There was no coffin or body. I don't know if there was an urn, but she ended up that way. So, the body didn't effect me here.
I hope I won't have any experience to touch upon in the near future. When my grandparents die there will be no funeral ...nothing. I don't want to see their lifeless bodies or coffin. I just have no desire to.
However my step Grandma is Buddist that that will be *big*. I have missed all the other Buddist funerals in my step family and even though I'd be sad to see her go, I will soak in the experience because it will probably be the last big type of funeral in my family on that side. The others are not that big into it..plus it is very expensive. I don't know if the urn would effect me.
When my dog died we had her cremated. That effected me. I know that may seem a bit morbid, but I didn't want her to just disapear like she would with incineration. I needed a reminder of her. She was closer to me than my stepdad. She was around since I was 10 (I'm almost 29 and she died 10 days before I turned 28). I was effected by that. Mind you I was crying on and off for months knowing she was going to go at sometime. Seeing that urn made me really sad, but now when I go to my mum's I take off the lid and say "Hello Sally!!" She in a bag and I hope she's liking it. :p EDIT - oh wait. I saw her dead body during a goodbye (closest to a funeral)at the vet and that made me sad, very sad. Her body didn't bother me at all. I touched her. I was just sad that she was gone.
I guess I don't have any real stories directly relating to your query, but I thought I'd share the closest I have.
