When I was in law enforcement we started out carrying a .357 revolver and then went with a 9mm semi-automatic. Most agencies prefer the semi-automatics just because they could carry 15 rounds instead of 6. And revolvers aren't that fast to load unless you have a speedloader.
As far as the recoil, I can't say I remember much difference between them, but maybe it's my faulty memory. It is important to maintain a tight grip (on the grip, not with the trigger finger) and women can improve their grip by strengthening their forearm muscles--my score was always better when I was doing curls with a 10-lb weight on a regular basis.
I passed up the chance to buy my revolver when they got rid of them, and I do regret it. But I've never kept a gun for personal protection, figuring the gun was more dangerous for my kids than the possibility of an intruder. We live in a fairly safe suburban area.
